Dan Campbell: the new Chuck Norris | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

Dan Campbell: the new Chuck Norris

K-Rob

K-Rob

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I don't know much about this guy but, damn, he seems like the kind of guy you make Chuck Norris jokes about.

Dan Campbell's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried before.


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Dan Campbell's dog picks up his own poop, because Dan Campbell doesn't take **** from anyone.
 
Dan Campbell once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
 
If you spell Dan Campbell in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Dan Campbell destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
 
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Dan Campbell hasn't killed.
 
The boogeyman checks under his bed at night to make sure Dan Campbell isn't
under there.....
 
“He once punched a hole in a cow just so he could see who was coming up the road.”(Bill Brasky)
 
The only flavor of fruit spread Dan Campbell can tolerate is blackberry.

...

Am I doing it rite?
 
When Dan Campbell's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
 
Dan Campbell built the hospital he was born in.


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When Dan Campbell does a push-up he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.
 
Dan Campbell does not do sleeves in cold weather, as we learned via this quote by Jason Witten back when the two were teammates in Dallas:
“Football ain’t meant to be played like that,” Witten said of the sleeves. “I don’t know. I do bundle up over there on the bench though. Nah, I don’t let that get in the way. I mean, there is something to be said when you’re out there playing, you’ve got to not wear sleeves. I think Dan Campbell taught me that pretty early in the career.”
 
Dan Campbell once walked into a town with an erection ...there were no survivors.
 
Dan Campbell doesn't dial wrong numbers...you picked up the wrong phone.
 
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