infiltrateib
TV Doctor
Harrington Kicked Out Of Friend's House For Improper PS3 Conduct
Joey Harrington had to be physically escorted out of his old college roommate's house after what nearly became a physical altercation.
Harrington and Mike Lemley, 25, were midway through the second quarter of a game of Madden 2007 when Harrington fired an ill-advised pass over the middle that was intercepted. Lemley, who had been playing LB and adding coverage support on a crossing Marty Booker, easily stepped in front of Booker for the pick. Harrington promptly "slipped" 7 feet across the living room and pressed the restart button. Lemley made a sarcastic comment, and Harrington balked. "Well, I just said, 'Another 'duck'... four times in a row now, huh?' and he sort of flipped," remarked Lemley. Harrington shot back that it was "only practice anyway" and that "the computer is so stupid." Things quickly escalated when Lemley attempted to wrestle the controller away from Joey, who shrieked at the attacks on his "piano hand." Harrington stood up, danced around nervously, and then hurled his wireless controller at Lemley's brand new Plasma TV. Luckily, the controller slipped from his hand and landed safely on a nearby couch.
The situation resolved itself when Lemley's younger sister Erin escorted Harrington from the premises. Nick Saban could not be reached for comment, but sources close to him looked around nervously and had absolutely nothing to say.
Hagan Hires Dreamworks For Promotional Video
Derek Hagan, a Miami Dolphins third-round pick, has entered into a deal with Dreamworks Pictures to produce his "Miami Dolphins Highlight Reel" which he will use to campaign for employment after his release. He indicated he would prefer to be a Bear, because they "have claws," or a Falcon, because they "drop balls." Dreamworks expects to use "extensive CGI" to "highlight--or digitally create--Derek's fantastical journey as a Miami Dolphins WR." Hagan added that given the usual 5-7 minute average lengths of these promotional videos, he will have to add "a couple minutes" of his home fishing movies. Hagan's deal is expected to include a cameo role as "Allie the Alligator-Armed Man" in Dreamworks' next picture, "Modern Age."
Jason Taylor Celebrates 103rd Sack, 230th Seemingly-Scary-But-Ultimately-Insignificant Injury
Jason Taylor cemented his role as the most decorated, and most bruised, Miami DE this Sunday afternoon. Taylor used a double move on LT Khalif Barnes for an impressive sack on Jaguars QB Gerrard, but injured various follicles on his left forearm in the process. "I don't really know what happened," remarked Taylor. "It was sort of a blur. I just remember flying by him and then feeling hairs literally ripped out of my forearm. You have no idea how bad that hurts." Taylor left the game for a play, allowing him to visit the lockerroom and "put some Neutrogena on it." Taylor has now only missed 230 total plays in his career, most of them due to rheumatoid arthritis, warts, psoriasis, and sweating.
Other Notes:
Will Allen Tackles Illiteracy - Will Allen has made quite a few plays in his 6-year NFL career, but now he's on to tackle illiteracy. Acknowledging that "defeating it would be too difficult," Allen vowed to "let it keep going for a while and then eventually, and slowly, bring it down."
Matt Roth Frustrated At Chris Chambers Being Frustrated - Matt Roth, flexing his biceps to reveal the myriad of colors tattooed on his arms, became frustrated at Chris Chambers not dropping that he was frustrated with his catches despite the fact he was dropping his catches. The situation was diffused, however, as Chris extended one arm to hold Roth's forehead as he futilely swung his sixteen inch tyrannosaurus arms. Nick Saban refused to comment, but sources believe he will have them both killed with polonium-210.
Travis Minor Missing - Despite Ronnie Brown's injury, former 3rd round pick Travis Minor was nowhere to be seen on the Miami sidelines. Although he raised his hand as "present" on the team bus, he and Toniu Fonoti went to go "get some hot dogs or something" and never returned. Toniu had no comment, but was sporting "an extra couple pounds" a brand new fingerbone necklace that he "got on Overstock."
