**!!** 2019 Fh March Madness Championship**!!** Blackcreekbandit Vs Bobdole | Page 66 | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

**!!** 2019 Fh March Madness Championship**!!** Blackcreekbandit Vs Bobdole

Who will be this year's Champion?

  • Blackcreekbandit

    Votes: 46 49.5%

  • BobDole

    Votes: 47 50.5%
  • Total voters
    93
  • Poll closed .
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Have a seat while Bob Dole regales you with his favorite story.


BD went to college at UF and during his junior year we lived in a cul de sac close enough to the stadium where we could charge people to park in the yard. We could squeeze maybe 20 cars in and at $20 a head you're looking at $400. 100% of this money went to booze and drugs for the weekend. The only other house in the circle were friends of mine and they did the same thing so you could imagine game weekends got a little loopy. We'd go through 10 kegs sometimes between the 2 houses on crazier than usual weekends.

LSU was one of those nutty ones. It was a night game so we didn't really start getting after it until maybe 10 or so and this particular night bled into Sunday. Maybe 200 people going back and forth from house to house ... randoms passed out in odd places ... bras hanging from ceiling fans ... one of those weekends.

So we're all still being crazy Sunday night ... the 50 of us who were left at least ... and my neighbor starts talking about how his gf didn't show up at the house at all and he thinks she's cheating. All ****ed up, I come up with the brilliant idea of him calling her to apologize and invite her over to talk, which he does. In the meantime, I walk down to the end of the road to the Texaco where the hookers hung out and found me the biggest blackest transvestite street walker you've ever seen. He (I presume he still had a dick) was probably 6'5" 250 and sounded like Marilyn Monroe.

I asked him if I could borrow him for maybe 30 minutes and he could have all the booze and weed that he wanted. Deal. We walked back to the house and people were falling over themselves laughing. I told him to just chill out in the room and we'd let him know when it was done ... not long.

All 50 of us drunk assholes just sat outside my neighbor's window and waited. About 10 minutes later the gf got to the house, walked into the room, screamed bloody murder, and both of them got up and ran out of the house as fast as they could. She even left her car ... literally sprinting home. It was an eruption of laughter unlike the world has ever seen.

So we're hanging out a few hours later and the hooker shows back up. He's embarrassed and kinda mad but came back because he dropped his crack running back to his corner and wanted compensation. Okay. We told him if he took a dump on the hood of her car (that she left at the house) we'd give him $100 to buy all the crack he wanted. Done. He took the biggest most disgusting steaming pile of **** on the hood of her car that I've ever seen. The horrible part is the (now ex) gf was so pissed about the whole thing that she didn't show up to get her car for like 3 days ... by which point the steaming crap pile had eaten through her paint after baking in the Gainesville sun for a few days.

For the cherry on top, I had a class with the ex the next semester and the guy my neighbor thought his gf was cheating on her with was a gay study partner who presented no threat whatsoever.




Bob Dole was very young then and no longer condones behavior such as this. America.

Vote Dole.

garyhartline2009-1x16.jpg
 
Last edited:
BobDole said:
Have a seat while is Bob Dole regales you with his favorite story.


BD went to college at UF and during his junior year we lived in a cul de sac close enough to the stadium where we could charge people to park in the yard. We could squeeze maybe 20 cars in and at $20 a head you're looking at $400. 100% of this money went to booze and drugs for the weekend. The only other house in the circle were friends of mine and they did the same thing so you could imagine game weekends got a little loopy. We'd go through 10 kegs sometimes between the 2 houses on crazier than usual weekends.

LSU was one of those nutty ones. It was a night game so we didn't really start getting after it until maybe 10 or so and this particular night bled into Sunday. Maybe 200 people going back and forth from house to house ... randoms passed out in odd places ... bras hanging from ceiling fans ... one of those weekends.

So we're all still being crazy Sunday night ... the 50 of us who were left at least ... and my neighbor starts talking about how his gf didn't show up at the house at all and he thinks she's cheating. All ****ed up, I come up with the brilliant idea of him calling her to apologize and invite her over to talk, which he does. In the meantime, I walk down to the end of the road to the Texaco where the hookers hung out and found me the biggest blackest transvestite street walker you've ever seen. He (I presume he still had a dick) was probably 6'5" 250 and sounded like Marilyn Monroe.

I asked him if I could borrow him for maybe 30 minutes and he could have all the booze and weed that he wanted. Deal. We walked back to the house and people were falling over themselves laughing. I told him to just chill out in the room and we'd let him know when it was done ... not long.

All 50 of us drunk assholes just sat outside my neighbor's window and waited. About 10 minutes later the gf got to the house, walked into the room, screamed bloody murder, and both of them got up and ran out of the house as fast as they could. She even left her car ... literally sprinting home. It was an eruption of laughter unlike the world has ever seen.

