Dol-Fan Dupree
Manning to Tyree = Best SB Play EVER!!!!
It is that time again, the time of the offseason is ending. It is time to look forward to the upcoming season. It is about darn time to get excited about football again. Well here is the thing everyone has not been waiting for. The Dol-Fan Dupree Manifesto. Where it starts strong and ends weak. Just like making love.
Quarterbacks: This year is one of the most amazing year for quarterbacks for the Miami Dolphins. There were times where I would have to try to find ways to get excited over AJ Feeley or Frerotte or for the love of god Jay Fiedler. Hell I remember when I used to dream that Ray Lucas would be the savior. Now look at them. Talent, talent, talent. It is sad when the most talented quarterback to head the Dolphins was AJ Feeley or Jim Drunkenmiller.
Daunte Culpepper: Holy crap, how is he on this team? Is Brad Childress a dummy? Hell if Culpepper had an average season next year he could of gotten more than a first round pick for him. However all he got was a 2nd. You don't get talent like this for a 2nd. Yes he did have a bad year last year, however even the best quarterbacks have a bad few game stretches. Of course you read all of the break downs and you don't need me to point out the obvious facts of why he struggled last year and why Brad Johnson's record really isn't that impressive. I bet the Viking would of won one of the tough games with Daunte if the defense scored two touchdowns and special teams scored one and they kept the team under the 21 points. However no, that was all Brad Johnson. What Daunte brings to the team is more talent and ability than all quarterbacks since Marino combined. Of course he makes the team.
Joey Harrington: This one is interesting. He is a talented guy who is kind of quirky. He has made bad decisions, however he hasn't really been able to get in a stride. Which kind of tells me that he might not be the best back up quarterback. However he is better than AJ Feeley. So this is an upgrade to the position from last year. One thing Saban is really good at is looking at any position and upgrading it. Of course he makes the team
Cleo Lemon: The dark horse. He could take Joey Harrington's spot. He is built like Daunte Culpepper. He is liked by Marty howeveryouspellhislastname. Which shows me he has heart and ability. It is really hard to tell how he is going to do since I haven't really seen him much. Some of the plays he made as a Charger in preseason were mighty impressive. I hope to be amazed once again in preseason.
Justin Holland: This guy is someone they targetted for free agency. They seemed happy to get him. The mighty Garrett seems to like him. I am going to pick him for PS. So basically that is CUT, and brought back.
Brock Berlin: Aww the Jay Fiedler of the Hurricanes. Man did he suck in NFLE. He looked so good in preseason last year that people wanted him to start. I don't think anyone thinks that now. I wonder how many even want him to be a part of the team. The great alliteration quarterback is going to be CUT
Marcus Vick: I can't believe I almost forgot about him. CUT. Have fun in the canadian leagues, where he will dominate if he gets his head on straight.
Running backs: This one is interesting. It is interesting in the fact that the top is FREAKING AWESOME, then the rest is eh to eww. In today's NFL you really could use, FREAKING AWESOME, then, "not bad" and then eh to eww.
Ronnie Brown: This is guy is going to be FREAKING AWESOME! He has the ability to turn a 5 yard carry to a 40 yard carry. He reminds me a little like Bo Jackson in the sense that you REALLY want the defensive line to bottle him up or a linebacker to hit him. If a secondary is the first line of defense or last line of defense there is a great chance he will get passed him. Look at some of his longest plays. There was a good shot for a cornerback or a saftey to make the play. Unfortunately for them they didn't do it. He has the speed to really make you pay. Some of the bigger runningbacks the cornerbacks could kind of let them go and still catch up and maybe they would get an extra 5 yards or so, but it wouldn't turn into a 40 yard run. With Ronnie he could run past them if they try this tactic. I am looking forward to watching him run. He is exciting. Makes the team of course.
Sammy Morris: Here is a player I really disagree with a lot of people with. I like him like a lot of people do. However he isn't THAT great. He can make a guy miss sometimes. He does make great catches. I love him as the third choice/2nd string 3rd down back. However if Ronnie goes down, I don't see him carrying the team. I don't care about his 4.0 carry during the horrible year. I watched the games. It wasn't that impressive. Still I am happy he is on the team. He seems like a great guy and a great player to have on the team.
Travis Minor: The beginning of the eww. He has some speed. Doesn't seem to have the shiftiness or the vision to be a starting runningback. He is beginning to get the hatred of the fans for not living up to their expectations. I say he gets CUT. Time for some YOUTH!!
Kay-Jay Harris: This guy looked really good on special teams last year. Big strong, I don't know why he didn't get picked up last year. I guess having a back up runningback that was looked good on special teams wasn't really needed last year. I think this year he is going to show some better running and actually make the team over Travis Minor
Gerald Riggs Jr.: The thing I like about this guy is the fact that he has a famous father. I love these players. I am rooting for Jarret. I wish Marino's son would go into football. I don't know why. I just love the sons of football. Still, he could be a dark horse. Injuries hurt him in college. I am going to say he is a PS canidate. Still that means he gets CUT
Fred Beasley: I remember him as being a good reciever out of the back field and a good blocker. I hope my memory is correct. Go Fred! You can do it. Makes the team.
Darian Barnes: This is a gut check time. Donald Lee failed at this last year. Will this year be Darian Barnes? This year he knows his chances of making the team has really decreased. Plus getting Fred Beasley has shown him that he needs to not only be a good blocker, which is he, he needs to catch and run routes and junk. IMO his main competition is the 3rd tight end. Which could be Teyo Johnson. I say he folds under the pressure like Lee and gets CUT. Which is too bad. I liked the guy.
Wide Recievers: This one is less interesting than runningbacks but more interesting than watching grass grow. However everything is more interesting than watching grass grow. Unless you are watching hot naked women rolling around in growing grass. What can't be improved by hot naked women? I will tell you. Miami's wide reciever corp.
