- Joined
- May 20, 2007
- Messages
- 4,741
- Reaction score
- 4,237
Ok fellow Dolfans, here goes. Some of you may know my story, others do not. The fact is this team called the Miami Dolphins has consumed me in whole since I first watched Larry Csonka carry a football. I was 5 years old and completely sold on the Dolphins. I'm not going to sit here and say I am their biggest fan, but I will say I have a pretty good case to be near the top. I have been through the heartaches, the misery, the agonizing losses and the meltdowns. I have witnessed the jubilation, the huge wins, the shootouts and the celebrations. Being from Seattle originally, and moving to the midwest 11 years ago, I travel to games when I can. This is few and far between unfortunately. I have been a DirecTV subscriber for 12 years and I flat out DO NOT miss the Fins play live. Before being a subsciber, I hit the bar in Seattle every Sunday at 10am to watch their games on the Ticket. Before the Ticket, I lived for the 10 minute ticker on NBC (why the EFF did it never update every 10 minutes??). Before the 10 minute ticker, I lived for the Seahawks games ending early so NBC might just switch to the end of the Fins game. Before praying for NBC to switch, I lived for MNF highlights with Cosell to catch mere glimpses of my beloved Fins. Before MNF highlights, I read the Monday sports page so closely it was memorized - sometimes not knowing if the Fins had even won until reading the paper on Monday because I was so young and, well, no news, internet or cable meant no idea who won for a 9 year old boy going to bed at 8:30pm. Can you even imagine going to bed not knowing who won an afternoon game?
Simply put, I presently cannot even function in life if I am doing something else while the Fins are playing. Forget any other engagement, it just isn't happening. I am so strangely connected to this team that when Marino tore his right achilles in 1993, it was not more than two months later that I also completely tore my right achilles playing a sport. In all my years of active sports, I had never been injured - and haven't since then. My first daughter was born on September 10, 1995. Guess what day that fell on? Sunday. Oh and the Fins are playing as my wife is in labor. Thank God the delivery room had a TV - it was against the Patriots for Gods sake. And the Fins won.
To set the stage, let me discuss a few of the notable personal Fins disasters I have been through with this team - you all know these well if you are long time fans...
- Raiders beating the Fins in 1975 with Stabler falling down as Miami loses a chance for the three-peat (my baptism into Dolphin agony)
- WFL defections of Csonka and others (I considered switching teams at this point, but that lasted one week into the next season)
- Fins losing Super Bowl to Washington in 1982 after leading 17-10 at the half; Riggins goes wild, Don McNeal can't tackle with his arm cast - complete devastation afterward and I am still not over this game
- Fins lose Super Bowl to 49'ers in blowout proportion, Marino vs Montana
- San Diego beating Miami in the playoffs 41-38 as Winslow catches about 15 balls and blocks two Von Schamann field goals; I cried like a pansy after that game I was so mentally and physically drained
- Fins lose snowplow game 3-0 to Patriots; I learn to hate the Pats and every thread of their being after this game
- Fins losing AFC championship game at home to Patriots in 1986 after going 14-2
- Fins losing AFC championship game to Bills in 1992, also at home
- Jimmy's last stand: 62-7 loss to Jags; the devastation of Marino going out like that will never be forgotten
- Jets come back on Monday night miracle to beat the Fins after trailing 30-7; I did not sleep that night and was shot for a month after
- Wannstedt and the Fins blow last game of year to Patriots in 2002 and miss playoffs; my God that game still hurts
- 4-12 in 2004 as Wanny resigns
- The Saban debacle
- The Cameron debacle and 1-15; I had become a whipped dog by last season and just took the beat downs without anger, but still watching in full every week as the team had no heart or pulse
Please do not think I am only focusing on the negative. I could list the positives just as easily. I merely needed to set the stage of the grief I have endured as a fan for 37 years. These are just a few of the absolute disasters that have made me shed blood, sweat and tears for so long - there are many more, but these pop out to me as I write this.
Now let's fast forward to last Sunday. I am a grown man clearly, with three kids and a wife who tolerate but not completely understand my disease. The kids even comfort me and watch with me now (in sporadic fashion), especially my 8 year old son who is falling into the same world I did at his age - complete addiction to the NFL. So it is the biggest game I can remember in forever, the hated Jets and all the subplots of Favre and Pennington, Giants stadium and the fact it was December and the glass slipper would surely break. I mean seriously, wasn't it always the player who Miami discarded that came back to beat the Fins? Would that really EVER happen in reverse? I mean hell, even Culpepper beat the Fins and we only had him 4 games. My God, would it ever end?
