SkapePhin
☠️ Banned ☠️
- Joined
- May 20, 2002
- Messages
- 43,879
- Reaction score
- 12,965
I immediately took a liking to Ricky once he landed in Miami. I didnt know much about him before, but once I heard his story, and his struggles I could see much of myself within his personality. Behavior which appears odd to the oustide world is just an outward expression of inner self-doubt. When you dont feel comfortable in your own skin, you do things that just seem weird to other people..
Like Williams, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by certain social situations. And I feel I have an understanding as to why and how he quit.
Anxiety is a funny thing.. Its a slow process.. You feel it in your gut. I builds gradually, the pressure becomes greater.. Its normally something you fear the outcome of or the situation itself, so you put it off.. You try to postpone the inevitable.. But the anxiety is there.. Its as if you are one of those squeezy stress balls and the people and situations around you are the hand squeezing it to its limit.. These forces sometimes feel overwhelming. For me, these situations have happened most often with school..
Although this is not an example of social anxiety per se, it is anxiety. Ive often had deadlines for papers, or a test that I should be studying for.. I know I need to study for it. I know that if I dont and mess it up I will be letting myself down, as well as my family.. I put it off a little, procrastinate, but its always in the back of your mind.. yet, you just cant bring yourself to do it..Its as if something in you is just blocking you from physically completing this task you know you need to do. So what happens.. The last possible second I scramble to do something... This normally means waking up at 4am to finish a 10 page paper for a 9 am class.. not real smart, I know better, but for some reason I can not finish this simple task in a normal fashion. This is anxiety.. Then, you fear the consequences of your irrespoinsible actions.. so what do you do? You avoid it. You try not to think about it.. you dont ask for the grades.. You brush off any questions about your progress.. You are in denial..
Now for social situations, the second you walk into a room you feel as if everyone is looking at you, pickin you apart in their minds. "What are they thinking of me?" constantly runs through your head, even though there is truly nothing to worry about. What occurs is that your mind betrays you.. Constantly filling your head with doubts, scenarios, possible bad outcomes... So you freeze, you stumble, you avoid the situation..
This is what happens with anxiety, and particularly social anxiety you just do not want to confront others that you feel you have let down in some way.. You do not want to place yourself in possibly awkward, harmful, uncomfortable situations. Cowardly, yes.. but it is almost without thought.. The pressure is making you act in this way.. What Ricky did was just that.. He ran.. He waited til the pressure (being drug allegations, stress toward upcoming season, etc) in him had peaked, cracked, and ran.. This is a direct result of his social anxiety problems imo.. I KNOW he feels terrible, but cant bring himself to correct it.
He says he wants anonynomity, yet he knows this will never happen.. Now he will just have infamy, which will be even worse for him to confront. He knows he let his teamates down, he knows he let his fans down, he knows he let his charities down, he knows he let himself down, but he fears that moment in which he would have to confront them all.. This, is why I feel he will not return..
Its really difficult to explain the conflicting emotions that come with severe anxiety.. but it is real and it can control a person to do things that they may not really wish to do..
IMO, this whole thing comes down to getting caught with his marijuana use, He knew that if he failed another he would let alot of people down, and the media crush would be unbearable.. He thought too much about it.. He feared this result and being there to confront it.. so he did what is instinctive, he ran, leaving the hopes and dreams of his teamates and a city in his wake.
(BTW, he has been off medication for awhile according to LeBatard)
Its truly a shame that his career had to end in this manner.. All the positive things he could have done with his notoriety are now all but gone.. He succumbed to his illness, and let it control him. Do not take this as an excuse, because it really isnt one, but maybe this will serve to help people better understand the situation.
Like Williams, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by certain social situations. And I feel I have an understanding as to why and how he quit.
Anxiety is a funny thing.. Its a slow process.. You feel it in your gut. I builds gradually, the pressure becomes greater.. Its normally something you fear the outcome of or the situation itself, so you put it off.. You try to postpone the inevitable.. But the anxiety is there.. Its as if you are one of those squeezy stress balls and the people and situations around you are the hand squeezing it to its limit.. These forces sometimes feel overwhelming. For me, these situations have happened most often with school..
Although this is not an example of social anxiety per se, it is anxiety. Ive often had deadlines for papers, or a test that I should be studying for.. I know I need to study for it. I know that if I dont and mess it up I will be letting myself down, as well as my family.. I put it off a little, procrastinate, but its always in the back of your mind.. yet, you just cant bring yourself to do it..Its as if something in you is just blocking you from physically completing this task you know you need to do. So what happens.. The last possible second I scramble to do something... This normally means waking up at 4am to finish a 10 page paper for a 9 am class.. not real smart, I know better, but for some reason I can not finish this simple task in a normal fashion. This is anxiety.. Then, you fear the consequences of your irrespoinsible actions.. so what do you do? You avoid it. You try not to think about it.. you dont ask for the grades.. You brush off any questions about your progress.. You are in denial..
Now for social situations, the second you walk into a room you feel as if everyone is looking at you, pickin you apart in their minds. "What are they thinking of me?" constantly runs through your head, even though there is truly nothing to worry about. What occurs is that your mind betrays you.. Constantly filling your head with doubts, scenarios, possible bad outcomes... So you freeze, you stumble, you avoid the situation..
This is what happens with anxiety, and particularly social anxiety you just do not want to confront others that you feel you have let down in some way.. You do not want to place yourself in possibly awkward, harmful, uncomfortable situations. Cowardly, yes.. but it is almost without thought.. The pressure is making you act in this way.. What Ricky did was just that.. He ran.. He waited til the pressure (being drug allegations, stress toward upcoming season, etc) in him had peaked, cracked, and ran.. This is a direct result of his social anxiety problems imo.. I KNOW he feels terrible, but cant bring himself to correct it.
He says he wants anonynomity, yet he knows this will never happen.. Now he will just have infamy, which will be even worse for him to confront. He knows he let his teamates down, he knows he let his fans down, he knows he let his charities down, he knows he let himself down, but he fears that moment in which he would have to confront them all.. This, is why I feel he will not return..
Its really difficult to explain the conflicting emotions that come with severe anxiety.. but it is real and it can control a person to do things that they may not really wish to do..
IMO, this whole thing comes down to getting caught with his marijuana use, He knew that if he failed another he would let alot of people down, and the media crush would be unbearable.. He thought too much about it.. He feared this result and being there to confront it.. so he did what is instinctive, he ran, leaving the hopes and dreams of his teamates and a city in his wake.
(BTW, he has been off medication for awhile according to LeBatard)
Its truly a shame that his career had to end in this manner.. All the positive things he could have done with his notoriety are now all but gone.. He succumbed to his illness, and let it control him. Do not take this as an excuse, because it really isnt one, but maybe this will serve to help people better understand the situation.