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25 reasons why Dolphins are in Super Bowl drought

DKphin

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25. United Parcel Service: Yes, former UPS driver Bernie Parmalee led the team in rushing in 1994 and 1995. Still, the search for the total running back package lasted several more years. If the Dolphins needed such a star absolutely, positively overnight, surely they should have gone with Fed Ex.

24. "The U": For sending all those great Hurricanes to other NFL teams, without making the Dolphins aware they were allowed to draft them. (Well, with the exception of a brittle receiver destined to tear up his knee on the first day of training camp.)

23. Buttercup: In his final two seasons, Jimmy Johnson seemed more preoccupied with his pet Yorkie and the New York Stock Exchange than beating the New York Jets. … or anyone else.

22. Lobster traps: Dave Wannstedt hung them from the locker room ceiling to get his 2002 team to focus on hapless Minnesota, a week before a big date with New England. Players were puzzled, then lost both games. Next time, trap door. Quick and painless.

21. Video games: John Avery lost lots of sleep playing them. Defensive coordinators lost little worrying about how to stop him.

20. The gym: That is where many men meet beautiful women. Talented running back prospect Cecil Collins met one so stunning he later broke into her apartment. He claimed he simply wanted to watch her sleep. How sweet. And he was a solid citizen compared to Lawrence Phillips.

19. Lenny Kravitz: Wouldn't you need something mind-altering to listen to his cover of "American Woman" night after night? So who could blame Ricky Williams for some weed usage while touring with the singer?

18. Darkness: It suspiciously came to the visiting locker room during halftime of the 1995 playoff game at Jack Murphy Stadium. At the time, the Dolphins led 21-6, and many players assumed Chargers GM Bobby Beathard (who was feuding with Shula) had something to do with the power outage. Of course, the stadium was well-lit when Pete Stoyanovich, after a bad snap by Jeff Dellenbach, shanked a 48-yard field goal attempt and turned the lights out on the Dolphins' last best chance.

17. Alliteration: It was soothing to shout "Sammie Sucks" back in 1991, and made furious fans feel a little better about Sammie Smith's fumbling follies. The sensitive, shaken Smith? Simply never the same.

16. Expansion: Jaguars 62, Dolphins 7. Against the Texans? 0-5.

15. The Spielman System: In his first major act with final personnel say in 2004, General Manager Rick Spielman did a lengthy study comparing the limited work of Eagles third-stringer A.J. Feeley to that of other backups who later became full-time starters. Then he traded a second-rounder for him. He could have saved a lot of time and trouble by simply asking Eric Cartman. ("Aw, man, I got a crappy A.J. Feeley card again!")

14. Terry Saban: Well, we've ripped Nick enough, haven't we? Truth is, his wife liked it here even less.

13. University of Tennessee: Eddie Moore. Jason Allen. Gibril Wilson. OK, we're no longer taking Volunteers.

12. Modern medicine: Numerous doctors said Daunte Culpepper's bum knee was a safer bet than Drew Brees' shredded shoulder. Not that Brees became anything.

11. Jumbo Elliott: The Dolphins held a 30-7 lead in the fourth quarter in 2000, only for the Jets to tie them at 37 on a pass to their left tackle. You remember the Miracle at the Meadowlands? What you may forget about 2000 is the 40-37 loss would cost them home field against the Raiders in the postseason's second round. Oakland clobbered them in the Black Hole 27-0 somehow without throwing to a single offensive lineman.

10. Screen passes: It's been 17 years since the 1993 AFC Championship loss to Buffalo. You think Tom Olivadotti's learned to stop them yet? (Thurman Thomas just ran by shook his head.)

9. Mo Lewis: For knocking out Drew Bledsoe in 2001. Otherwise, the Patriots might never have learned what they had in Tom Brady. Plus, Gisele Bundchen might still be single.

8. The Ginn family: For being so darn nice to Cam Cameron.

7. Bill Parcells: For making Ray Lucas, the Jet, look like a quarterback worth signing.

6. Gary Stevens: For not knowing what to do with chicken bleep.

5. Larry Shannon: For not being Randy Moss, which is what Johnson promised.

4. Anquan Boldin: For not being a special-teams linebacker, which is what Wannstedt wanted.

3. Eric Kumerow: Who? (Yes, still a mystery.)

2. Dirt: For repeatedly messing with Olindo Mare.

1. Dan Marino: For being only one man.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/...(Miami+Dolphins+/+South+Florida+Sun-Sentinel)
 
This might be one of the worst list ever made....

Cause its all true..

I hope the trifecta keeps on delivering otherwise..My spirit may be broken for good..
 
You got that right about Marino..He was the Greatest QB ever in my book..Shula thought Marino would always pull out a win by himself..
 
The obscene aspect is he left out any ridicule of Dolphin Stadium compared to the Orange Bowl.

Let's see, 5 Super Bowl appearances in 21 seasons in the Orange Bowl, including starting from scratch as an expansion team, and 0 Super Bowl appearances in 23 years at the glorified warehouse. I'm sure it's merely a coincidence, and not worthy of Top 25 mention. :lol:

The writers and local media prefer the cushy press box and other amenities at the current place. Hardly surprising they are clueless how much we suffer in that venue, in terms of home field advantage. The only one who got it was Greg Cote, evidenced by his columns damning the Canes' move out of the Orange Bowl.
 
I would add the AFC EAST to the list of reasons why we have been in a long drought. Since 2000 the Pats have dominated the division. You win the Division and have a decent shot at a bye which means you might only have to win 3 playoff games to be SB Champs. The Phins have had a hard time just making it as a wildcard team, but I think we are on the way up while the Pats and Bills are heading downward. I think we can beat the Jets but our division is pretty tough.
 
this piece couldve been great, instead its fluff.. oh well..
 
The obscene aspect is he left out any ridicule of Dolphin Stadium compared to the Orange Bowl.

Let's see, 5 Super Bowl appearances in 21 seasons in the Orange Bowl, including starting from scratch as an expansion team, and 0 Super Bowl appearances in 23 years at the glorified warehouse. I'm sure it's merely a coincidence, and not worthy of Top 25 mention. :lol:

The writers and local media prefer the cushy press box and other amenities at the current place. Hardly surprising they are clueless how much we suffer in that venue, in terms of home field advantage. The only one who got it was Greg Cote, evidenced by his columns damning the Canes' move out of the Orange Bowl.

Agreed.
 
The obscene aspect is he left out any ridicule of Dolphin Stadium compared to the Orange Bowl.

Let's see, 5 Super Bowl appearances in 21 seasons in the Orange Bowl, including starting from scratch as an expansion team, and 0 Super Bowl appearances in 23 years at the glorified warehouse. I'm sure it's merely a coincidence, and not worthy of Top 25 mention. :lol:

The writers and local media prefer the cushy press box and other amenities at the current place. Hardly surprising they are clueless how much we suffer in that venue, in terms of home field advantage. The only one who got it was Greg Cote, evidenced by his columns damning the Canes' move out of the Orange Bowl.

In complete agreement with this post. Once we left to this concrete mausoleum we call home now, any semblance of home field that we ever had was lost.
 
It's comical but I thought it would be more serious. The number 1 reason is because we have had a complete loss of player talent evaluation. This goes from Shula's last few years all the way through Cameron's regime. We finally have decent talent evaluators and we are building a better team.
 
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