20 Reasons why the league/fans thinks we'll go less then .500 in 2005 | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

20 Reasons why the league/fans thinks we'll go less then .500 in 2005

jbond

jbond

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Now I know I know....I don't want to hear any crap about how I'm mean, ill spirited, have destructive tendencies, or how anything below may be taken "offensively" or anything else. This is merely a jest at why the league and other fans are running around saying we're going to suck next year just b/c we did last year. In order for us to "suck" this is my list of 20 things (comprable to last year) that would need to take place.....which I SERIOUSLY don't think will happen. So have a chuckle and remind yourselves that we weren't really as bad as our "4-12 record" of last year indicates and take heart that our season will be much better in 2005....barring ALL of the below.

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1. Ronnie will quit 2 weeks before the season starts to go smoke weed with Ricky in India.

2. Chambers will blow out a knee one week before the season starts.

3. Timbo will fall off a ladder and be out for the season (i know...wrong bowes historically) but still "funny" for lack of a better word.

4. Chester will be out for the season b/c of back pain.

5. Holiday and Carter will get injured in pre-season and be out 1/2 the season.

6. Feeley and Gus will switch starting every other game.

7. Morris will get injured in week 1 for 2 months out.

8. Gordon will get injured in week 2 for 2 months out.

9. Minor will get injured in week 3 for 2 months out.

10. We will resign Forsey to be our RB for a couple of months.

11. We will resign Boston to be a WR when CC gets injured one week before the season starts (see above)....only to be able to play 1/2 the season due to hitting his caddy when playing golf and having to due some 'time'.

12. Zach will pull a hamstring....twice and be out basically all season (his turn since Seau tore his pec last season...have to be fair).

13. Whoever ends up being our starting FB will get a staph infection and be out a month just to be re-injured and barely play.

14. Smith will start off at LT only to be injured and have Carey take his spot.

15. Mare will get injured and be out 2 months.

16. Four hurricanes will wreak havoc on S. FL in 1 month (Sept).

17. We're installing a new offensive and defensive schemes.

18. Marino will be rehired just to quit again.

19. Linehan will step down as OC before the season starts.

and last but not least....

20. Saban will quit in Week 9 due to the team's misfortunes and for being yelled at by the media and fans for the team's horrible performance!
 
would make for one helluva season... er... two seasons
 
Despite the jocular nature of your post, be advised that Bowens probably won't make it through the year. His injury is quite severe. Players can come back from it but they aren't usually in positions that receive constant contact as does his.
 
We do have a lot of questions. Including:

OL???

QB???

DT???

Secondary??

New offensive scheme

New defensive scheme

Playing in the AFC East.

Unproven coach

All those things add up to a .500 season prediction.
 
Although this post is supposed to be funny...step back and take a look at the 20 items...alot of crap happened last year that i dont think any team with any coach would have been able to recover from and do any better than the phins did. I think just keeping our coaching staff in place will be a huge to the team not to mention the addition fo the new players and coaches. As a phins fan you have to be excited about the upcoming season. Maybe not a SB, but we are going to be alot better.
 
I think if we don't get crushed with injuries we will be .500+. This team isn't as bad as their rec. last yr. Parcell took a bad Cowboys team to a 10-6 record his 1st year so the coach can make a difference. I wish we didn't have such a tough schedule though...
 
Yeah hopefully the injury bug, the hurricanes, and the Ricky's stay away this year.
 
can someone explain to me the term " we weren't as bad as our record showed". Yes we were. Otherwise we wouldn't be 4-12. Nothing else matters besides W's and L's in this league (as far as getting to the postseason) So how exactly does 4-12 not equal 4-12. And the comment "well the games were close" doesn't count cause we still lost, good teams find ways to win and we did not. I hope we have a .500 season but i think thats more to the top of what we could possibly acchieve. Go phins Go
 
very funny list Jbond, it's nice to see a sense of humor in the news off-season. Truly amazing to see a list of all the problems that befell the dolphins last year.

For the we're better/the same/ worse than our 4-12 record- take a look at the above list. No team (except the patriots) manages to pull wins being that devasted on defense. Plus 65% of our offfense was smoking in a tent at the time.

Yes, we had fundamental flaws in our team that showed through the last three 10-6 seasons, but we are a little better than 4 wins.
 
awing_pilot said:
can someone explain to me the term " we weren't as bad as our record showed". Yes we were. Otherwise we wouldn't be 4-12. Nothing else matters besides W's and L's in this league (as far as getting to the postseason) So how exactly does 4-12 not equal 4-12. And the comment "well the games were close" doesn't count cause we still lost, good teams find ways to win and we did not. I hope we have a .500 season but i think thats more to the top of what we could possibly acchieve. Go phins Go
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Well when people say that i automatically assume they are reffering to loseing both our starting DT's, and all the other various injuries throughout the season. Or maybe it was our coaching staff that was being reffered to.
 
Injuries and coaching cost us a bunch of L's. Wanny ball...run, run, run...punt on 4th and 15..
 
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