Good questions.
I'm not sure there is a right answer, because everyone has an opinion of what it really means and its a grey area. Here's my thoughts.
No, to me the purpose of tanking is to get a top draft pick, ideally THE top draft pick, #1 overall, to draft our cornerstone franchise QB. To do that we're going to lose a lot of games. But, seldom does a team with the top pick not win any games, so I'm aiming for somewhere between 1 and 3 wins ideally, with 4 probably putting us within striking range of the top 3, which is where we need to be to get our QB.
How we lose? Well, I'm prepared for cringe-worthy, but I'm hoping for not eating a lot of forty-burgers or 3 TD losses, but I know they're coming. It's hard to accept being bad, but to tank, we need to be bad, so I'm not really focusing on scores and margins of loss, just the big picture of how we are setting up (both in the draft and through player development) for an ascendant 2020. Competitive every game or losing most games by less than 3 points really isn't realistic if we're tanking. That margin for error probably means we win 5 or so games and completely mess up the whole tanking thing and waste the entire season. So, I'm braced for not being very competitive. Honestly, I've had lots of practice being a Dolphins fan, it'll just be in more concentrated doses this year.
Struggling is OK, I'm not looking at us as a whole, I'm looking at us as a collection of individuals. I'm hoping we show improved fundamentals. I'm looking for individual improvement as the season progresses. I'm looking for the few good players who will be with us for the long haul.
Honestly, I'm expecting the coaching staff to tank, that means they're going to actively make sure we do not win close games. They can't admit it, but wasting time outs early and not having them when you need them for a comeback seems like a reasonable way to reduce your chances of winning a close game. We're not going to tank if we're effective on 3rd down and in the red zone. I'm not looking for coaches to make great adjustments … because the talent level is too close in the NFL, if they do that, we'll win a few and mess up the entire tanking.
It's going to be painful, no doubt. But there is a process. We NEED a cornerstone franchise QB. We haven't had one since Marino. We've tried drafting them in the 2nd round (Chad Henne, Pat White, John Beck), we've tried drafting them later (please don't make me list these names … it's painful). The last time we screwed up tanking we missed out on Andrew Luck and took the #3 QB with the 8th overall pick … Ryan Tannehill. This time, I want the best prospect.
Looking at recent drafts it's ugly. The Eagles traded a LOT to move up and get Carson Wentz. The Rams traded away a LOT to go get Jared Goff. The Bears traded away a LOT to secure Mitchell Trubisky. Look at the last decent QB draft, Baker Mayfield shot up the charts from being considered a 2nd round pick at this point of the offseason to the #1 overall pick, and a good one. Sam Darnold went high, Josh Allen went high, and even Josh Rosen went fairly high … and this was in a year that had 4 legitimate QB candidates, 5 if you include Lamar Jackson (different type of QB). So, who knows where Kyler Murray will end up this year, and if he even plays football, and if he can stay healthy at his size and playstyle.
So I understand and approve of tanking … we need to tear this down so we can build it back with a strong foundation. Yes, it's going to hurt … a lot.