Chris Chambers: Finally had the season people were waiting for. Finally seemed to have the light click on and might be one of the elite recievers in the league. This year he will have a good quarterback to help him out. I feel he will continue on making the most amazing catches and take his game up to the next level. Makes the team of course.
Marty Booker: I like this guy. Hopefully he will step up his game a little more and get rid of some of the dropsies that he had last year. Still he is a good reciever who is an excellent route runner. He is a deep threat because of his ability to create seperation with moves and cunning. I truely believe that his presense has helped Chris Chambers and will be a good example to the rookie recievers. I like this guy. I don't care that he cried once and wasn't really happy to be yanked out of a place he loved a few weeks before the season on a team that he trusted. I believe him and Chambers are a good one two punch for Culpepper
Wes Welker: I like this guy as well. I think he makes the team due to the fact that he is a great punt returner. He is fast and shifty enough to take it to the house. Plus he is really good at catching the ball. Culpepper has good accuracy with his balls so maybe that would help Welker out a little. He is a fan favorite for a real good reason. He can do everything.
Kelly Campbell: I think this guy is Welker's main competition. If he proves he is better than Welker at punt returning or being the third wide reciever and they find a good enough punt returner, Welker maybe cut or traded. I think Saban's love of age and youth together tells me that he keeps 3 older recievers and 2 younger recievers. However that seems silly of me to say since both Campbell and Welker are 25. Wow that is depressing, I am 28. I am old for a reciever. Well and slow and fat and short for a reciever, plus I can't really catch it if you throw the ball to hard because I don't want to hurt my delicate hands. I believe that he will fail and get CUT.
Derek Hagan: He is a now the poster child for skipping the Senior Bowl. Before the Senior Bowl he was considered by a lot of people to be the number one reciever in the draft. Afterwards he was considered a reach in the in third round. It is really amazing how an amazing career in the PAC 10 (which does have some bad cornerbacks) can just be put aside by one week of bad practice and game. However his route running and work ethic has been deemed excellent. Something about that just makes me think he will be successful in this league. I believe he makes the team and has at least 20 catches his rookie year. Hopefully he can learn as much from Marty Booker as possible before he takes his job
Fred Gibson: This guy is interesting. 4th round pick who gets cut and then spends the entire year on Miami's practice squad. He is a taller wide receiver at 6-4. I just don't see Miami keeping 6 recievers. Could this guy be good? I don't know. He probably has the talent. I am interested in seeing what he does in the preseason. Saved from cutting due to the fact that I cut too many players. He is tall. I like tall. It is always good to have a reciever who never active just in case one gets hurt
Cliff Russell: I like this guy. He is one of the preseason guys who look good. Then gets cut. Poor guy. CUT
Eric Kimble: I believe this guy is the son of my father's highschool coach. He hated his highschool coach. CUT
Devin Aromashodu: This is a guy with 3rd to 4th round talent and 7th round career stats. However he went to a running school and had his senior season he didn't have the greatest quarterback throwing him the ball. CKParrotHead seems to like the guy and I trust his judgement. Plus he is taller and fast. I love speed. So I believe he takes a spot on the team. However due to his name you almost wish he gets cut. How do you remember to spell that. Aro Mash Odu? I can remember Mash. What do I associate with Aro or Odu? Wait, Odu Nobunaga. I love that game.Crap it is Oda. Hmm not anymore Ok now Aro, first thing I googled was Army Research office. So now to remember to spell he will now be known as Army Research Office, Mash tv show, Odu Nobunaga first name spelled wrong. Remember that?
Jason Willis: What are you talking about WIllis? I am talking about CUTTING you.
Chris Davis: I could think of something funny to say, however that would demean us both. Well not really. He just has a really unfunny name. Ha ha, your name is normal, CUT? Is that funny?
Jamall Broussard: There is something about this guy that I want to remember. However by the time I finish looking it up, he will be CUT.
Frank Murphy: He has a shot of making the team. He has a shot of being the kick returner. I also have a shot of making love with a beautiful girl with DD's. Well I will be pulling for him to make the team now. GO FRANK!! CUT. Aww weak
. There went my shot.
Tight End: I don't really want to introduce what I think of this position. So I will just type this sentence.
Randy McMichael: He is the Chris Chambers of this year. People have been waiting for him to blow up and he hasn't. He has shown big play ability though. Always made a good contribution to the team. Well lets hope that continues and he blows up this year.
Justin Peele: Sounds like a football player's name. Brought in for his blocking ability. I say he makes the team, why not?
Teyo Johnson: Very talented guy who is freaking HUGE! One of those players that if the light clicks on in his head could be one of the best in the league. However the light never came close to clicking and he is now fighting to make the Dolphins as a third tight end. However since he can play H-back, tight end and wide reciever if need be, I believe he will make the team. Saban seems to like players who can do a lot. I also believe that Saban can get this guy's light to turn on so he can turn his ability to ability on the field.
Jason Rader: Made the team in what has to be one of the worst years in Miami history for back up tight ends. Too bad Donald Lee didn't work out. Oh well. He gets CUT.
Keith Heinrich: His name reminds me of a horrible wrestler that used to be in the WWE. He needs to get cut.CUT! I hate Hiedenrich!
Offensive line: This unit went from offensive to not bad in one year. Houck did a good job of actually doing his job. I always felt the offensive line was very undercoached and then put in a position to fail. That is also a good thing about Saban, his desire to not put round pegs in square holes. He reminds me of my ancestors. Given crappy ingrediants but made them work. You don't get a crappy piece of meat and cook it for five minutes and serve it, you cook it for hours until it is tender. That is what Saban is. He is a guy who can take bad ingrediants and bring the best out of them. Still going to be hard to pick who makes the team here as he seemed to add some better ingredients.
L.J. Shelton: He isn't a guy who is going to set the world on fire. However he is a guy who could be an upgrade over the previous guy, which is really what you want. Well not really, you want a guy who can set the world on fire, however those are hard to get at Left Tackle. It is hard for me to think of one that didn't come from the first 10 picks in the last 10 years.
