I have not seen this posted. I thought it was pretty funny actually.
http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/story/572700.html
http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/story/572700.html
(Merged)Sarcastic read about the Phins
- Thread starter NY8123
- Start date
feelthepain
☠️ Banned ☠️
I realize the word "sarcastic" was in the title of this thread, but who says "lineperson"? Sounds like this article was written by someone who's job it is to cover South Florida's art deco lifestyle, not South Florida sports.
TableFin
Football Guru
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
moonman
>tfw dolphins fan
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2008
- Messages
- 1,155
- Reaction score
- 32
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I lol'd pretty good, myself.
Dude...that was hysterical!
Dave Barry is a humor columist.
emocomputerjock
With stolen wings and evil ways
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2006
- Messages
- 2,575
- Reaction score
- 1
Dave Barry. He's kind of a big deal. He was played by Harry Anderson on TV.
NWFLJoe
VIPs: better looking than the riff raff
Dave Barry mocking political correct-speak to de-genderize terms. Firefighter...Congressperson...Lineperson...
And if you like Dave Barry, check out Tim Dorsey. Funny, funny cat...
NWFLJoe
VIPs: better looking than the riff raff
Also referred to as "the Joey Harrington era"...
Funny Dave Barry article on the Dolphins
I decided to go scout the Miami Dolphins on Monday, to see how they look this year. This is important, because the Dolphins represent South Florida's manhood, and last season we had the same community testosterone level as the audience for a Barbra Streisand concert. The Dolphins lost 15 games and won only one, which I believe was against Princeton.
Taylor is, of course, the Dolphins' star lineperson. He's also considering a career in show business, since he has the kind of chiseled GQ-style looks and big muscles that my wife has repeatedly assured me she does not find attractive.
The Big Tuna is Bill Parcells, who got his nickname from the fact that he breathes through gills and can weigh up to 1,400 pounds. He is the Dolphins' Executive Vice President of Football Operations, which means he runs the team from a secret underground bunker furnished entirely with game-worn jockstraps. The Tuna is a gruff, old-school football guy. He is very hard-nosed.
Q. How hard-nosed is he?
A. He makes Don Shula look like Barry Manilow.
The Tuna reportedly was unhappy about the fact that Taylor competed this season on Dancing with the Stars, where he finished second to figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi. This in itself shows you how far the Dolphins have fallen since their glory days. There is no way that, say, Larry Csonka would have let that happen. The Zonk would have found a way to beat Kristi, maybe with an ''accidental'' forearm to the chops during the rumba competition. Those guys just knew how to win.
BACK TO THE FEUD
But getting back to the Tuna-Taylor feud: It got even more feudal when Taylor, during a break from dancing, visited Dolphins training camp and felt that he was snubbed by the Tuna. The Tuna later emerged from his bunker to claim that there was no snub, that in fact he didn't even know Taylor was in the room because he (the Tuna) wasn't wearing his hearing aids. I am not making any of this up. I heard the Taylor-Tuna-snub-vs.-hearing-aid story being hotly debated for two solid days on sports-talk radio. This is what Dolphins fans have been reduced to.
http://www.miamiherald.com/614/story/572700.html
I decided to go scout the Miami Dolphins on Monday, to see how they look this year. This is important, because the Dolphins represent South Florida's manhood, and last season we had the same community testosterone level as the audience for a Barbra Streisand concert. The Dolphins lost 15 games and won only one, which I believe was against Princeton.
Taylor is, of course, the Dolphins' star lineperson. He's also considering a career in show business, since he has the kind of chiseled GQ-style looks and big muscles that my wife has repeatedly assured me she does not find attractive.
The Big Tuna is Bill Parcells, who got his nickname from the fact that he breathes through gills and can weigh up to 1,400 pounds. He is the Dolphins' Executive Vice President of Football Operations, which means he runs the team from a secret underground bunker furnished entirely with game-worn jockstraps. The Tuna is a gruff, old-school football guy. He is very hard-nosed.
Q. How hard-nosed is he?
A. He makes Don Shula look like Barry Manilow.
The Tuna reportedly was unhappy about the fact that Taylor competed this season on Dancing with the Stars, where he finished second to figure skater Kristi Yamaguchi. This in itself shows you how far the Dolphins have fallen since their glory days. There is no way that, say, Larry Csonka would have let that happen. The Zonk would have found a way to beat Kristi, maybe with an ''accidental'' forearm to the chops during the rumba competition. Those guys just knew how to win.
BACK TO THE FEUD
But getting back to the Tuna-Taylor feud: It got even more feudal when Taylor, during a break from dancing, visited Dolphins training camp and felt that he was snubbed by the Tuna. The Tuna later emerged from his bunker to claim that there was no snub, that in fact he didn't even know Taylor was in the room because he (the Tuna) wasn't wearing his hearing aids. I am not making any of this up. I heard the Taylor-Tuna-snub-vs.-hearing-aid story being hotly debated for two solid days on sports-talk radio. This is what Dolphins fans have been reduced to.
http://www.miamiherald.com/614/story/572700.html