So we're hanging out a few hours later and the hooker shows back up. He's embarrassed and kinda mad but came back because he dropped his crack running back to his corner and wanted compensation. Okay. We told him if he took a dump on the hood of her car (that she left at the house) we'd give him $100 to buy all the crack he wanted. Done. He took the biggest most disgusting steaming pile of **** on the hood of her car that I've ever seen. The horrible part is the (now ex) gf was so pissed about the whole thing that she didn't show up to get her car for like 3 days ... by which point the steaming crap pile had eaten through her paint after baking in the Gainesville sun for a few days.

For the cherry on top, I had a class with the ex the next semester and the guy my neighbor thought his gf was cheating on her with was a gay study partner who presented no threat whatsoever.




Bob Dole was very young then and no longer condones behavior such as this. America.

Vote Dole.

View attachment 19904
Click to expand...

Outstanding Bob :up: ... Go Canes :p
 
BobDole said:
Have a seat while Bob Dole regales you with his favorite story.


BD went to college at UF and during his junior year we lived in a cul de sac close enough to the stadium where we could charge people to park in the yard. We could squeeze maybe 20 cars in and at $20 a head you're looking at $400. 100% of this money went to booze and drugs for the weekend. The only other house in the circle were friends of mine and they did the same thing so you could imagine game weekends got a little loopy. We'd go through 10 kegs sometimes between the 2 houses on crazier than usual weekends.

LSU was one of those nutty ones. It was a night game so we didn't really start getting after it until maybe 10 or so and this particular night bled into Sunday. Maybe 200 people going back and forth from house to house ... randoms passed out in odd places ... bras hanging from ceiling fans ... one of those weekends.

So we're all still being crazy Sunday night ... the 50 of us who were left at least ... and my neighbor starts talking about how his gf didn't show up at the house at all and he thinks she's cheating. All ****ed up, I come up with the brilliant idea of him calling her to apologize and invite her over to talk, which he does. In the meantime, I walk down to the end of the road to the Texaco where the hookers hung out and found me the biggest blackest transvestite street walker you've ever seen. He (I presume he still had a dick) was probably 6'5" 250 and sounded like Marilyn Monroe.

I asked him if I could borrow him for maybe 30 minutes and he could have all the booze and weed that he wanted. Deal. We walked back to the house and people were falling over themselves laughing. I told him to just chill out in the room and we'd let him know when it was done ... not long.

All 50 of us drunk assholes just sat outside my neighbor's window and waited. About 10 minutes later the gf got to the house, walked into the room, screamed bloody murder, and both of them got up and ran out of the house as fast as they could. She even left her car ... literally sprinting home. It was an eruption of laughter unlike the world has ever seen.

So we're hanging out a few hours later and the hooker shows back up. He's embarrassed and kinda mad but came back because he dropped his crack running back to his corner and wanted compensation. Okay. We told him if he took a dump on the hood of her car (that she left at the house) we'd give him $100 to buy all the crack he wanted. Done. He took the biggest most disgusting steaming pile of **** on the hood of her car that I've ever seen. The horrible part is the (now ex) gf was so pissed about the whole thing that she didn't show up to get her car for like 3 days ... by which point the steaming crap pile had eaten through her paint after baking in the Gainesville sun for a few days.

For the cherry on top, I had a class with the ex the next semester and the guy my neighbor thought his gf was cheating on her with was a gay study partner who presented no threat whatsoever.




Bob Dole was very young then and no longer condones behavior such as this. America.

Vote Dole.

View attachment 19904
Click to expand...

Great story Bob...the best college one I know or have heard didn't have anything to do with me.

I worked early on with a guy who graduated from Bucknell, a very good school somewhere in around Bum**** Pa.

He told the story of how his fraternity set up a gang bang with a local townie in the back of one of the bars in that town. Anyway everything was going smoothly, everyone getting their nuts off so the guys thought they'd be charitable and opened up her "access" to some of the town barstoolers that night.

Long story short, if not too late, one of the locals at the end of the train waiting for his turn had quite the shock when he got up there cuz the local talent turned out to be his daughter!
 
Oh, college stories. Here is my most proud one, and I had many to pick from:

My senior year last semester the campus put up this statue of minerva.

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So naturally I had to do something with this. One night I had one of my pledges climb up to the top of this statue, squirt a whole lot of crazy glue in her majestically outstretched hand, and plop a 12" rubber dong right in the hand.

The next morning I was sure to get out there early. Soon campus staff came and tried to remove the dong. They we're poking at it with shovels and rakes but since it was glued down it just flopped around back and forth. Took a cherry picker to get it off.

Such a simple joke but one that I'll always be proud of
 
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