All week I strangely dreaded the Jets game. Not because I thought Miami could not win, not because of lack of confidence, but because of years (decades) of being let down in the huge game. It was like an albatross, a curse around me. Somehow, I felt the curse needed to be broken. The curse that everyone (players, fans alike) just said EFF THIS, IT IS TIME MIAMI STOOD UP AT THE KEY MOMENT AND EFFING GOT IT DONE. But how to break the curse?
I wrestled with it all week. And as gametime approached, I knew what had to be done. I knew there was only one solution. I needed to go into seclusion. Now keep in mind, I am not a devoutly religious man. Raised Catholic, I have said my share of Hail Mary's but I am not devout. But I knew I had to break the curse, at least in my own mind. So I left the house 10 minutes before kickoff of the Jets game after setting the DVR. My family was completely baffled as I walked out - Dad missing a Fins game? Are you kidding me? Where is he going?? I will tell you where. To the Catholic church.
Now keep in mind I had my blackberry with me, but vowed to myself I would not answer one phone call or log in to check one score for 3 hours and 15 minutes. The phone sat on silent. I sat in the 10th row, right aisle. The 10 was for Pennington - it was his vindication day (would it also be mine?) - and the right side because all had to be right on this day. I lit a candle - first row, tenth candle in. First row for first place, 10th candle for Pennington leading us to the division. I sat in that pew for 3 hours and 15 minutes doing nothing but praying, mostly repeating silent Hail Mary's non-stop, to break my curse. The curse I knew was in my head and I could not shake. The curse of being shot down so many times in the crucial moment.
At exactly 6:30 pm Central time, 3 hours and 15 minutes past kickoff, I got up from the pew of an empty Catholic church not knowing one thing that had happened in the Jets-Fins game. I drove home and within 10 minutes I walked in my door to my kids running up to me screaming how the Dolphins won the game, hugging me and telling me it was alright. My wife just looked at me like I had lost it, which I probably had, but I knew the monkey had to get off my back, our backs, the Dolphin organization's back. This was my way of dealing with it. I cannot even describe the feeling of walking in that door to hear the outcome of the biggest game in years without knowing one single thing that had happened. The feeling I had upon hearing the score of 24-17 was indescribable. I had an instant feeling of the curse lifting from my shoulders.
Will I ever do that again? Probably not, but that is okay. I do not anticipate missing another game for another 37 years, if ever. I do know that I feel free, the feeling that the curse has finally been broken. Does this mean Super Bowl? Maybe, maybe not. Like everything ahead of us, it is unknown. I can only descibe the feeling as being lost on a long country road in the rain, and coming around a turn to see the clouds breaking and the sun starting to shine through. Are we still lost? Maybe. But now we have hope.
And now my friends, its playoff time. Count me as one who will be watching every play.
Why not us?
Go Dolphins. Forever.
Simply put, I presently cannot even function in life if I am doing something else while the Fins are playing. Forget any other engagement, it just isn't happening. I am so strangely connected to this team that when Marino tore his right achilles in 1993, it was not more than two months later that I also completely tore my right achilles playing a sport. In all my years of active sports, I had never been injured - and haven't since then. My first daughter was born on September 10, 1995. Guess what day that fell on? Sunday. Oh and the Fins are playing as my wife is in labor. Thank God the delivery room had a TV - it was against the Patriots for Gods sake. And the Fins won.
To set the stage, let me discuss a few of the notable personal Fins disasters I have been through with this team - you all know these well if you are long time fans...