Joey Harrington had to be physically escorted out of his old college roommate's house after what nearly became a physical altercation.
Harrington and Mike Lemley, 25, were midway through the second quarter of a game of Madden 2007 when Harrington fired an ill-advised pass over the middle that was intercepted. Lemley, who had been playing LB and adding coverage support on a crossing Marty Booker, easily stepped in front of Booker for the pick. Harrington promptly "slipped" 7 feet across the living room and pressed the restart button. Lemley made a sarcastic comment, and Harrington balked. "Well, I just said, 'Another 'duck'... four times in a row now, huh?' and he sort of flipped," remarked Lemley. Harrington shot back that it was "only practice anyway" and that "the computer is so stupid." Things quickly escalated when Lemley attempted to wrestle the controller away from Joey, who shrieked at the attacks on his "piano hand." Harrington stood up, danced around nervously, and then hurled his wireless controller at Lemley's brand new Plasma TV. Luckily, the controller slipped from his hand and landed safely on a nearby couch.
The situation resolved itself when Lemley's younger sister Erin escorted Harrington from the premises. Nick Saban could not be reached for comment, but sources close to him looked around nervously and had absolutely nothing to say.
Hagan Hires Dreamworks For Promotional Video
Derek Hagan, a Miami Dolphins third-round pick, has entered into a deal with Dreamworks Pictures to produce his "Miami Dolphins Highlight Reel" which he will use to campaign for employment after his release. He indicated he would prefer to be a Bear, because they "have claws," or a Falcon, because they "drop balls." Dreamworks expects to use "extensive CGI" to "highlight--or digitally create--Derek's fantastical journey as a Miami Dolphins WR." Hagan added that given the usual 5-7 minute average lengths of these promotional videos, he will have to add "a couple minutes" of his home fishing movies. Hagan's deal is expected to include a cameo role as "Allie the Alligator-Armed Man" in Dreamworks' next picture, "Modern Age."
Jason Taylor Celebrates 103rd Sack, 230th Seemingly-Scary-But-Ultimately-Insignificant Injury
Jason Taylor cemented his role as the most decorated, and most bruised, Miami DE this Sunday afternoon. Taylor used a double move on LT Khalif Barnes for an impressive sack on Jaguars QB Gerrard, but injured various follicles on his left forearm in the process. "I don't really know what happened," remarked Taylor. "It was sort of a blur. I just remember flying by him and then feeling hairs literally ripped out of my forearm. You have no idea how bad that hurts." Taylor left the game for a play, allowing him to visit the lockerroom and "put some Neutrogena on it." Taylor has now only missed 230 total plays in his career, most of them due to rheumatoid arthritis, warts, psoriasis, and sweating.
Other Notes:
Will Allen Tackles Illiteracy - Will Allen has made quite a few plays in his 6-year NFL career, but now he's on to tackle illiteracy. Acknowledging that "defeating it would be too difficult," Allen vowed to "let it keep going for a while and then eventually, and slowly, bring it down."
Matt Roth Frustrated At Chris Chambers Being Frustrated - Matt Roth, flexing his biceps to reveal the myriad of colors tattooed on his arms, became frustrated at Chris Chambers not dropping that he was frustrated with his catches despite the fact he was dropping his catches. The situation was diffused, however, as Chris extended one arm to hold Roth's forehead as he futilely swung his sixteen inch tyrannosaurus arms. Nick Saban refused to comment, but sources believe he will have them both killed with polonium-210.
Travis Minor Missing - Despite Ronnie Brown's injury, former 3rd round pick Travis Minor was nowhere to be seen on the Miami sidelines. Although he raised his hand as "present" on the team bus, he and Toniu Fonoti went to go "get some hot dogs or something" and never returned. Toniu had no comment, but was sporting "an extra couple pounds" a brand new fingerbone necklace that he "got on Overstock."
Hard to laugh after a loss but that is good. It's not the end of the world...I think after a 1-6 you couldn't get your hopes up. Next year.
