Bryant McKinnie gives back to the South Florida Community

[AFCMiamiEast]

Aother bill came due for Dolphins tackle Bryant McKinnie recently. He settled up with Trick Daddy's daddy over $150,000 in unpaid lap dances at Miami's King of Diamonds strip club, owned by the elder Daddy. That's a lot of money, way more than just a casual after work twerk here and there. In fact, it's sort of hard to comprehend. $150,000 worth of lap dances needs some perspective.
Fortunately, someone else ran the numbers for us.

ason La Canfora ✔ @JasonLaCanfora
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@theNFLchick @bomani_jones rough estimate: 4000 dances @ 5min/song=333 hours on his lap and that's not even accounting for extended remixes
9:03 AM - 20 May 2014


Bomani Jones ✔ @bomani_jones
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@JasonLaCanfora @theNFLchick take that estimate closer to 3. they’ll even speed the song up to get it closer to 3. #momoneymomoneymomoney
9:05 AM - 20 May 2014







FYI, that comes out to about $37.50 per lap dance.
At five minutes per song, it's 333 hours, nearly 14 days, worth of lap dances. At three minutes per song, it's 200 hours, 8 days, worth of entertainment.

• The trip from Moscow to Valdivostock, a distance of 6,500 miles, takes two weeks on the Trans-Siberian Railroad. Two weeks on a train with Vladimir Putin watching doesn't sound very fun, but if there was a non-stop series of lap dances the entire way ...
• Eight days a week, like the Beatles song (which is probably not on the playlist at King of Diamonds).
• By some estimates the world was created in six days, with a seventh day for resting and/or lap dancing.
• The world record for longest pole dance is 30 hours. King of Diamonds and McKinnie kind of missed their shot at the Guinness record book.
• You have exactly 14 days to return products to the Apple store, which probably doesn't apply if the bouncer breaks your iPhone for taking pictures during 200 hours of lap dances.

What else could you do or what else has been accomplished in 8-14 days?

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2014/5/20/5734270/bryant-mckinnie-strip-club-mathematics

 

[Gonzo]

Trying to figure out why so many end up broke and suing for scraps after their NFL careers are over...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Spesh]

Anyone still confused as to why McKinnie was publicly campaigning to get another contract in South Florida?

Those young women aren't going to be able to pay for community college on their own.

 

[xXwarXx]

I wonder at what point the club decoded to finally ask for it's $. Allowing 150k worth in lap dances seems crazy. Maybe that's just how they get down over there, I dunno.

 

[Vaark]

WhatcanUdo? These 1099 strippers don't give corporate discounts like Jona Martin did. :idk:

 

[NorFlaFin]

 

[DolfanDuBbZ~]

So much for the war on women.

 

[roy_miami]

Could have been epic if he was charging those lap dances to Jon Martin's account.

 

[dabeastdabone]

And he came in pretty much after the Martin debacle. What a (another) idiot.

Why wouldn't these guys pay as they go? Why leave these kind of tracks?

 

[Spesh]

And he came in pretty much after the Martin debacle. What a (another) idiot.

Why wouldn't these guys pay as they go? Why leave these kind of tracks?

He wasn't thinking clearly, he was all hopped up on Cinnabon at the time.

 

[J. David Wannyheimer]

Those young women aren't going to be able to pay for community college on their own.

Hey, man, what the ****? Don't stereotype like that. Some of those strippers are in grad school!

(Seriously.)

 

[Gonzo]

Hey, man, what the ****? Don't stereotype like that. Some of those strippers are in grad school!

(Seriously.)

Getting their Master of Fine Arts.

 

[Spesh]

Hey, man, what the ****? Don't stereotype like that. Some of those strippers are in grad school!

(Seriously.)

Apologies, that was wrong. I'll amend the statement:

Those young women aren't going to be able to pay for community college/their boyfriends bail/the general cost that an "aspiring actress" racks up/grad school by themselves.

Improved?

 

[J. David Wannyheimer]

:up:

Getting their Master of Fine Arts.

Hey, I knew a girl who worked at a strip club near the university who was in the same graduate program as me. She was honestly pretty smart, too.

:idk:

 

[Daytona Fin]

I wonder if one of Mckinnies community pledges went to this Tootsie's gem?

Miami strip club Tootsie’s Cabaret is hitting the news hard in 2014. Hernandez, Incognito, and now an alleged Tootsie’s stripper who began exposing herself and masturbating after getting arrested this week. It all started when police were investigating a stolen iPad, and came across Lakeisha Johnson hopping fences in West Park. Via the Smoking Gun:

When police sought to question Johnson, she started “using extremely vulgar language and began removing clothing,” according to a police report. Johnson was subsequently arrested after she slapped a cop’s arm and yelled, “Don’t touch me, bitch!”

This gets way better.

Johnson, who told police she worked at Tootsie’s Cabaret, an upscale Miami strip club, was then transported to jail, where she treated guards to a lewd performance. Johnson removed her clothes and “exposed her vagina, anus, and breasts.” Officer Juan Canino added that, “On several occasions, the female licked her breast and masturbated.”

I think you’d lick your own breast too if it got you out of prison. Too bad it didn’t, even with Miami cops.

At one point, Johnson also allegedly told Canino, “I’ll suck your dick if you let me go.”

http://www.pageqsports.com/2014/05/...d-breasts-in-jail-offers-blowjob-for-release/

[video=youtube;6BLsmWja0XE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6BLsmWja0XE[/video]