Slim
VIPeezy
Hey Tony,
As much as none of us want you to suddenly start padding your stats with a bunch of irrelevant victories over the next couple of weeks, i'm still going to provide you with a few simple tips to winning a ball game.
1. Set Reggie Bush' & your pride aside for a minute.
Your PR/KR is atrocious. One of the worst i've ever seen. For some reason Clyde Gates returns balls 7 yards deep and runs sideways. In a year where the rules have changed and the majority of teams are starting from the 20 yard line we seem to have a hell of a time getting it past the 15. Furthermore, as we fans have been saying for 4 years, Davone Bess is NOT an NFL caliber PR. The guy has solid hands and will get you 7 yards but he will never take one to the house. Want proof - has he ever taken one to the house? Case in point.
Rather than pound your 190 lb RB between the tackles 5 times a game how about putting him out there on Special Teams. Let him make a play. Do you even know how to spell Paymaker? P-L-A-Y-M-A-K-E-R. Who cares if the guy is pissed that he won't be running between the tackles as he has always dreamed of doing. Would you put Paul Soliai in at FB? Oh wait...
2. Bring Marc Colombo into the woods and leave him there
I don't consider myself a mastermind in the slightest. I live and breathe football, but i don't know understand the intricacies of OL play. However, i do know when a guy is getting beaten stupid on a regular basis. The most common fan knew that Colombo was a disaster in Dallas and would suck royally here in Miami. Yet, not only do you and Jeff go out and get him but you start him? Have you seen what that Baltimore OL is doing with a bunch of Free Agents who were available when you went and got Colombo?
I seriously can't wait for you to come and snatch up all these guys from our roster when you're fired and sent to another team.
3. Smack the **** out of our secondary please.
No one in our pathetic secondary has done well this year. You cut Benny Sapp loose yet kept Nolan Carroll who is absolutely pathetic. You have our best CB playing special teams and injuring himself left right and center. You drafted a woman to play the other side of the field (Shawna Smith). She's so terrible at tackling that i cringe every single time she lets her opponent catch the ball because i know that there are going to be a good 5-10 YAC. Please slap her across the face the next time she celebrates a break up as if it were the Superbowl.
4. Please, for the love of God stop celebrating FGs.
The only time you should celebrate a FG is when it wins you the game. Any other time your team kicks a FG, consider it a disappointment. You ever see BB celebrate FGs? Of course not - because he's not happy about them. They are failed attempts at TDs.
5. Bring someone in the manage the game for you.
I think Tom Coughlin did this. He realized that he wasn't comfortable managing certain aspects of the game so he brought someone in to do it specifically. Do yourself a favor and bring someone in with an IQ over 60 to do the same. Taking timeouts after trying to draw a team offside when down in the 4th makes you a laughingstock. Kicking a FG in a 3 point game and allowing the opposition to march down field to score 7 makes you look like an idiot.
You don't have the capability to manage timeouts, the clock, how many of your guys are on the field, etc. Pay someone to do that for you. Heck, pay me 60K a year and i'll do it.
As much as none of us want you to suddenly start padding your stats with a bunch of irrelevant victories over the next couple of weeks, i'm still going to provide you with a few simple tips to winning a ball game.
1. Set Reggie Bush' & your pride aside for a minute.
Your PR/KR is atrocious. One of the worst i've ever seen. For some reason Clyde Gates returns balls 7 yards deep and runs sideways. In a year where the rules have changed and the majority of teams are starting from the 20 yard line we seem to have a hell of a time getting it past the 15. Furthermore, as we fans have been saying for 4 years, Davone Bess is NOT an NFL caliber PR. The guy has solid hands and will get you 7 yards but he will never take one to the house. Want proof - has he ever taken one to the house? Case in point.
Rather than pound your 190 lb RB between the tackles 5 times a game how about putting him out there on Special Teams. Let him make a play. Do you even know how to spell Paymaker? P-L-A-Y-M-A-K-E-R. Who cares if the guy is pissed that he won't be running between the tackles as he has always dreamed of doing. Would you put Paul Soliai in at FB? Oh wait...
2. Bring Marc Colombo into the woods and leave him there
I don't consider myself a mastermind in the slightest. I live and breathe football, but i don't know understand the intricacies of OL play. However, i do know when a guy is getting beaten stupid on a regular basis. The most common fan knew that Colombo was a disaster in Dallas and would suck royally here in Miami. Yet, not only do you and Jeff go out and get him but you start him? Have you seen what that Baltimore OL is doing with a bunch of Free Agents who were available when you went and got Colombo?
I seriously can't wait for you to come and snatch up all these guys from our roster when you're fired and sent to another team.
3. Smack the **** out of our secondary please.
No one in our pathetic secondary has done well this year. You cut Benny Sapp loose yet kept Nolan Carroll who is absolutely pathetic. You have our best CB playing special teams and injuring himself left right and center. You drafted a woman to play the other side of the field (Shawna Smith). She's so terrible at tackling that i cringe every single time she lets her opponent catch the ball because i know that there are going to be a good 5-10 YAC. Please slap her across the face the next time she celebrates a break up as if it were the Superbowl.
4. Please, for the love of God stop celebrating FGs.
The only time you should celebrate a FG is when it wins you the game. Any other time your team kicks a FG, consider it a disappointment. You ever see BB celebrate FGs? Of course not - because he's not happy about them. They are failed attempts at TDs.
5. Bring someone in the manage the game for you.
I think Tom Coughlin did this. He realized that he wasn't comfortable managing certain aspects of the game so he brought someone in to do it specifically. Do yourself a favor and bring someone in with an IQ over 60 to do the same. Taking timeouts after trying to draw a team offside when down in the 4th makes you a laughingstock. Kicking a FG in a 3 point game and allowing the opposition to march down field to score 7 makes you look like an idiot.
You don't have the capability to manage timeouts, the clock, how many of your guys are on the field, etc. Pay someone to do that for you. Heck, pay me 60K a year and i'll do it.
