College joke thread | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

College joke thread

F

finswin56

Okay, I need a little pick-me-up after the Auburn loss. So I've got a few jokes for you.

Why does the St. John's river flow north (most rivers in the northern hemisphere flow south btw)?


Because Georgia sucks.

Why does Tennesse where that aweful shade of orange?


So that they can wear for games on Saturday, wear hunting on Sundays, and wear it picking up trash the rest of the week.

and my favorite...
How do you get a FSU graduate off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza :D
 
Michigan.........


.."you go north till you smell it..........west until you step in it"
 
A Pittsburgh graduate, a Ohio State graduate, and a Penn State graduate are all using urinals in the mens rooms.

The Pitt graduate finishes, goes over and washes his hands very well using lots of soap and water, and says "at Pitt, they teach us to be clean".

The Ohio State graduate finishes peeing, and washes his hands with a very small amount of soap and water and says "at Ohio State they teach us how conserve resources".

The Penn State graduate finishes and walks right towards the door. On his way out he says "At Penn State they teach us not to piss on our hands".
 
What's the difference between and Owl and a Golden Panther?

An Owl is smart enough not to go out in a Hurricane.
 
PSUFinFan said:
A Pittsburgh graduate, a Ohio State graduate, and a Penn State graduate are all using urinals in the mens rooms.

The Pitt graduate finishes, goes over and washes his hands very well using lots of soap and water, and says "at Pitt, they teach us to be clean".

The Ohio State graduate finishes peeing, and washes his hands with a very small amount of soap and water and says "at Ohio State they teach us how conserve resources".

The Penn State graduate finishes and walks right towards the door. On his way out he says "At Penn State they teach us not to piss on our hands".
Click to expand...
:lol:

For the Auburn fans:

How can you tell if an Alabama student has a girlfriend?

There's tobacco spit stains on both sides of the pick-up.
 
[FONT=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Auburn joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Auburn fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Auburn fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Auburn fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Auburn joke?" The guy says, "Nah." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times.[/FONT][/FONT]
 
PSUFinFan said:
A Pittsburgh graduate, a Ohio State graduate, and a Penn State graduate are all using urinals in the mens rooms.

The Pitt graduate finishes, goes over and washes his hands very well using lots of soap and water, and says "at Pitt, they teach us to be clean".

The Ohio State graduate finishes peeing, and washes his hands with a very small amount of soap and water and says "at Ohio State they teach us how conserve resources".

The Penn State graduate finishes and walks right towards the door. On his way out he says "At Penn State they teach us not to piss on our hands".
Click to expand...


lmao. thats pretty funny. im gonna have to use that one.
 
and to my most hated University:

Why can't the Hurricanes player get into a huddle on the field anymore?
It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
 
Kev83 said:
[FONT=arial,helvetica,sans-serif][FONT=arial,helvetica,sans-serif]A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Auburn joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Auburn fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Auburn fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Auburn fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Auburn joke?" The guy says, "Nah." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times.[/FONT][/FONT]
Click to expand...
:sidelol:
 
Marino2Clayton said:
Whats the difference between a cow and a Bama cheerleader?

50lbs and a mustache
Click to expand...
:chuckle: Man, I've been wanting to share that UT joke with you for a while. I'll be waiting for a good UF zinger.
 
23Ronnie23 said:
For UM fans:
Uf sucks but....






FSU swallows
Click to expand...

:dotdot: :grouplaug


How do you stop a bulldog from *********ing....paint it's dick orange and blue and it won't be able to beat it for 13 years.
 
This one isreally lame, but oh well.

How does a handicapped person find a spot to park. They tell Chris Rix to move his ****ing car.

This ones a different kind of joke, also kinda lame.

2)Bobby Bowden annoucned today the Seminoles will have a new logo. A Garnet Seminole wearing gold handcuffs.
 
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