Vernon Carey: Someone with the ability to play the position, however does he have the smarts? Well I believe that will be finally answered this year for sure. He has had a year in the system and a coach who is really good at coaching. If he doesn't set the world on fire this year, I don't believe he ever will. He might be moved to guard. I don't know. I think he still makes the team.
Tony Pape: Quit the team last year. He has ability. I say CUT. I should of been able to make a joke with the last name Pape. Hmm, he will get Paper CUT? Eh.
Joe Toledo: I think this guy is a guard. I think this guy is going to make the team. He is going to be one of those players who make the team but will be inactive for half the season. He also has a chance of starting. He is interesting. A lot of people believe that there were better players available for Miami to pick. Obviously Saban and Muellar didn't think so. I am looking forward to seeing why.
Damion McIntosh: He is one of the players that makes this very hard. I mean he has ability to play in this league. He is more than good enough to be a back up. Due to the fact that I need one more player, I pick him. This isn't going to make sense to anyone else but me. However now I have 53 players making the team.
Orrin Thompson: This guy is as tall as he is CUT. I think I used that one before.
Anthony Alibi: I believe this guy makes the team instead of McIntosh. He is a Houck project. Plus the fact he has huge arms. I think he is going to be the primary back up at left tackle. Has a shot of claiming the starting role and moving LJ to right tackle, which could get Vernon cut and Damion makes the team. Maybe I am just reading too much into it. The Dolphin offensive line is harder to piece together than the JFK assasination. Too soon?
Mike Pearson: holy crap, another player with ability. Does he make the team or does he get cut? Show of hands. Looks like the CUTs have it. 3 to 5. You people are worse than Americans voting for mid term elections. You people, I mean the people in my head. Only a 10% voting rate. How sad.
Wade Smith: A hated player for whatever reason. Sometimes fans are funny. You take a player, put him in a position that really he shouldn't be in. Does ok for his circumstances and is now hated. He had NO business starting LT his rookie year. None whatsoever. That is a position that is hard to play for rookies who played their entire career at LT, let alone a converted tight end. Still I believe that he makes the team. Why? Maybe I am reading too much into this, but when he was hurt last year Miami immediately signed two players to replace him. I believe Houck has belief in his ability. I think he will be the primary back up center and a back up to guards.
Seth McKinney: I like this player. He is also hated. However I do believe he will be CUT.
Jeno James: A player that seemed to come on last season to be the player that people thought he could be when Miami signed him. I hope he can continue and maybe even improve
Bennie Anderson: An interesting player. One of those players who looked good, then went to a new team and looked bad and now is on another team. He is huge. I am going to be super HOMER and say that he is going to be awesome and makes the team and starts. SUPER HOMER TO THE RESCUE!!
Rex Hadnot: A player that is so easy to love. On the field he is nasty and tough and doesn't give up and is just fun to watch. Off the field he is hilarious. He is the type of player you just want to succeed because he just is so freaking likable. So I say due to my rosy colored glasses, he will start and dominate.
Joe Berger: Mmmmm Burger. CUT
C.J. Brooks: hehe he, 69. CUT
Emmanuel Akah: His last name kind of sounds like the noise Jay Sherman used to make when he coughed. CUT
Defense: I love defense.
Defensive line. I love defensive line. Go Defensive line.
Kevin Carter: I like this guy. Such a good interviewer. I wonder if he is going to be a front office guy, coach or color commentator when he retires. He is also a great football player. He seems ageless.
Jason Taylor: Awesome. Hopefully next year more awesome. He uses his powers for good and for awesome. He is like some kind of robot.
Matt Roth: Someone who people seemed to expect the world from and yet when he wasn't able to deliver on their HUGE expectations was a huge disappointment in a lot of eyes. What I saw was a player that I thought was going to be good at pass rushing but weak against the run be completely the opposite. He was good against the run but a weak pass rusher. I am looking forward to seeing what he can do this year.
David Bowens: The only player on the team that has the ability to back up Jason Taylor. He is a very good back up player. I love watching him play. He could be a starter on a few teams out there or at least the 3rd guy in a heavy rotation. Some of the players cut should look at his career as a reason to never give up if you have the ability.
Ben Ishola: With a last name like Ishola he has to be tough. CUT.
Vonny Holliday: Someone who should of been drafted years ago instead of John Avery. Did well last year. Hopefully he will continue to do well.
Manuel Wright: An interesting player. On one hand he looks lazy as hell. At the other hand he seems to be willing to do the work it takes to be good. What do I mean? I mean when he is at camp after the crying incident he seems to be a hard worker. He just doesn't seem to get it that football is now a year round sport. There was a time where you could gain 30 pounds in the 2 months you have "off" and use the training camps as a time to work that off. Now you can't do that. What I read is he has lost a decent amount of weight and that he has been working extra hard to keep on losing it. I just imagined that he is a young kid who after a long year of taking a lot of crap and going through a lot just wanted to escape for a couple of months at home. Well he has all the ability to be a good if not great player in this league. Sometimes he does look unblockable. Maybe I am just the type of fan that loves to give a player the benefit of the doubt for the first two years of their career as a Phin.
Keith Traylor: IMO he was over used last year due to the fact that his back up was Zgonia. He looked fine last year. Hopefully someone will step up and be able to go in rotation with him at NT.
Jeff Zgonia: I believe I have had him cut every year I have done this. Every year I have been wrong. Someday I will be right. CUT. Gotta go with the law of averages.
Kevin Vickerson: His biggest fan last year seemed to be Kevin Carter. I think Kevin Carter is a very smart football player. So I am going to bow down to his wisdom and say that Kevin is in for a big year of backing up and maybe working his way into the rotation. I can see the headlines now. VICKerson Makes the Dolphins.
