Since I don’t live anywhere close to South Florida I most likely miss a lot of Fin news and noise, other than this board.
can someone tell me what Dan Marino does with the organization.
Does he have any interaction with fans or news outlets I can folllow?
I would love to know what he feels about the team.
Thank You
Dan Marino once shattered the space-time continuum. He felt so bad, he put it back together.
Mission Impossible was originally set in Dan Marino’s house.
Dan Marino uses pepper spray to season his meat.
Dan Marino plays Jenga with Stonehenge.
Dan Marino is able to slam a revolving door.
Dan Marino has a diary, it is called the Guinness Book Of Quaterback Records.
Dan Marino can dribble a bowling ball.
When the Tooth fairy comes to your house she takes your tooth and gives you money. When Dan Marino comes to your house he breaks your tooth and takes your money.
Dan Marino won an arm wrestling tournament, with both arms tied behind his back.
When Dan Marino lifts weights, the weights get in shape.
If Dan Marino were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Dan Marino and they both fought, they would both win.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Dan Marino.
The flu gets a Dan Marino shot every year.
Chuck doesn't need to throw out the trash, it always throws itself out.
Dan Marino is the reason that Wally is always hiding.
Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Dan Marino walking in the mountains.
Dan Marino doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
When Dan Marino plays dodgeball, the balls dodge him.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Dan Marino.
When Dan Marino's parents had nightmares, they would come to his bedroom.
Dan Marino doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Dan Marino makes onions cry.
Ghosts tell Dan Marino stories at the campfire.
The Flash discovered how to run at the speed of light when he discovered Dan Marino was looking for him.
Dan Marino doesn't negotiate with terrorists. The terrorists negotiate with Dan Marino.
When Dan Marino looked into the abyss, the abyss looked the other way.
Dan Marino made a Happy Meal cry.
Aliens are real. They are just hiding from Dan Marino.
Dan Marino v. Nature Jokes
Dan Marino beat the sun in a staring contest.
Dan Marino destroyed the periodic table, because Dan Marino only recognizes the element of surprise.
Dan Marino doesn’t breathe, he holds air hostage.
Dan Marino wrecked his bicycle and skinned the sidewalk with his knee.
Dan Marino does not get frostbite. Dan Marino bites frost.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Dan Marino can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.
There has never been a hurricane named Dan Marino because it would have destroyed everything.
When Dan Marino enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Dan Marino can build a snowman out of rain.
Dan Marino can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
If Dan Marino was on The Titanic the iceberg would have dodged the ship.
The sun has to wear sunglasses when Dan Marino glances at it.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Dan Marino allows to live.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Dan Marino can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
The dinosaurs looked at Dan Marino the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
If you want a list of Dan Marino’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Once a cobra bit Dan Marino’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Dan Marino.
Dan Marino doesn't need to wear a watch, he simply decides what time it is.
It takes Dan Marino 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Dan Marino can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Dan Marino once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
Dan Marino' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Dan Marino.
Dan Marino found the last digit of pi.
Dan Marino can divide by zero.
When Dan Marino does division, there are no remainders.
Dan Marino has counted to infinity more than once.
Miscellaneous Dan Marino Jokes
Dan Marino does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
Dan Marino is able to sketch your portrait using an eraser.
Dan Marino does not sleep. He waits.
Dan Marino can unscramble an egg.
Dan Marino is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Dan Marino can make a slinky go upstairs.
Dan Marino tells Simon what to do.
When Dan Marino looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters. Because not even glass is dumb enough to get in between Dan Marino and Dan Marino.
Dan Marino can hear sign language.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Dan Marino says it’s beef, then it’s beef.
Dan Marino’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Champions are the breakfast of Dan Marino.
Dan Marino can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Dan Marino can kill your imaginary friends.
When Dan Marino goes to a restaurant, the waiter tips him.
When Dan Marino uses the internet he can skip ads whenever he wants, ads are not able to skip Dan Marino.
The Loch Ness Monster claims to have seen Dan Marino.
When Thanos snapped his fingers, he disappeared. Dan Marino doesn't like snapping.
Dan Marino knows Victoria’s secret.
When Dan Marino enters a building that is on fire, the Dan Marino alarm rings.
Dan Marino has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
When police officers approach Dan Marino they say "we have the right to remain silent".
The Swiss Army uses Dan Marino Knives.
Dan Marino can speak Braille.
Dan Marino doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone.
Death once had a near-Dan-Marino experience.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Dan Marino. There were no survivors.
Dan Marino doesn’t shower, he only takes blood baths.
When Dan Marino gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Dan Marino plays Russian roulette with a fully loaded revolver. And wins.
Dan Marino can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Dan Marino once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
On the 7th day, God rested. Then, Dan Marino took over.
Dan Marino has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
If you spell Dan Marino in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Dan Marino once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Dan Marino can touch MC Hammer.
Dan Marino’ email address is
Gmail@chucknorris.com
Dan Marino’s GPS never tells him to turn around.
When Dan Marino was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
When Dan Marino was born, he drove his Mother home from the hospital.
Dan Marino once bowled a perfect game with a marble.
