Schleckbaum
Scout Team
BREAKING NEWS: AP- MIAMI Inside sources indicate that the State Department has recently initiated a high-level probe into reports of an international criminal link in the recent retirement announcement by Miami Dolphins runningback Ricky Williams. The recently resurrected former Canadian PM and evil super-genius Pierre Trudeau is believed to be involved. Reports of logistical support provided by Adolf Hitler's brain have not yet been substantiated although traces of formaldehyde have been detected on a spliff found off of Ft. Lauderdale Beach, FL. Sources close to Williams report that a spontaneous one-way trip to an undisclosed Asian destination may be an attempt to create a modern-day Serpentor using the DNA of deceased Cambodian dictator Pol Pot. Cobra Commander has denied this claim and has instead suggested that Williams' Asian trek is an ill-advised attempt to locate Carmen San Diego - wire Sun Jul 25, 4:52 AM ET
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