Josh Shaw: Man this is taking forever. I wonder what the record is for the most time a player was cut from one team in one year. I wonder if he broke Pruitt's record for the phins. I thought he looked good in preseason. One thing the Rock has taught me is, IT DOES'T MATTER WHAT I THINK! CUT again, brought back, CUT, brought back, CUT, brought back, CUT. He is like the Jesus of the Dolphins. Always popping up on tacos and driveways.
Howard Green: HOWard DOESard ITard FEELard TOard BEard CUTard. Can you crack the code?
Roderique Wright: Poster boy of not going back for another year in college if you are seen as a top 10 pick. Holy crap how one year makes a HUGE difference. I believe he will go on IR. That is what all signs point to.
Steve Fifita: I am going out on a limb and saying he makes the team and makes an impact at NT. Why not? Only my credibility is on the line. Since you have read this much you should know how much that is worth. I don't believe I could get a dollar chip at vegas for my credibility.
Fred Evans: Practice squad potential. Someone who for some reason was drafted ahead of Roderique Wright. How did that guy fall that far? However makes the team due to my bad cutting frenzy. Sheesh I am like Homer Simpson out here.
Linebackers. What do you get when you cross a line with a backer? A lawyer. haha ha ha.
Zach Thomas: Someone who just doesn't stop aging. Holy crap he was great last year. I believe he will be great this year. Great knowledge of the game. Great work ethic. He is so likeable. Heck he even looks like the lovable Barney Rubble. Who doesn't like Barney? For someone who people don't think is the perfect fit for Saban's defense, he really seems to be the perfect fit for Saban's defense. I guess Saban's defense works with smart linebackers with great insticts. Who would of thought?
Channing Crowder: If there was a contest of weirdest names in the NFL he has a chance of winning. I bet he would have fun in Boston. Park the car Crowda. He looked good as a rookie last year. He might be even better next year. I am looking forward to seeing this guy play.
Donnie Spragan: A smart player with ability. I am running out of steam.
Derrick Pope: a player many people thought would be cut last year, however he looked pretty good last year when he subbed in for Zach. A good special teams player and a good back up. Also probably a good practice player for the offense.
Eddie Moore: A player who when isn't injured is a good player. In fact he would be the perfect player as a nickle linebacker. However he just can't remain uninjured. Maybe he needs more calcium in his diet? The fact that he is still on the team should tell you something. I think that if he remains healthy he makes the team. However history is not on his side, CUT or IR.
Keith Newman: A linebacker who is good at blitzing. I like him. I think he will do good things.
Sederick Hodge: Since Eddie Moore is hurt, the position is his now. A fast linebacker who just didn't live up to his potential. Lets hope he does that now.
Mike Labinjo: Ever read a roster and go, "who?" I just did. CUT
Mike Sinclair: Mmmm Eclairs. CUT. I am hungry
Travis Harris: What does Travis Harris and Nicole Brown Simpson, wait, I should just stop. CUT.
Sam McGrew: more like Sam McCut. I don't believe McDonalds is going to sell that one. NOW would hate it. Somehow it would be violence against women like the throat cut celebration. I don't understand women.
Trent Bray: I never heard of him. So CUT. If I didn't hear of him he must be cut.
Secondary: Talk about a unit that has changed a lot. Talk about a summary that sucks.
Jason Allen: A player that seemed so obvious that he was not a sexy pick. However when you read how athletic he is, the pick is very sexy. Then you look at his uninjured years and he seems like he could be a steal. Big fast safties seem to be the way of the future in the NFL.
Yeremiah Bell: I love speed. This guy has some and more. Plus he has a great burst. You can see that when he sacked the quarterback last year. I believe he will be the starting safty. If he isn't he will at least be in the rotation. Good chance of being the dime back again.
Norman LeJeune: I will not make a French joke. I will be respectful and not used this as an opportunity to call them frogs. Still I think this guy will be CUT like some froglegs. MMmmm Frog legs.
Renaldo Hill: An interesting player. Actually played linebacker on goalline for the Raiders. He will be part of the rotation I believe. I think he will get some playing time.
Deke Cooper: A player that has a shot at starting.
Traveres Tillman: A player with ability. An ability to be CUT.
Siddeeq Shabazz: He is the Shazam of the team. SHABAZZ, you got CUT. That doesn't make any sense.
Jack Hunt: I wonder if I made a Mike joke last year? CUT
Will Allen: A player that I don't think will be worse than Madison in this defense. I believe he is better suited than Madison.
Travis Daniels: A player who started last year and has a shot of being the Nickleback this year. Has more ability than people give him credit far. Needs to improve his hips.
Will Poole: Fan favorite for starting. Looked good his rookie year. Well not any better than Daniels, however don't tell some people that. Their heads will explode.
Art Thomas: Is the Leonardo De Vinci of CUT
Shirdonya Mitchell: From what I read has a chance of being in the return game if he is recovered from his injury. Interested in seeing how he works out.
Eddie Jackson: More like Eddie CUTson. Talk about going to the well too many times. No one is laughing. It is not even that funny of a joke. Ooo he just took his last name and added cut. He is so funny. Ha ha ha ha ha. Stop mocking me jerk. You waste a night of your life doing this. I DARE YOU! Well not really. I don't want to read it. Even though I probably will. GO PHINS!
Andre Goodman: A good year to not be cut.
Michael Lehan: Lehan, there is something funny about that last name. maybe I am just thinking of the runaway bride. He will runaway cut? How that is that funny. He will be the victem of Chainfire. No one will get that reference. A no prize who can get where I was going with that one. CUT.
Special teams: what is the fun in this?
Donnie Jones: Makes the team. Hopefully improves.
Thomas Olmstead: Who, what, where, why, how? did I miss any. Wow debating punters is as interesting as hearing a hot woman tell you why she can't sleep with you.
Olindo Mare: Hopefully improves his accuracy. Great kick off guy.
Ola Kimrin: It is like they are making up names. CUT
John Denny: Long snapper. ooo this fun to talk about. As much fun to talk about as that one time I got a rash from running to much and the ointment I used to get rid of it.
