Funny golf slang
A ‘Rock Hudson’ or A ‘Tom Cruise’ : a putt that looks straight, but it clearly isn’t
“Every frickin’ putt I’ve had today has been a Rock Hudson.”
An ‘Osama Bin Laden’ or A ‘Saddam Hussein’ : going from one bunker to another
“I bet you 10 bucks that Bob pulls a Bin Laden from that sand trap.”
A ‘Rodney King’ : over-clubbed
“I was so determined not to come up short that I Rodney King’d that 5 iron.”
An ‘Al Qaeda Camel’ : in the sand and sure to get f*cked
“Way to hit it into the short-sided pot bunker, you Al Qaeda Camel.”
An ‘O.J. Simpson’ : getting away with one
“Nice shot, OJ. Right off the trees and back into the fairway.”
A ‘Kelly Clarkson’ : chunky, but still working
“I Kelly Clarkson’d the hell outta my 8 iron, but I’m sitting just short of the green.”
A ‘Muhammed Ali’ : when you’re shaking over an important putt
“Did you see Joe pull a Muhammed Ali over that birdie putt?”
A ‘German Virgin’ : guten tight (that’s ‘good and tight’ for the phonetically challenged)
“You’re gonna like where that wedge ended up. It’s a real German Virgin.”
A ‘Rosie O’Donnell’ : just plain fat
“Sonnovabitch, another f*cking Rosie O’Donnell!”
A ‘Condom’ : it’s safe, but it didn’t feel very good
“I caught that condom right on the heel.”
A ‘Beyonce’ : a bit chunky, but still on the dance floor
“Stellar Beyonce, there Ricky. But I think you’re on the front edge of the green.”
A ‘Nursing Home Bus Crash’: a whole lotta nasty breaks
“I would’ve shot a 82 if it weren’t for the Nursing Home Bus Crash on the last 3 holes.”
A ‘Paris Hilton’: spoiled; wasted a good opportunity
“After bombing my drive I proceeded to Paris Hilton my approach shot.”
An ‘Elephant’s A$$hole’: it’s high and it stinks (usually for popped up drives)
“Wow, that’s a real Elephant’s A$$hole if I’ve ever seen one.”
A ‘Gay Midget’s Mouth’: it’s low and it sucks
“That bladed 7 iron reminds me of a Gay Midget’s Mouth.”
A ‘Danny DeVito’: an ugly little five footer
“I’ve got a Danny DeVito left to save double.”
A ‘Joe Pesci’: a mean little five footer
See above
A ‘Sonny Bono’: straight into the trees
“I snap hooked my drive on #2, Sonny Bono style.”
An ‘Elton John’: a big bender that lips the rim
“Man, I almost dropped that Elton John on #4 for a birdie.”
A ‘Pat Sajak’: too much spin
“I thought I had the perfect wedge in there, but I got screwed by Pat Sajak.”