Ireland-Bryant Interview - Now That We Know More: Fill In The Captions
- Thread starter Vaark
- Start date
I poked some fun at this last week speculating how the interview transpired:
http://www.finheaven.com/forums/f2/the-bryant-ireland-he-said-she-said-exclusive-video-275946.html
..but now that some cooler heads have prevailed and we have a reasonable and credible alternative perspective of what actually happened (particularly in light of Mama Bryant's continued and recent criminal infractions), I thought it might be interesting for some others to fill-in some "tongue in cheek" interview dialogue- especially after the ridiculous feeding frenzy and pile-on of Ireland by ESPN and a few glorified internet bloggers.
Fill in the captions:
Interviewer.....Jeff Ireland
Mr. Bryant.....Dez
Interviewer: Alright, Mr. Bryant, you've done just fine on the Wonderlict.. your times are in good order.. your weights fine.. no difficulties with your motor skills.. And I think you're probably ready for this job. We've got one more psychological test we always do here. It's just a Word Association. I'll throw you out a few words - anything that comes to your mind, just throw back at me, okay? It's kind of an arbitrary thing. Like, if I say "dog", you'd say..?
Mr. Bryant: "Tree".
Interviewer: "Tree". [ nods head, prepares the test papers ] "Dog".
Mr. Bryant: "Tree".
Interviewer: "Fast".
Mr. Bryant: "Slow".
Interviewer: "Rain".
Mr. Bryant: "Snow".
Interviewer: "White".
Mr. Bryant: "Black".
Interviewer: "Bean".
Mr. Bryant: "Pod".
Interviewer: [ casually ] "Crack whore".
Mr. Bryant: "Projects".
Interviewer: "Mother".
Mr. Bryant: [ silent, sure he didn't hear what he thinks he heard ] What'd you say?
Interviewer: [ repeating ] "Mother".
Mr. Bryant: Dead honky!
Interviewer: [ quickly wraps the interview up ] Okay, Mr. Wilson, I think you're qualified for this job. How about a starting salary of $5,000,000?
Mr. Bryant: Your momma!
Interviewer: [ fumbling ] Uh.. $7,500,000 a year?
Mr. Bryant: Your grandmomma!
Interviewer: $15,000,000 Mr. Bryant. You'll be the highest paid wide receiver in the NFL. Just, don't.. don't hurt me,
Mr. Bryant: Okay.
Interviewer: [ relieved ] Okay.
Mr. Bryant: You want me to start now?
Interviewer: Oh, no, no.. that's alright. I'll clean all this up. Take a couple of weeks off, you look tired.
[ fade ]
thefranchisedef
Active Roster
ireland: you are quite the athlete dez, now can you sell me on you?
dez: um, like my father did with my mother?
ireland: are you saying your mothers a prostitute?
dez: no.. im answering your question with a question.
ireland: oh,but for real.. did you just say your dad sold your mother.. as in a prositute?
dez: no, i said "um, like my father did with my mother?"..
ireland: are you dumb? as in mentally challenged?
dez: well, im offended..
ireland: im sorry for calling you dumb..
dez: NO MY MOTHER IS NOT A PROSTITUTE!!!!
ireland: can you get on the phone with denver.. dez we will be getting in touch with you! :)
dez: um, like my father did with my mother?
ireland: are you saying your mothers a prostitute?
dez: no.. im answering your question with a question.
ireland: oh,but for real.. did you just say your dad sold your mother.. as in a prositute?
dez: no, i said "um, like my father did with my mother?"..
ireland: are you dumb? as in mentally challenged?
dez: well, im offended..
ireland: im sorry for calling you dumb..
dez: NO MY MOTHER IS NOT A PROSTITUTE!!!!
ireland: can you get on the phone with denver.. dez we will be getting in touch with you! :)
jhortondj2
Club Member
Ireland: Who would you say you are closest too in your life today?
Dez: Deion Sanders....no doubt.
Ireland: How would you best describe your relationship with him?
Dez: He's my adviser on everything I do....my football career, building my public image, He even advises me on my personal relationships with my family and friends.......kind of a moral compass!
Ireland: Why did you choose Deion?
Dez: I didn't choose Deion....Deion chose Dez....just like Mr Silver and Mr Jones chose Dez....this isn't about anyone but Dez, I want you to think about that for a minute!
Dez: Deion Sanders....no doubt.
Ireland: How would you best describe your relationship with him?
Dez: He's my adviser on everything I do....my football career, building my public image, He even advises me on my personal relationships with my family and friends.......kind of a moral compass!
Ireland: Why did you choose Deion?
Dez: I didn't choose Deion....Deion chose Dez....just like Mr Silver and Mr Jones chose Dez....this isn't about anyone but Dez, I want you to think about that for a minute!
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Pope Shula XIV
EDDSified!
BRYANT: Good afternoon! Jack's Pickles and Penis Pumps...how can I help you?
IRELAND: From wha?
BRYANT: Hello??
IRELAND: Yes
BRYANT: You need pickles?
IRELAND: Pickles? Yes.
BRYANT: How many pickles?
IRELAND: Uhhh....fiftttttyyyyy boxes
BRYANT: Sir...
IRELAND: Yeah...
BRYANT: What are you doing?
IRELAND: I pickle they...you know? I pickle they.
BRYANT: This is Jack's Pickles and Penis Pumps
IRELAND: (stuttering) Jack's ppp-pppickles from Penis Pump?
BRYANT: Right!
IRELAND: From wha?
BRYANT: Hello??
IRELAND: Yes
BRYANT: You need pickles?
IRELAND: Pickles? Yes.
BRYANT: How many pickles?
IRELAND: Uhhh....fiftttttyyyyy boxes
BRYANT: Sir...
IRELAND: Yeah...
BRYANT: What are you doing?
IRELAND: I pickle they...you know? I pickle they.
BRYANT: This is Jack's Pickles and Penis Pumps
IRELAND: (stuttering) Jack's ppp-pppickles from Penis Pump?
BRYANT: Right!
Wow, have not seen that SNL skit for a while, (Richard Pryer and Chevy Chase would be proud...LOL)...NICE!!
Ireland: Mr bryant, your mother is a dirty crack whore and we have no wish to bring someone like you whom has a worthless crack whore of a monther into this organization... I suggest you go sign with the Cowboys, they love potential cracked out test tube babes