There you go. I am all done. If you read all this, I am impressed by your lack of better things to do. Sometimes I wonder if Saban reads this if he think I am just stupid or mentally ******ed. Actually if he thought either, I win, because he read it. GO PHINS!!
Quarterbacks: This year is one of the most amazing year for quarterbacks for the Miami Dolphins. There were times where I would have to try to find ways to get excited over AJ Feeley or Frerotte or for the love of god Jay Fiedler. Hell I remember when I used to dream that Ray Lucas would be the savior. Now look at them. Talent, talent, talent. It is sad when the most talented quarterback to head the Dolphins was AJ Feeley or Jim Drunkenmiller.
Daunte Culpepper: Holy crap, how is he on this team? Is Brad Childress a dummy? Hell if Culpepper had an average season next year he could of gotten more than a first round pick for him. However all he got was a 2nd. You don't get talent like this for a 2nd. Yes he did have a bad year last year, however even the best quarterbacks have a bad few game stretches. Of course you read all of the break downs and you don't need me to point out the obvious facts of why he struggled last year and why Brad Johnson's record really isn't that impressive. I bet the Viking would of won one of the tough games with Daunte if the defense scored two touchdowns and special teams scored one and they kept the team under the 21 points. However no, that was all Brad Johnson. What Daunte brings to the team is more talent and ability than all quarterbacks since Marino combined. Of course he makes the team.
Joey Harrington: This one is interesting. He is a talented guy who is kind of quirky. He has made bad decisions, however he hasn't really been able to get in a stride. Which kind of tells me that he might not be the best back up quarterback. However he is better than AJ Feeley. So this is an upgrade to the position from last year. One thing Saban is really good at is looking at any position and upgrading it. Of course he makes the team
Cleo Lemon: The dark horse. He could take Joey Harrington's spot. He is built like Daunte Culpepper. He is liked by Marty howeveryouspellhislastname. Which shows me he has heart and ability. It is really hard to tell how he is going to do since I haven't really seen him much. Some of the plays he made as a Charger in preseason were mighty impressive. I hope to be amazed once again in preseason.
Justin Holland: This guy is someone they targetted for free agency. They seemed happy to get him. The mighty Garrett seems to like him. I am going to pick him for PS. So basically that is CUT, and brought back.
Brock Berlin: Aww the Jay Fiedler of the Hurricanes. Man did he suck in NFLE. He looked so good in preseason last year that people wanted him to start. I don't think anyone thinks that now. I wonder how many even want him to be a part of the team. The great alliteration quarterback is going to be CUT
Marcus Vick: I can't believe I almost forgot about him. CUT. Have fun in the canadian leagues, where he will dominate if he gets his head on straight.
Running backs: This one is interesting. It is interesting in the fact that the top is FREAKING AWESOME, then the rest is eh to eww. In today's NFL you really could use, FREAKING AWESOME, then, "not bad" and then eh to eww.
Ronnie Brown: This is guy is going to be FREAKING AWESOME! He has the ability to turn a 5 yard carry to a 40 yard carry. He reminds me a little like Bo Jackson in the sense that you REALLY want the defensive line to bottle him up or a linebacker to hit him. If a secondary is the first line of defense or last line of defense there is a great chance he will get passed him. Look at some of his longest plays. There was a good shot for a cornerback or a saftey to make the play. Unfortunately for them they didn't do it. He has the speed to really make you pay. Some of the bigger runningbacks the cornerbacks could kind of let them go and still catch up and maybe they would get an extra 5 yards or so, but it wouldn't turn into a 40 yard run. With Ronnie he could run past them if they try this tactic. I am looking forward to watching him run. He is exciting. Makes the team of course.
Sammy Morris: Here is a player I really disagree with a lot of people with. I like him like a lot of people do. However he isn't THAT great. He can make a guy miss sometimes. He does make great catches. I love him as the third choice/2nd string 3rd down back. However if Ronnie goes down, I don't see him carrying the team. I don't care about his 4.0 carry during the horrible year. I watched the games. It wasn't that impressive. Still I am happy he is on the team. He seems like a great guy and a great player to have on the team.
Travis Minor: The beginning of the eww. He has some speed. Doesn't seem to have the shiftiness or the vision to be a starting runningback. He is beginning to get the hatred of the fans for not living up to their expectations. I say he gets CUT. Time for some YOUTH!!
Kay-Jay Harris: This guy looked really good on special teams last year. Big strong, I don't know why he didn't get picked up last year. I guess having a back up runningback that was looked good on special teams wasn't really needed last year. I think this year he is going to show some better running and actually make the team over Travis Minor
Gerald Riggs Jr.: The thing I like about this guy is the fact that he has a famous father. I love these players. I am rooting for Jarret. I wish Marino's son would go into football. I don't know why. I just love the sons of football. Still, he could be a dark horse. Injuries hurt him in college. I am going to say he is a PS canidate. Still that means he gets CUT
Fred Beasley: I remember him as being a good reciever out of the back field and a good blocker. I hope my memory is correct. Go Fred! You can do it. Makes the team.
Darian Barnes: This is a gut check time. Donald Lee failed at this last year. Will this year be Darian Barnes? This year he knows his chances of making the team has really decreased. Plus getting Fred Beasley has shown him that he needs to not only be a good blocker, which is he, he needs to catch and run routes and junk. IMO his main competition is the 3rd tight end. Which could be Teyo Johnson. I say he folds under the pressure like Lee and gets CUT. Which is too bad. I liked the guy.
Wide Recievers: This one is less interesting than runningbacks but more interesting than watching grass grow. However everything is more interesting than watching grass grow. Unless you are watching hot naked women rolling around in growing grass. What can't be improved by hot naked women? I will tell you. Miami's wide reciever corp.
Chris Chambers: Finally had the season people were waiting for. Finally seemed to have the light click on and might be one of the elite recievers in the league. This year he will have a good quarterback to help him out. I feel he will continue on making the most amazing catches and take his game up to the next level. Makes the team of course.
