True story:
The first job I had at 16 was working in a lumberyard. Still possibly the best job I ever had.
The son of the owner basically ran the place; good dude. He dated an ER nurse. She had to help a guy who had a carrot stuck up his ***.
She HAD to ask him how it occurred.
He told her that he was cooking. In the nude. With a pressure cooker. And the pressure cooker exploded and SHOT the offending vegetable up his ***.