Here it is in a nutshell...
When as he puts it buying the groceries Parcells just isn't that good! He had no control with the Giants and those were his best years, the lack of power in New York is why he tried to leave the Giants. To bad for him the Commish Rosenthal was not keen on his baby games and told him you signed a contract fulfill it! His Patriot years while buying the groceries were nothing more then mediocrity, and when new owner Robert Kraft saw the game changing the need for speed, and Parcells stuck in the dated philosophy. Kraft took the power from Parcells. This is when his infamous phrase "if they want you to cook the dinner the least they can do is let you buy the groceries" was born. Krafts vision lead the Patriots to their first ever Superbowl, while Parcells typical to his ego driven spoiled brat self started circulating the rumors he was leaving New England. On to the Jets and total control, he won the hearts of the fans with a brilliant first season and the hopes of a Superbowl, well 3 total seasons, a roster full of big slow players, and failure Tuna bolts New York. Dallas calls and fresh off a divorce divested of the majority of his lives work Parcells signs a mega deal to return the Cowboys to glory! Well the owner coach battle brews right away when Parcells the self proclaimed draft expert wants to draft Spears over Ware. Owner wins selects Ware and then Spears several selections later. Parcells just couldn't believe another owner was trying to force him to build speed, dozens of battles later without a bit of success Parcells leaves. Each side claims it was of their own decision, while Jones was caught on camera saying Parcells is a overrated fraud(which he is right by the way)
Enter the Miami Dolphins, in the midst of a terrible season yet to win a game. A storied franchise that boast the winningest record in all if professional sports! The only NFL team to lay claim to the perfect season! A fan base hungry to claim their spot ontop the AFC East, choking on years of bad drafts and personnel decisions. Defunct of leadership new coach Cam Camoron is ruining the club. A wide eyed aggressive owner with deep pockets, but most important is known to give complete power to his football people and keep his checkbook open. This is the obvious choice for the Biggest Fraud, Smoke And Mirrors Mercenary in NFL history. So he signs a lucrative contract that gives him total control, but most important A Golden Parachute guaranteeing 100% payment regardless off results!
Most Dolphin fans jump for joy! The Finheaven server crashes from thread after thread laying claim to the Lombardi Trophy. The trifecta is assembled what a winning crew a young up and coming assistant coach fresh off of having his play calling duties stripped from him and Dallas! A bold GM that has never done more then talent scout all lead by Tuna and his mighty one playoff win while buying the groceries! The trifecta waste no time going to work and the 3yr plan is born, a commitment of being the biggest slowest ground and pound cornfed team the NFL has ever seen.
Ireland and Sparano aren't any good! They most certainly aren't anything special! They are simply F.O.B(friends of Bill), but most important they are yes men! They were carefully selected because not only would they go along with the Parcells way, but like sheep they will take the blame for the failure!