Marty Booker: I like this guy. Hopefully he will step up his game a little more and get rid of some of the dropsies that he had last year. Still he is a good reciever who is an excellent route runner. He is a deep threat because of his ability to create seperation with moves and cunning. I truely believe that his presense has helped Chris Chambers and will be a good example to the rookie recievers. I like this guy. I don't care that he cried once and wasn't really happy to be yanked out of a place he loved a few weeks before the season on a team that he trusted. I believe him and Chambers are a good one two punch for Culpepper
Wes Welker: I like this guy as well. I think he makes the team due to the fact that he is a great punt returner. He is fast and shifty enough to take it to the house. Plus he is really good at catching the ball. Culpepper has good accuracy with his balls so maybe that would help Welker out a little. He is a fan favorite for a real good reason. He can do everything.
Kelly Campbell: I think this guy is Welker's main competition. If he proves he is better than Welker at punt returning or being the third wide reciever and they find a good enough punt returner, Welker maybe cut or traded. I think Saban's love of age and youth together tells me that he keeps 3 older recievers and 2 younger recievers. However that seems silly of me to say since both Campbell and Welker are 25. Wow that is depressing, I am 28. I am old for a reciever. Well and slow and fat and short for a reciever, plus I can't really catch it if you throw the ball to hard because I don't want to hurt my delicate hands. I believe that he will fail and get CUT.
Derek Hagan: He is a now the poster child for skipping the Senior Bowl. Before the Senior Bowl he was considered by a lot of people to be the number one reciever in the draft. Afterwards he was considered a reach in the in third round. It is really amazing how an amazing career in the PAC 10 (which does have some bad cornerbacks) can just be put aside by one week of bad practice and game. However his route running and work ethic has been deemed excellent. Something about that just makes me think he will be successful in this league. I believe he makes the team and has at least 20 catches his rookie year. Hopefully he can learn as much from Marty Booker as possible before he takes his job
Fred Gibson: This guy is interesting. 4th round pick who gets cut and then spends the entire year on Miami's practice squad. He is a taller wide receiver at 6-4. I just don't see Miami keeping 6 recievers. Could this guy be good? I don't know. He probably has the talent. I am interested in seeing what he does in the preseason. Saved from cutting due to the fact that I cut too many players. He is tall. I like tall. It is always good to have a reciever who never active just in case one gets hurt
Cliff Russell: I like this guy. He is one of the preseason guys who look good. Then gets cut. Poor guy. CUT
Eric Kimble: I believe this guy is the son of my father's highschool coach. He hated his highschool coach. CUT
Devin Aromashodu: This is a guy with 3rd to 4th round talent and 7th round career stats. However he went to a running school and had his senior season he didn't have the greatest quarterback throwing him the ball. CKParrotHead seems to like the guy and I trust his judgement. Plus he is taller and fast. I love speed. So I believe he takes a spot on the team. However due to his name you almost wish he gets cut. How do you remember to spell that. Aro Mash Odu? I can remember Mash. What do I associate with Aro or Odu? Wait, Odu Nobunaga. I love that game.Crap it is Oda. Hmm not anymore Ok now Aro, first thing I googled was Army Research office. So now to remember to spell he will now be known as Army Research Office, Mash tv show, Odu Nobunaga first name spelled wrong. Remember that?
Jason Willis: What are you talking about WIllis? I am talking about CUTTING you.
Chris Davis: I could think of something funny to say, however that would demean us both. Well not really. He just has a really unfunny name. Ha ha, your name is normal, CUT? Is that funny?
Jamall Broussard: There is something about this guy that I want to remember. However by the time I finish looking it up, he will be CUT.
Frank Murphy: He has a shot of making the team. He has a shot of being the kick returner. I also have a shot of making love with a beautiful girl with DD's. Well I will be pulling for him to make the team now. GO FRANK!! CUT. Aww weak
. There went my shot. Tight End: I don't really want to introduce what I think of this position. So I will just type this sentence.
Randy McMichael: He is the Chris Chambers of this year. People have been waiting for him to blow up and he hasn't. He has shown big play ability though. Always made a good contribution to the team. Well lets hope that continues and he blows up this year.
Justin Peele: Sounds like a football player's name. Brought in for his blocking ability. I say he makes the team, why not?
Teyo Johnson: Very talented guy who is freaking HUGE! One of those players that if the light clicks on in his head could be one of the best in the league. However the light never came close to clicking and he is now fighting to make the Dolphins as a third tight end. However since he can play H-back, tight end and wide reciever if need be, I believe he will make the team. Saban seems to like players who can do a lot. I also believe that Saban can get this guy's light to turn on so he can turn his ability to ability on the field.
Jason Rader: Made the team in what has to be one of the worst years in Miami history for back up tight ends. Too bad Donald Lee didn't work out. Oh well. He gets CUT.
Keith Heinrich: His name reminds me of a horrible wrestler that used to be in the WWE. He needs to get cut.CUT! I hate Hiedenrich!
Offensive line: This unit went from offensive to not bad in one year. Houck did a good job of actually doing his job. I always felt the offensive line was very undercoached and then put in a position to fail. That is also a good thing about Saban, his desire to not put round pegs in square holes. He reminds me of my ancestors. Given crappy ingrediants but made them work. You don't get a crappy piece of meat and cook it for five minutes and serve it, you cook it for hours until it is tender. That is what Saban is. He is a guy who can take bad ingrediants and bring the best out of them. Still going to be hard to pick who makes the team here as he seemed to add some better ingredients.
L.J. Shelton: He isn't a guy who is going to set the world on fire. However he is a guy who could be an upgrade over the previous guy, which is really what you want. Well not really, you want a guy who can set the world on fire, however those are hard to get at Left Tackle. It is hard for me to think of one that didn't come from the first 10 picks in the last 10 years.
Vernon Carey: Someone with the ability to play the position, however does he have the smarts? Well I believe that will be finally answered this year for sure. He has had a year in the system and a coach who is really good at coaching. If he doesn't set the world on fire this year, I don't believe he ever will. He might be moved to guard. I don't know. I think he still makes the team.
