"Culture Change": Mustache=Wins?!?

Discussion in 'Miami Dolphins Forum' started by VandyLaw, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. VandyLaw

    VandyLaw 99 Problems...

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    I posted this analysis in the VIP forums in a thread by inFINSible featuring a frighteningly hilarious amalgam picture of Sparano and The Wannstache. I'm putting it up here also, because frankly, I think it's the single most encouraging aspect of the Sparano hire. I want you all to be able to share in my excitement!

    Folks, I think we're all missing the big, hairy picture. Forget the havoc that the Wannstache wreaked on the Dolphins future in his personnel capacity. It's irrelevant. Sparano isn't going to have that kind of authority. We need to focus on what Wannstache accomplished as a coach. Specifically, he was the last winning coach of our Miami Dolphins. And, not coincidentally, the last Dolphins head coach with a mustache!

    I've done a quick and dirty study on the recent success of NFL head coaches with cookie dusters. The results and recent trends are rather encouraging. Two years ago, both Super Bowl head coaches sported upper lip plumage! And last year, a mustachioed coach won the Super Bowl, making it two consecutive years. Unfortunately, we can't expect a Mustache Threepeat this season, unless Belichick, Coughlin, or McCarthy grow one before the Big Game (I don't think Norv is up to the task).

    The lesson here: fear not the inevitable Wanny/Sparano 'stache comparisons. Focus on the positive: Head coaches with soup strainers are proven winners!

    Tony Dungy
    Regular Season: 127-65
    Postseason: 9-9 (Super Bowl 1-0)

    Bill Cowher
    Regular Season: 149-90-1
    Postseason: 12-9 (Super Bowl 1-1)

    Mike Holmgren

    Regular Season: 157-99
    Postseason: 13-11 (Super Bowl 1-2)

    Jeff Fisher

    Regular Season: 115-99
    Postseason: 5-5 (Super Bowl 0-1)

    Andy Reid
    Regular Season: 88-56
    Postseason: 8-6 (Super Bowl 0-1)

    Herm Edwards
    Regular Season: 52-60
    Postseason: 2-4

    Romeo Crennel

    Regular Season: 20-28
    Postseason: 0-0

    Brad Childress

    Regular Season: 14-18
    Postseason: 0-0

    David Raymond Wannstedt
    Regular Season: 82-87 (42-31 with the Dolphins, including 3 1st Place AFC East finishes)
    Postseason: 2-3
    Wanny Note: The man is much reviled here, as well he should be for his personnel incompetence. But let's face it, if Sparano can put together a run of 11, 11, 9 and 10 wins in consecutive seasons with 3 Division Championships, we'll be falling all over ourselves to kiss his mustachioed rump.

    Total
    Regular Season: 804-602-1 (.571, above 9 wins per year on average)
    Postseason: 51-47
    Super Bowl Appearances: 8 (3 NFL Championships)
     
  2. SabanHater

    SabanHater ***** in the House!

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    cookie dusters, lip plumage, and soup strainers.....

    nice! lol.
     
  3. dolpns13

    dolpns13 Chest Rockwell is my hero Donator

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    haha, thats great!
     
  4. Phinfantic

    Phinfantic FinHeaven VIP

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    Funny thread ! As long as we start winning again, maybe we can get the rest of the front office people to grow them too. :lol:
     
  5. MrTree

    MrTree Wordslinger

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    I'm going to grow a mustache now!

    [​IMG]
     

    Attached Files:

  6. Dol_Fan_4_Ever

    Dol_Fan_4_Ever Future 1st Rounder

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    I do like those stats, however I hope that Sparano doesn't have the same Wanny incompetence and fall on his face after the 5th year. I don't see it happening because Parcells would reem him for it.
     
  7. finsmx

    finsmx Perennial All-Pro

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    :lol: Same here!
     
  8. endorPHINS72

    endorPHINS72 Restore the greatness!

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    Good post, dude! Now maybe if he Sparano can hire Tom Selleck as offensive coordinator we'll be good to go! LOL
     
  9. VandyLaw

    VandyLaw 99 Problems...

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    Awesome. The Magnum Offense would run like a fine-tuned Ferrari. Fellow 'staches TC for defensive coordinator and Higgins for special teams coach.
     
  10. SabanHater

    SabanHater ***** in the House!

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    my waitress at Applebees the other day had a stash. A dark one too!


    I ordered water.
     
  11. Phinfantic

    Phinfantic FinHeaven VIP

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    :lol::lol::lol:
     

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