A Day Of Penis Gazeing Is Worth The Win!

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by GoonBoss, Oct 7, 2012.

  1. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    :hump:

    I was strip searching hardened felons today, dreaming of the Dolphins win that was to come.

    I feel a little less dirty right now!


    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    *Raises glass of Steel Reserve*

    **** EVERYONE THAT DOESN'T LOVE MY DOLPHINS!

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
     
  2. AdamC13

    AdamC13 Awe "Tight End" my favorite position!

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    I have never been so stumped on how to respond to a thread in my life!

    May God bless you to become a gynecologist in your next life to make up for what you do in this one.
     
  3. The Stache99

    The Stache99 Well-Known Member Donator

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    Well ****, I'll drink to that Duke
     
  4. Cali Finfan

    Cali Finfan A True Fan

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    LMAO!!! I was thinking the same exact thing when I read this post.... Kind of gives the saying of "sausage fest" a new level...
     
  5. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    I work in a maximum security male pen in Texas....For the Great BY GOD state of Texas.

    I serve my state by dealing with scumbags so vile that they have to be strip searched every
    time they leave thier cell....Or anywhere I have locked them and haven't been directly
    observing them. It's got great benefits.

    NOT a benifit is getting to watch grown men go through strip search proceedures
    probably...200 times a day or so? It's awesome.

    But today is not about me. It's about.....Me drinking Steel Reserve and
    going;

    WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    EAT MY PENIS BENGALS!!!!!!!!

    ---------- Post added at 08:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 PM ----------

    Cheers to you sir.
     
  6. Thumper1016

    Thumper1016 A True Fan

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    Drink one for me Goon.
     
  7. Scrap

    Scrap Hall Of Famer

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    You working visitation today, Goon? I work in a prison too. (Maximum security in VA) I was working on a pod getting updates from the inmates.
     
  8. PJack

    PJack A True Fan

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    Really appreciate the sacrifice Goon. Now if it's not too much trouble, we'd all really appreciate it if you would observe more felon penis on game day for the remainder of the season.
     
  9. Wildbill3

    Wildbill3 Misery Loves Company Administrator Finheaven VIP

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    at least you weren't working the shower house. and I think you'll drink the memory away soon tonight bro!
     
  10. Dolphin Dave

    Dolphin Dave Scout Team

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    Squat and cough all day? Damn man I thought my job sucks. However, the Zdolphins won today so it's all good!
     
  11. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    I think we've spoken before. I hear VA prisons are pretty bad in terms of staff/pay/inmate aggression.

    Nope. No visitation for me. I was hoping for medical, but, since I'm really, really, big I tend to get put on E and F pods
    in Ad Seg. I was on E pod today. Most of them are LVL 1s, so they have radios. I was also, getting the updates from
    the crooks.

    Some of them know the Dolphins are my squad were like..."BIG K! BIG K!....DOLPHINS UP 7-6!"
     
  12. sinPHIN

    sinPHIN A True Fan

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    when i saw the title i was like wtf.
    when i was in the army i had to do that to dirty hodge pow's once or twice
     
  13. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    The wife was sick and couldn't pick up my bottle.

    I'll be ok with cheap malt liqour though.

    If nothing else, I'm a trooper.

    Seper Fi.

    ---------- Post added at 08:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:37 PM ----------

    The idea for my next thread; "For all degenerate gamblers.......My sundays are ****ed off for the next four weeks.
    Bet the Dolphins heavy on narrow point spreads."
     
  14. HarryBagpipe

    HarryBagpipe Archibald Meatpants Super Donator Donator

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    Hardened felons huh. Was that before or after you strip searched Em?
     
  15. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    Well, see....There wuz about fifty of 'em.....And they said..."We all want you to strip search us!"...And I said...

    "**** you man!"

    And they said

    "Oh, you're going to see penis today!"

    I beat them all up. I mean, I whupped ***, and possibly violated ammendmnets that
    aren't even there yet. (To the CONSTITUTION, YOU COMMIES!)

    Then, and only then, could they lift their testicles, show the bottoms of their feet, turn around,
    spread thier BUTTOCKS....

    No. Not hardened after dealing with me.
     
  16. Daytona Fin

    Daytona Fin Playoffs Moderator Finheaven VIP

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    It's not a sacrifice , it's a job. He chose it now he lives it. Not that big a deal.
     
  17. Scrap

    Scrap Hall Of Famer

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    I work a structured living pod, which is where they go after ad seg. They have to remain charge free for 90 days on my pod before they go back to general population. They all know I'm a Dolphins fan, so the hook me up when they see the scores or highlights. I got the 7-6 update as well. There's one guy who is a Patriots fan. I keep telling him I'm going to have to write him a charge for that. lol
     
  18. Vaark

    Vaark Nihil taurus crappus Finheaven VIP Donator

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    So Goon can we accurately depict your day as "hob-knobbing" with the prisoners, eh?
     
  19. Scrap

    Scrap Hall Of Famer

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    It takes a whole lot more than you think. It's nothing like pushing paper, selling cars, or flipping burgers for a living. It takes very thick skin, and the good ones have highly developed people skills. As a corrections officer, we serve somewhat as both a cop and as a counselor. They say that every year we work is like doing 6 months in prison. I've heard several police officers tell me they could never do it. I've heard of police officers turning away at the front entry when they found out they couldn't bring in their guns. Trust me, it's more than just your 9-5.
     
  20. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    It's who I am and it's what I do. It wasn't a sacrifice when I was a soldier. I chose what I did as a profession. I chose
    that my life was to kill people and break things. I didn't care much for higher learning, though I think I'm pretty
    intelligent and have a good parent. After pretty much a life of being in charge of stuff, and working on contract...
    A state job, which has a reasonable pension still, allows me to be who I am (I'm sort of........Your best friend.....
    ....But not that....actually, I'm nobody's friend.) is a heaven sent. I'm sort of bitching about it, but really, it's
    the best gig I've had in a while.

    There really isn't that much out there for me.

    I can only match colors in earth tones.

    Thanks for compressing GoonBoss in a bottle, though man. Buzzkill.

    ---------- Post added at 09:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 PM ----------

    I don't think he meant it as a bad thing.

    ---------- Post added at 09:03 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:02 PM ----------

    I don't even know what to say.

    If you mean...

    "Haveing really hot gay homosexual sex with the prisoners"?

    No. It wasn't that.
     
  21. Scrap

    Scrap Hall Of Famer

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    I really wasn't upset at it. I just don't think everyone understands the role of a corrections officer. A lot of people watch tv, and think we stand in one spot all day and scratch our asses...lol....or in your case, look at balls and buttholes....LoL.
     
  22. ojmcduffy

    ojmcduffy Seasoned Veteran

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    goon i am glad the dolphins won. I am also glad that the win has brought joy into your life. I am also sorry you have to look at other guys junk ,and that's from the heart bro.
     
  23. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    That made me cry a little.
     
  24. PJack

    PJack A True Fan

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    Comment was more in jest as Goon related the Dolphins poor record was a result of his viewing of the games. Often feel the same way when I watch any of my teams play.

    The "sacrifice" was not watching the game which undoubtedly led to a Phins win, not his choice of career.
     
  25. GoonBoss

    GoonBoss Finheaven Templar Super Donator Donator

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    Thank you for the context, and understanding the complicated thread structure I'm building here.
     

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