Tony Pape: Quit the team last year. He has ability. I say CUT. I should of been able to make a joke with the last name Pape. Hmm, he will get Paper CUT? Eh.
Joe Toledo: I think this guy is a guard. I think this guy is going to make the team. He is going to be one of those players who make the team but will be inactive for half the season. He also has a chance of starting. He is interesting. A lot of people believe that there were better players available for Miami to pick. Obviously Saban and Muellar didn't think so. I am looking forward to seeing why.
Damion McIntosh: He is one of the players that makes this very hard. I mean he has ability to play in this league. He is more than good enough to be a back up. Due to the fact that I need one more player, I pick him. This isn't going to make sense to anyone else but me. However now I have 53 players making the team.
Orrin Thompson: This guy is as tall as he is CUT. I think I used that one before.
Anthony Alibi: I believe this guy makes the team instead of McIntosh. He is a Houck project. Plus the fact he has huge arms. I think he is going to be the primary back up at left tackle. Has a shot of claiming the starting role and moving LJ to right tackle, which could get Vernon cut and Damion makes the team. Maybe I am just reading too much into it. The Dolphin offensive line is harder to piece together than the JFK assasination. Too soon?
Mike Pearson: holy crap, another player with ability. Does he make the team or does he get cut? Show of hands. Looks like the CUTs have it. 3 to 5. You people are worse than Americans voting for mid term elections. You people, I mean the people in my head. Only a 10% voting rate. How sad.
Wade Smith: A hated player for whatever reason. Sometimes fans are funny. You take a player, put him in a position that really he shouldn't be in. Does ok for his circumstances and is now hated. He had NO business starting LT his rookie year. None whatsoever. That is a position that is hard to play for rookies who played their entire career at LT, let alone a converted tight end. Still I believe that he makes the team. Why? Maybe I am reading too much into this, but when he was hurt last year Miami immediately signed two players to replace him. I believe Houck has belief in his ability. I think he will be the primary back up center and a back up to guards.
Seth McKinney: I like this player. He is also hated. However I do believe he will be CUT.
Jeno James: A player that seemed to come on last season to be the player that people thought he could be when Miami signed him. I hope he can continue and maybe even improve
Bennie Anderson: An interesting player. One of those players who looked good, then went to a new team and looked bad and now is on another team. He is huge. I am going to be super HOMER and say that he is going to be awesome and makes the team and starts. SUPER HOMER TO THE RESCUE!!
Rex Hadnot: A player that is so easy to love. On the field he is nasty and tough and doesn't give up and is just fun to watch. Off the field he is hilarious. He is the type of player you just want to succeed because he just is so freaking likable. So I say due to my rosy colored glasses, he will start and dominate.
Joe Berger: Mmmmm Burger. CUT
C.J. Brooks: hehe he, 69. CUT
Emmanuel Akah: His last name kind of sounds like the noise Jay Sherman used to make when he coughed. CUT
Defense: I love defense.
Defensive line. I love defensive line. Go Defensive line.
Kevin Carter: I like this guy. Such a good interviewer. I wonder if he is going to be a front office guy, coach or color commentator when he retires. He is also a great football player. He seems ageless.
Jason Taylor: Awesome. Hopefully next year more awesome. He uses his powers for good and for awesome. He is like some kind of robot.
Matt Roth: Someone who people seemed to expect the world from and yet when he wasn't able to deliver on their HUGE expectations was a huge disappointment in a lot of eyes. What I saw was a player that I thought was going to be good at pass rushing but weak against the run be completely the opposite. He was good against the run but a weak pass rusher. I am looking forward to seeing what he can do this year.
David Bowens: The only player on the team that has the ability to back up Jason Taylor. He is a very good back up player. I love watching him play. He could be a starter on a few teams out there or at least the 3rd guy in a heavy rotation. Some of the players cut should look at his career as a reason to never give up if you have the ability.
Ben Ishola: With a last name like Ishola he has to be tough. CUT.
Vonny Holliday: Someone who should of been drafted years ago instead of John Avery. Did well last year. Hopefully he will continue to do well.
Manuel Wright: An interesting player. On one hand he looks lazy as hell. At the other hand he seems to be willing to do the work it takes to be good. What do I mean? I mean when he is at camp after the crying incident he seems to be a hard worker. He just doesn't seem to get it that football is now a year round sport. There was a time where you could gain 30 pounds in the 2 months you have "off" and use the training camps as a time to work that off. Now you can't do that. What I read is he has lost a decent amount of weight and that he has been working extra hard to keep on losing it. I just imagined that he is a young kid who after a long year of taking a lot of crap and going through a lot just wanted to escape for a couple of months at home. Well he has all the ability to be a good if not great player in this league. Sometimes he does look unblockable. Maybe I am just the type of fan that loves to give a player the benefit of the doubt for the first two years of their career as a Phin.
Keith Traylor: IMO he was over used last year due to the fact that his back up was Zgonia. He looked fine last year. Hopefully someone will step up and be able to go in rotation with him at NT.
Jeff Zgonia: I believe I have had him cut every year I have done this. Every year I have been wrong. Someday I will be right. CUT. Gotta go with the law of averages.
Kevin Vickerson: His biggest fan last year seemed to be Kevin Carter. I think Kevin Carter is a very smart football player. So I am going to bow down to his wisdom and say that Kevin is in for a big year of backing up and maybe working his way into the rotation. I can see the headlines now. VICKerson Makes the Dolphins.
Josh Shaw: Man this is taking forever. I wonder what the record is for the most time a player was cut from one team in one year. I wonder if he broke Pruitt's record for the phins. I thought he looked good in preseason. One thing the Rock has taught me is, IT DOES'T MATTER WHAT I THINK! CUT again, brought back, CUT, brought back, CUT, brought back, CUT. He is like the Jesus of the Dolphins. Always popping up on tacos and driveways.