- Raiders beating the Fins in 1975 with Stabler falling down as Miami loses a chance for the three-peat (my baptism into Dolphin agony)
- WFL defections of Csonka and others (I considered switching teams at this point, but that lasted one week into the next season)
- Fins losing Super Bowl to Washington in 1982 after leading 17-10 at the half; Riggins goes wild, Don McNeal can't tackle with his arm cast - complete devastation afterward and I am still not over this game
- Fins lose Super Bowl to 49'ers in blowout proportion, Marino vs Montana
- San Diego beating Miami in the playoffs 41-38 as Winslow catches about 15 balls and blocks two Von Schamann field goals; I cried like a pansy after that game I was so mentally and physically drained
- Fins lose snowplow game 3-0 to Patriots; I learn to hate the Pats and every thread of their being after this game
- Fins losing AFC championship game at home to Patriots in 1986 after going 14-2
- Fins losing AFC championship game to Bills in 1992, also at home
- Jimmy's last stand: 62-7 loss to Jags; the devastation of Marino going out like that will never be forgotten
- Jets come back on Monday night miracle to beat the Fins after trailing 30-7; I did not sleep that night and was shot for a month after
- Wannstedt and the Fins blow last game of year to Patriots in 2002 and miss playoffs; my God that game still hurts
- 4-12 in 2004 as Wanny resigns
- The Saban debacle
- The Cameron debacle and 1-15; I had become a whipped dog by last season and just took the beat downs without anger, but still watching in full every week as the team had no heart or pulse
Please do not think I am only focusing on the negative. I could list the positives just as easily. I merely needed to set the stage of the grief I have endured as a fan for 37 years. These are just a few of the absolute disasters that have made me shed blood, sweat and tears for so long - there are many more, but these pop out to me as I write this.
Now let's fast forward to last Sunday. I am a grown man clearly, with three kids and a wife who tolerate but not completely understand my disease. The kids even comfort me and watch with me now (in sporadic fashion), especially my 8 year old son who is falling into the same world I did at his age - complete addiction to the NFL. So it is the biggest game I can remember in forever, the hated Jets and all the subplots of Favre and Pennington, Giants stadium and the fact it was December and the glass slipper would surely break. I mean seriously, wasn't it always the player who Miami discarded that came back to beat the Fins? Would that really EVER happen in reverse? I mean hell, even Culpepper beat the Fins and we only had him 4 games. My God, would it ever end?
All week I strangely dreaded the Jets game. Not because I thought Miami could not win, not because of lack of confidence, but because of years (decades) of being let down in the huge game. It was like an albatross, a curse around me. Somehow, I felt the curse needed to be broken. The curse that everyone (players, fans alike) just said EFF THIS, IT IS TIME MIAMI STOOD UP AT THE KEY MOMENT AND EFFING GOT IT DONE. But how to break the curse?
I wrestled with it all week. And as gametime approached, I knew what had to be done. I knew there was only one solution. I needed to go into seclusion. Now keep in mind, I am not a devoutly religious man. Raised Catholic, I have said my share of Hail Mary's but I am not devout. But I knew I had to break the curse, at least in my own mind. So I left the house 10 minutes before kickoff of the Jets game after setting the DVR. My family was completely baffled as I walked out - Dad missing a Fins game? Are you kidding me? Where is he going?? I will tell you where. To the Catholic church.
Now keep in mind I had my blackberry with me, but vowed to myself I would not answer one phone call or log in to check one score for 3 hours and 15 minutes. The phone sat on silent. I sat in the 10th row, right aisle. The 10 was for Pennington - it was his vindication day (would it also be mine?) - and the right side because all had to be right on this day. I lit a candle - first row, tenth candle in. First row for first place, 10th candle for Pennington leading us to the division. I sat in that pew for 3 hours and 15 minutes doing nothing but praying, mostly repeating silent Hail Mary's non-stop, to break my curse. The curse I knew was in my head and I could not shake. The curse of being shot down so many times in the crucial moment.
At exactly 6:30 pm Central time, 3 hours and 15 minutes past kickoff, I got up from the pew of an empty Catholic church not knowing one thing that had happened in the Jets-Fins game. I drove home and within 10 minutes I walked in my door to my kids running up to me screaming how the Dolphins won the game, hugging me and telling me it was alright. My wife just looked at me like I had lost it, which I probably had, but I knew the monkey had to get off my back, our backs, the Dolphin organization's back. This was my way of dealing with it. I cannot even describe the feeling of walking in that door to hear the outcome of the biggest game in years without knowing one single thing that had happened. The feeling I had upon hearing the score of 24-17 was indescribable. I had an instant feeling of the curse lifting from my shoulders.
Will I ever do that again? Probably not, but that is okay. I do not anticipate missing another game for another 37 years, if ever. I do know that I feel free, the feeling that the curse has finally been broken. Does this mean Super Bowl? Maybe, maybe not. Like everything ahead of us, it is unknown. I can only descibe the feeling as being lost on a long country road in the rain, and coming around a turn to see the clouds breaking and the sun starting to shine through. Are we still lost? Maybe. But now we have hope.
And now my friends, its playoff time. Count me as one who will be watching every play.
Why not us?
Go Dolphins. Forever.
