It's that time of year again. Time to bust out the old roasting pan and say despicable, awful, horrible things about every team in the college football Top 25. Join me, won't you? Please note: The following guide contains words, which may be an issue for those of you who attend Auburn. As a safety precaution, I suggest you Auburn fans go back to watering plastic Christmas trees and trying to impregnate your girlfriends through the butthole. Keep trying! YOUR POOPBABY WILL TAKE ROOT AT SOME POINT!
And what a great year for hating this will be! College football itself has never been so intolerable. It says a lot that a school like Miami can spend eight years throwing dong parties on yachts and the only people shocked by such malfeasance are members of the news media. OMG! Hookers? In Miami? NO ****ING WAY. In fact, that's probably the LEAST ****ed up thing about college football right now. Everything about the sport is intractably corrupt. The coaches are corrupt. The boosters are corrupt. The schools are corrupt. The idiotic postseason is broken up into 35 separate retarded entities that are all INDIVIDUALLY corrupt. The governing body of the sport (the NCAA) is corrupt and is also so ****ed up that they don't really have any say over that same postseason, which makes no logical sense.
The networks are corrupt. Consider the progression of UT's Longhorn Network, which the school operates with the self-feeding **** demon that is ESPN. Bad enough that Texas got its own network (was CMT not enough for these folks?), which was basically akin to the rest of Big 12 allowing Texas to barge into their homes and **** on the furniture...