Howard Green: HOWard DOESard ITard FEELard TOard BEard CUTard. Can you crack the code?
Roderique Wright: Poster boy of not going back for another year in college if you are seen as a top 10 pick. Holy crap how one year makes a HUGE difference. I believe he will go on IR. That is what all signs point to.
Steve Fifita: I am going out on a limb and saying he makes the team and makes an impact at NT. Why not? Only my credibility is on the line. Since you have read this much you should know how much that is worth. I don't believe I could get a dollar chip at vegas for my credibility.
Fred Evans: Practice squad potential. Someone who for some reason was drafted ahead of Roderique Wright. How did that guy fall that far? However makes the team due to my bad cutting frenzy. Sheesh I am like Homer Simpson out here.
Linebackers. What do you get when you cross a line with a backer? A lawyer. haha ha ha.
Zach Thomas: Someone who just doesn't stop aging. Holy crap he was great last year. I believe he will be great this year. Great knowledge of the game. Great work ethic. He is so likeable. Heck he even looks like the lovable Barney Rubble. Who doesn't like Barney? For someone who people don't think is the perfect fit for Saban's defense, he really seems to be the perfect fit for Saban's defense. I guess Saban's defense works with smart linebackers with great insticts. Who would of thought?
Channing Crowder: If there was a contest of weirdest names in the NFL he has a chance of winning. I bet he would have fun in Boston. Park the car Crowda. He looked good as a rookie last year. He might be even better next year. I am looking forward to seeing this guy play.
Donnie Spragan: A smart player with ability. I am running out of steam.
Derrick Pope: a player many people thought would be cut last year, however he looked pretty good last year when he subbed in for Zach. A good special teams player and a good back up. Also probably a good practice player for the offense.
Eddie Moore: A player who when isn't injured is a good player. In fact he would be the perfect player as a nickle linebacker. However he just can't remain uninjured. Maybe he needs more calcium in his diet? The fact that he is still on the team should tell you something. I think that if he remains healthy he makes the team. However history is not on his side, CUT or IR.
Keith Newman: A linebacker who is good at blitzing. I like him. I think he will do good things.
Sederick Hodge: Since Eddie Moore is hurt, the position is his now. A fast linebacker who just didn't live up to his potential. Lets hope he does that now.
Mike Labinjo: Ever read a roster and go, "who?" I just did. CUT
Mike Sinclair: Mmmm Eclairs. CUT. I am hungry
Travis Harris: What does Travis Harris and Nicole Brown Simpson, wait, I should just stop. CUT.
Sam McGrew: more like Sam McCut. I don't believe McDonalds is going to sell that one. NOW would hate it. Somehow it would be violence against women like the throat cut celebration. I don't understand women.
Trent Bray: I never heard of him. So CUT. If I didn't hear of him he must be cut.
Secondary: Talk about a unit that has changed a lot. Talk about a summary that sucks.
Jason Allen: A player that seemed so obvious that he was not a sexy pick. However when you read how athletic he is, the pick is very sexy. Then you look at his uninjured years and he seems like he could be a steal. Big fast safties seem to be the way of the future in the NFL.
Yeremiah Bell: I love speed. This guy has some and more. Plus he has a great burst. You can see that when he sacked the quarterback last year. I believe he will be the starting safty. If he isn't he will at least be in the rotation. Good chance of being the dime back again.
Norman LeJeune: I will not make a French joke. I will be respectful and not used this as an opportunity to call them frogs. Still I think this guy will be CUT like some froglegs. MMmmm Frog legs.
Renaldo Hill: An interesting player. Actually played linebacker on goalline for the Raiders. He will be part of the rotation I believe. I think he will get some playing time.
Deke Cooper: A player that has a shot at starting.
Traveres Tillman: A player with ability. An ability to be CUT.
Siddeeq Shabazz: He is the Shazam of the team. SHABAZZ, you got CUT. That doesn't make any sense.
Jack Hunt: I wonder if I made a Mike joke last year? CUT
Will Allen: A player that I don't think will be worse than Madison in this defense. I believe he is better suited than Madison.
Travis Daniels: A player who started last year and has a shot of being the Nickleback this year. Has more ability than people give him credit far. Needs to improve his hips.
Will Poole: Fan favorite for starting. Looked good his rookie year. Well not any better than Daniels, however don't tell some people that. Their heads will explode.
Art Thomas: Is the Leonardo De Vinci of CUT
Shirdonya Mitchell: From what I read has a chance of being in the return game if he is recovered from his injury. Interested in seeing how he works out.
Eddie Jackson: More like Eddie CUTson. Talk about going to the well too many times. No one is laughing. It is not even that funny of a joke. Ooo he just took his last name and added cut. He is so funny. Ha ha ha ha ha. Stop mocking me jerk. You waste a night of your life doing this. I DARE YOU! Well not really. I don't want to read it. Even though I probably will. GO PHINS!
Andre Goodman: A good year to not be cut.
Michael Lehan: Lehan, there is something funny about that last name. maybe I am just thinking of the runaway bride. He will runaway cut? How that is that funny. He will be the victem of Chainfire. No one will get that reference. A no prize who can get where I was going with that one. CUT.
Special teams: what is the fun in this?
Donnie Jones: Makes the team. Hopefully improves.
Thomas Olmstead: Who, what, where, why, how? did I miss any. Wow debating punters is as interesting as hearing a hot woman tell you why she can't sleep with you.
Olindo Mare: Hopefully improves his accuracy. Great kick off guy.
Ola Kimrin: It is like they are making up names. CUT
John Denny: Long snapper. ooo this fun to talk about. As much fun to talk about as that one time I got a rash from running to much and the ointment I used to get rid of it.
There you go. I am all done. If you read all this, I am impressed by your lack of better things to do. Sometimes I wonder if Saban reads this if he think I am just stupid or mentally ******ed. Actually if he thought either, I win, because he read it. GO PHINS!!
