First round NFL draft, two months early | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

First round NFL draft, two months early

Feverdream

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I just got back from the future... yes, I have a time machine. Here's how the draft will go. (I hope this wasn't one of those alternate future things)

1. Jags: Trevor Lawrence was taken after the Jaguars took their entire time on the clock. They sold lots of merch during that time.
2. Jesters: First the team announced that they have changed their name to this more accurate tag, and then they selected Zach Wilson
3. 49rs: (through Miami): In a bit of a surprise, the 49rs selected Trey Lance, sending Miami 5 draft picks for the privilege.
4. Falcons: Rushed to the podium and selected Justin Fields. No one buys their merch anyway.
5. Bengals: Showing the value of patience when you are in the five spot, the Bungles got their man in Penei Sewell.
6: Eagles: Having lost almost all of their WRs in the offseason, the Eagles quickly selected Ja'marr Chase, even though they were surprised his name had an apostrophe in it.
7. Lions: Caleb Farley was selected after some dithering over the WR pool.
8. Texans: As part of the major draft pick haul they got from the Panthers for DeShaun Watson, the Texans selected Rashawn Slater as their fans threw garbage at the Commissioner.
9. Broncos: Selected Patrick Surtain II as John Elway drunkenly insisted that he knew QBs better than anybody and Drew Lock is gonna be a star.
10. Cowboys: Still trying to fix their drug-addled Defensive Line, the Cowboys selected Kwitty Paye, though after paying Dak Prescott, they may not have the money to actually pay Paye.
11. Giants stopped the fall of DeVonta Smith, claiming they after drafting their QB, they have given up on prototypes.
12: Dolphins: Grier and Flores took their entire clock trying to trade down once again, before saying the Hell with it, Jaylen Waddle.
13. Dolphins: The attempted trade down having been a smokescreen, the Dolphins gave up only part of what they'd received in their trade down from #3 to trade back up in the 13th spot for Micah Parsons.
14: Vikings: In a bit of a surprise, the Vikings took what may have been their biggest need and selected Wyatt Davis.
15: Patriots: After making sure that he was part Polish, the Bellicheats selected Kyle Pitts.
16: Cardinals: Needed an Edge, got an Edge with Gregory Rousseau.
17: Raiders: Ran to the podium before they lost Zaven Collins to fix their horrible defense.
18: Chargers: Their trade down worked like a charm, they still hit their target, Christian Darrisaw.
19: Football Team: Still without a name as the league has rejected their top three selections, they instead selected a player with three names, Alijah Vera-Tucker.
20. Da Bears: Told that they could not re-select Mike Ditka as his eligibility had expired, Da Bears instead took Rashod Bateman from nearby Minnesota.
21: Colts: Still confused by Luck's retirement, the Colts select a lineman to protect him in said retirement, Jalen Mayfield.
22: Titans: Wanted an Edge, but instead selected Christian Barmore, and chose to wait til the second round for their edge prospect.
23: Jesters: Could have gone anywhere with this pick, but in a reasonable move, selected Assante Samuel Jr. Their fans booed lustily, still wanting a Running Back.
24: Steelers: Jaycee Horn was selected and the Steelers fans wanted to know if he plays Quarterback.
25: Jaguars: Attempted to trade down as most of their targets were gone, but ultimately settled on Jaelen Phillips to fortify their defense.
26: Browns: The Browns are boring, so they took they least exciting player they could think of, Daviyon Nixon.
27. Ravens: Fully aware that their QB isn't the best passer in the league, the Ravens took a target that didn't require deep passes, Pat Friermuth.
28: Saints: Having lost half their team to the salary cap, the Saints start their rebuild with Mac Jones.
29: Packers: Finally select a WR, Terrance Marshall, Rodgers rolls his eyes in disgust.
30:Jills: Following up on the Chiefs move from a year ago, the Bills realize they are a deep team and can overpay for a Running Back, Travis Etienne.
31: Chiefs: Belatedly realizing that having a few more linemen might help their high-flying offense, the Chiefs selected Alex Leatherwood.
32: Bucs: Remembering the heydays of Brady to Welker, the Bucs selected Kadarious Toney.

I absolutely assure you that THIS is how it will go. Cross my heart...
 

Ikema

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Please no trade up for Miami
Something about these kinds of posts make me scratch my head. I'm not quite sure what your point is. Is it… You don't want to trade up? Or you're hoping to convince the FO, or you're hoping to convince the website for a massive consciousness in the hopes of controlling the minds of the FO?
After all I'm pretty sure the FO doesn't give a crap what we think. You would save a lot of energy by just sitting tight and watching, but that's just my opinion.:cool:
 

Kebo

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Something about these kinds of posts make me scratch my head. I'm not quite sure what your point is. Is it… You don't want to trade up? Or you're hoping to convince the FO, or you're hoping to convince the website for a massive consciousness in the hopes of controlling the minds of the FO?
After all I'm pretty sure the FO doesn't give a crap what we think. You would save a lot of energy by just sitting tight and watching, but that's just my opinion.:cool:
Yet you wasted all that energy responding? Lol
 

SF Dolphin Fan

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How fast were you driving in that DeLorean?

Parsons and Surtain are two players I think are wildcard picks for Miami.

Parsons if you're comfortable with his character. Surtain if the Dolphins hit road blocks with X. Howard. We know Flores loves corners.

Would love Waddle. He fits what the Dolphins need. Could definitely see SF as a trade partner.
 

Joe Dolfan

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You didn't happen to catch the lottery numbers, did you? I've never bought a ticket, but if I knew the numbers...

Edit: I don't have the numbers to back it up, but I'd say the Falcons are 2nd, behind Raiders, in wannabe gangbanger jersey sales.
 

Feverdream

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You didn't happen to catch the lottery numbers, did you? I've never bought a ticket, but if I knew the numbers...

Edit: I don't have the numbers to back it up, but I'd say the Falcons are 2nd, behind Raiders, in wannabe gangbanger jersey sales.
You stop that right now... reality has no place is this.
 

Feverdream

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How fast were you driving in that DeLorean?

Parsons and Surtain are two players I think are wildcard picks for Miami.

Parsons if you're comfortable with his character. Surtain if the Dolphins hit road blocks with X. Howard. We know Flores loves corners.

Would love Waddle. He fits what the Dolphins need. Could definitely see SF as a trade partner.
I'm not sure what to make of his character... I know that PCmor who has covered him for years thinks he's a flake... and he may be, but I've been calling for him to slide for months... and that was before most of the bad press.

He does have a world of talent however and I think we might be at a position where we can take one high maintenance player...

The Patriots took the occasional nut, and I suspect Flores might take the risk.
 

Feverdream

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That was the most fantasy based mock ever 😂
Heh!

Sadly, that was my best effort. I actually looked up the other teams and tried to define their needs...

Obviously... it won't be any more accurate than anyone else's... but it was fun to do.
 

juniorseau55

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Heh!

Sadly, that was my best effort. I actually looked up the other teams and tried to define their needs...

Obviously... it won't be any more accurate than anyone else's... but it was fun to do.
It was fun to read lol. Parsons and waddle would be a dream.
 

Kebo

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We should do one of these after free agency as a community. Make a rule that three posters have to agree on the pick before it is official.
 

Feverdream

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I'm always game for stuff like this... I used to do the annual FFL ratings for everyone's teams back at the Herald... that must have been almost 30 years ago now.
I had a Mel Kiper Avatar and everything... lol... I tried to be as rude as possible and get the other players all shook up.
 
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