Here is the rub for me in this whole thing....

[THE OG CANEPHINS]

And I will speak from my experience.

That’s where Incognito ran into a problem. Personally, I know when a guy can’t handle razzing. You can tell that some guys just aren’t built for it. Incognito doesn’t have that filter. He was the jokester on the team, and he joked with everybody from players to coaches. That voicemail he sent came from a place of humor, but where he really screwed up was using the N-word. That, I cannot condone, and it’s probably the biggest reason he’s not with the team right now. Odd thing is, I’ve heard Incognito call Martin the same thing to his face in meetings and all Martin did was laugh.

I am Jewish. I have been part of a certain message board community longer than I have been with this one, and more active. I made real friendships through that message board and we all know a lot about each other on there. It is a family, not just a community. That said, I am one of the few Jews on the message board. For years comments, negative comments, were made regarding me being Jewish, Jews in general or just off the wall comments. It could be something that was over the top, something stereotyping, or it could be something so simple as someone saying "Joo hear that...".

For years I laughed along figuring that was no harm no foul. Then it just got worse, and worse and worse. Finally I broke. I hit the tipping point and enough was enough. I confronted them, asked them to stop and some did. Others didn't and I then had to further my stance. Their comment to me was, well you laughed along with us. And I told them, I did...and it was wrong. I never should have. That is something I have to live with and make right with myself, but this is something as a community we shouldn't be joking about from here on out.

I then had to deal with the "I'm being over sensitive" or I lost my sense of humor. Again, needing to educate tham that I didn't lose my sense of humor at all. It is just this isn't something that is funny and the comments aren't funny. Eventually that faded away and they all stopped, but it took getting the Mods involved and they added it to the rules.

Things have been much better since and everyone is fine. That is how things like this should be handled. Martin was wrong for laughing along with it in the first place, but I can understand why he did. Wanted to be part of the crowd or accepted is a bitch. Sometimes you will say or do things against your own principals for the sake of being accepted. Doesn't make it right and eventually you will hit the point of enough being enough. At that point how you handle it will determine the future for not only you but for all involved.

Incognito was wrong with what he said. Martin was wrong for laughing along if he was truly offended by it. Martin was wrong for how he handled it. Incognito was wrong for not knowing when to pull back, even if he thought he was just joking. The organization will come out to be wrong on many fronts based on denials before this is all done.

 

[El Calebra]

Thanks. Words we can all take to heart. Good to know you.

 

[Phindog]

When you use the nxxga word so much and also hear it so much it becomes less of a verbal weapon in your own eyes.

I despise the word nxxxxer I tolerate the word nxxga.

But it also is how and what it's being used for.

 

[THE OG CANEPHINS]

I can't tolerate either. I cringe when I hear it in movies, even with it being the correct and historical right context. I can't stand when I hear it in songs and when it comes to that part, if I am singing along, I just skip that word.

What it will take is an entire culture to change and that starts with each and every NFL front office. Willie McGinnest made a great point on NFL Total Access. He said that Romeo Crennell came into the locker room and stated that the N word, in any form, was never to be used in their facilities, on the field, or at any team functions. The Browns removed it from their culture. Other teams need to follow suit and do so.

 

[Fish-Head]

One of the biggest issues that I struggle with in all of this... Especially here... Is that this is a complex issue and also very TIMELY... Which would explain the media's overwhelming interest in it... The world has changed and many on here would have us believe that locker room culture shouldn't and hasn't changed right along with it.

The 'locker room culture' argument is merely a deflection of the bigger issue which is that of bullying... And what constitutes a 'safe' working environment.

Posts like this one are important to give a little clarity to the actual situation and the bigger issue of bullying in all of its complexity... How even 'innocent' remarks can have devastating effect on a person... How 'sensitization' does not always lessen the impact and how not speaking up DOES NOT equal acceptance.

SILENCE is the bully's biggest ally... Silence by the victim... Silence by the system and worst of all... Silence by all those witnessing it. Bravo. Great post OP and even better avatar!!

 

[THE OG CANEPHINS]

:brewskis:

 

[MiggeMadness]

Completely agree with your post. Also hate hearing that word and also agree that If Martin really did start having a problem with it or other things, there were better ways to handle it.

What gets me, is the the voicemail was from APRIL. Yea, the same things may have been said since, but I would think if the racial things or bullying is what this whole thing is all about, then why in the hell was it that he walked out after a simple prank that is played on everybody there????

Really? To sit there and say 'yea, I walked out after they all stood up from the table because Incognito is racist and I got tired of the N word!'

As everybody has been saying, nothing adds up. So you are pissed that you are being bullied, told to toughen up, sick of hearing racial remarks, and everything else, but the event that throws you over the edge is your teammates standing up from the table?

So I agree, maybe he was tired of hearing all that crap. I just don't know if I believe it based on the ridiculous event that 'pushed him over the edge.'

 

[Dthrill_08]

I am Cuban, I came in a homemade raft. When people call me wetback, balsero, ref etc. Honestly it doesn't bother me one bit lol. All I can say is, it was your fault for this to get out of hand. You should of stopped it when the first jokes started. I am also in a community since 09. One of the Admins was gay. We joked about it all the time but if he ever said to stop I would personally

 

[Chri$]

my favorite rapper once upon a time was jewish his name was necro

allthough has nothing to do with contents itt i just thought id mention that

unfortunately he isnt really any good anymore

 

[THE OG CANEPHINS]

Unless you were part of the Beastie Boys, your career in rap as as a Jew was always short lived. Quite a few good ones, but they just couldn't sustain it.

 

[overworkedirish]

I had to do a double take when I saw how even-keeled the responses here were - this isn't a VIP thread?? lol

 

[THE OG CANEPHINS]

I came here tonight, I didn't know what to expect. I seen a lot of people hate me and I didn't know what to feel about that so I guess they didn't like much nothin' either. During this fight, I've seen a lot of changing, the way yous feel about me, and in the way I felt about you. In here, there were two guys killing each other, but I guess that's better than 20 million. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!

My man Rocky Balboa said that.

 

[Hayden Fox]

The OP did what Martin needed to do and it is something that we have yet to see Martin do...tell the bully to cut it out. Martin himself in this statement from last said he attempted to make it go away by playing along.

 

[MD]

This has gone past bullying. This organization covered up a sexual assault and continued employing the subject. It doesn't get worse than that.