randomname
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- May 2, 2010
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And if there is a god he ****ing hates us.
The Dolphins always do just good enough to get your hopes up. And then they **** it up. Every time. It will never end. It's a continual cycle of sucktitude where the only slivers of success are for nothing more than to set you up for the inevitable heartbreak.
When they do something right, they always do something else wrong, but worse. When they start a season or a game well, they end it horribly, often times with sheer levels of incompetence never before seen in this world. When they start horribly, they bring up their level of play to make you think "what if" - "what if" they weren't complete ****ing buffoons before they started playing like they actually wanted to win.
When the ball bounces their way, they promptly fumble it right back to the football gods.
When the stars align, they run the other way and dig their heads in the sand in an incredible attempt to avoid their good fortune.
When things are looking up, when they look like they're finally turning the corner, they embarrass themselves in the most pathetic manner possible.
The Miami Dolphins are the definition of mediocrity. But not the good mediocrity. Not the kind where you pat them on the back and say "Good job, you tried". No, they're the wildly incompetent kind of mediocre that manages to look good every once in a while, just to make the disappointment we, the fans, who make the horrible mistake of getting emotionally involved with the team, have to face even worse. The kind that makes you think you always have a chance. That there's hope. But there's no hope. They will **** it up every single time. EVERY - SINGLE - TIME.
If you think they didn't **** it up, it only means you haven't finished watching yet. Because they WILL **** it up. Somehow. They will find a way. Just when it hurts the most. You know it's coming. You try to believe it's not true, but it is. It's coming. And it will always come. Because the Miami Dolphins are a cosmic joke used to punish Dolphins fans for the grievous crimes they committed in their past lives.
The Dolphins always do just good enough to get your hopes up. And then they **** it up. Every time. It will never end. It's a continual cycle of sucktitude where the only slivers of success are for nothing more than to set you up for the inevitable heartbreak.
When they do something right, they always do something else wrong, but worse. When they start a season or a game well, they end it horribly, often times with sheer levels of incompetence never before seen in this world. When they start horribly, they bring up their level of play to make you think "what if" - "what if" they weren't complete ****ing buffoons before they started playing like they actually wanted to win.
When the ball bounces their way, they promptly fumble it right back to the football gods.
When the stars align, they run the other way and dig their heads in the sand in an incredible attempt to avoid their good fortune.
When things are looking up, when they look like they're finally turning the corner, they embarrass themselves in the most pathetic manner possible.
The Miami Dolphins are the definition of mediocrity. But not the good mediocrity. Not the kind where you pat them on the back and say "Good job, you tried". No, they're the wildly incompetent kind of mediocre that manages to look good every once in a while, just to make the disappointment we, the fans, who make the horrible mistake of getting emotionally involved with the team, have to face even worse. The kind that makes you think you always have a chance. That there's hope. But there's no hope. They will **** it up every single time. EVERY - SINGLE - TIME.
If you think they didn't **** it up, it only means you haven't finished watching yet. Because they WILL **** it up. Somehow. They will find a way. Just when it hurts the most. You know it's coming. You try to believe it's not true, but it is. It's coming. And it will always come. Because the Miami Dolphins are a cosmic joke used to punish Dolphins fans for the grievous crimes they committed in their past lives.
