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Matt Roth Facts

SCLSU Mud Dogs

SCLSU Mud Dogs

Foosball is the devil
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Matt Roth once stepped into quicksand. The quicksand couldn't escape and nearly drowned.

There are two hands that can beat a royal flush. Matt Roth's right hand and Matt Roth's left hand.

If Matt Roth had been a Spartan the movie would have been called "1".

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Matt Roth see the glass as a deadly weapon.

Matt Roth never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

On a high school math test, Matt Roth put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Matt Roth solves all his problems with Violence.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs. Matt Roth can kill 100% of whatever the hell he wants.
 
Matt Roth always tests positive for steroids. Not that he uses steroids. It's because steroids are made from Matt Roth.

If Matt Roth was president, he would protect the secret service.

Matt Roth once shot himself 10 times, just to prove 50 cent is a b**ch.

Matt Roth calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Matt Roth.

Matt Roth once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Matt Roth says its beef. Then it's beef, damnit.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Matt Roth. Sounds like a fair fight.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Matt Roth would meanwhile do something important.
 
Really? Matt Roth Jokes? while funny i don't think he quite deserves them yet. Ronnie brown, definitely, Matt Roth, after the last 2 seasons, don't think so.
 
Funkymonks said:
Really? Matt Roth Jokes? while funny i don't think he quite deserves them yet. Ronnie brown, definitely, Matt Roth, after the last 2 seasons, don't think so.
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i got this after the roth bar fight thread. since he is such a freaking beast
 
Lets just say, when Matt Roth gets angry, people get Broken.
 
in the beginning of the universe there was nothing, then matt roth tackled the **** out of the universe and said get a job, that, my friends, was the big bang.
 
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Matt Roth has allowed to live.
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]
[/FONT] [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Matt Roth. Matt showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.[/FONT]
 
Matt Rott once headbutt a NY Jet, and he burst into 25 gold coins.

Matt Roth drives Optimus Prime to the field on Gameday.

If you turn most things over they say "Made in China", If you turn China over it says "Made by Matt Roth".

When Matt Roth jumps in the water, he doesen't get wet, the water gets Rothed.

Matt Roth can divide by zero.

Matt Roth can speak braile.

Once, a blind man stepped on Matt Roth's foot at an airport. Matt Roth exclamed, "Dont you know who I am? I'm freaking Matt Roth!" the mere mention of Matt Roth's name cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately the first, last and only thing he ever saw was a headbutt to the face.

Matt Roth is the only human ever recoreded to have punched a ghost.

Once, while walking into a McDonalds, Matt Roth was surprised by Ronald McDonald himself. What followed was the most savage beating of a clown ever recorded in human history.

Babies cry because they know they have been born into a world with Matt Roth.
 
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