MarinoEqualsGod
The man, the myth, the legend
I was on the bears message board all last week and made a couple bets with some of their members (cool guys). One was with this guy. Loser had to start a new thread each day this week on a topic about the other team and it's great history. Here's his post from the start of his thread today...I almost fell out of my chair laughing...:sidelol:
Quote:
Originally Posted by onemanswarm
In the history of athletic competition, there has never been a white athlete more skilled or more accomplished than Daniel Constantine Marino, Jr.
During his illustrious career, Dan Marino earned the nicknames "Dan the Man," "The Chosen One," and "The Man With The Golden Testicles."
Dan Marino once threw a pass so pretty that Mark Duper had to turn away from it and hide his eyes in reverence. He later said, "When the ball reached its apex, a bright light exploded from the laces and swirled around in a holy spiral. It was like that scene in Raiders."
Dan Marino splattered his names through the NFL record books the way I splatter baby batter on my wife's back when she forgets to take her pill.
Shannon Sharpe actually enunciates incredibly well. It is only by comparison to Dan Marino that he appears to have a wet mouth.
Dan Marino's smile is so charming, that women often describe an urge to remove their pants upon entering an area which Marino recently vacated.
In his autobiography "Joe is Me," former San Francisco quarterback Joe Montana wrote, "I once encountered Dan Marino in the bathroom during a United Way fund raiser. Though I stood two urinals away, it was impossible to ignore his ginormous manhood. By comparison, I have a ******." (p.56)
The film Ace Ventura grossed $17,217,000 in the United States. $16,922,487 of that total has been attributed solely to the on-screen performance of Dan Marino.
In November of 1994, coroners' records show that 927 residents of New York perished as a direct result of the famous "Clock! Clock!" play, engineered by Marino precisely as he had envisioned it in his dreams the night before.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onemanswarm
In the history of athletic competition, there has never been a white athlete more skilled or more accomplished than Daniel Constantine Marino, Jr.
During his illustrious career, Dan Marino earned the nicknames "Dan the Man," "The Chosen One," and "The Man With The Golden Testicles."
Dan Marino once threw a pass so pretty that Mark Duper had to turn away from it and hide his eyes in reverence. He later said, "When the ball reached its apex, a bright light exploded from the laces and swirled around in a holy spiral. It was like that scene in Raiders."
Dan Marino splattered his names through the NFL record books the way I splatter baby batter on my wife's back when she forgets to take her pill.
Shannon Sharpe actually enunciates incredibly well. It is only by comparison to Dan Marino that he appears to have a wet mouth.
Dan Marino's smile is so charming, that women often describe an urge to remove their pants upon entering an area which Marino recently vacated.
In his autobiography "Joe is Me," former San Francisco quarterback Joe Montana wrote, "I once encountered Dan Marino in the bathroom during a United Way fund raiser. Though I stood two urinals away, it was impossible to ignore his ginormous manhood. By comparison, I have a ******." (p.56)
The film Ace Ventura grossed $17,217,000 in the United States. $16,922,487 of that total has been attributed solely to the on-screen performance of Dan Marino.
In November of 1994, coroners' records show that 927 residents of New York perished as a direct result of the famous "Clock! Clock!" play, engineered by Marino precisely as he had envisioned it in his dreams the night before.
:sidelol: :sidelol: 
