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So, now that the rumblings about a coaching change are reaching critical mass, I thought we could use a moment of levity here and try to predict just how badly Steve Ross will botch the head coaching position. So grab a cold one, give it some thought, and try your hand at being a modern day Nastradamus.
I have collaborated with a crack team of experts in the VIP Chat, and here are some of the scenarios that we came up with:
Joe Philbin - Standing pat with Joe. This would be a nightmare for a lot of posters here, so I'm including it for that reason. If you think that Steve can't bring himself to pull the trigger, vote for this one!
NO COACH - Steve Ross finds a way to bungle the coaching search so badly that we are still flailing around and looking for a coach in February. With any other owner, I wouldn't include this option, but with Steve Ross, it's possible.
Any Patriots Assistant - Josh McDaniels, Matt Patricia, or any other worthless bum riding off of the coattails of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Because watching Charlie Weis, Josh McDaniels (first time around), Romeo Crennel, and Scott Pioli fail miserably in other cities wasn't warning enough.
Dirk Koetter - With a resume as unimpressive as Dirk Koetter, he seems like a perfect candidate to succeed Joe Philbin. Normally I'd wonder why this guy is even on the radar, but given that Barry Jackson floated his name, I've now got that sinking feeling in my stomach about him.
Mike Mularkey - Bland, boring, and we've already seen first-hand what a crummy coach he was in 2006. He was the head coach of the Buffalo Bills (and they weren't very good) before deciding out of the blue to quit one day. After that, he was the head coach of the Jaguars, went 2-14, and got fired for being terrible.
Norv Turner - No comment.
Mike Shula - This strikes me as the kind of move that Ross could make after all of the 'name' Candidates turn us down. He's sort of a 'name,' right?
Herm Edwards - Former Jet coach. I think Carl Peterson likes him, too. He's on TV. Seems like a Ross hire.
Eric Mangini - Former Jet coach.
Rex Ryan - Former Jet coach. See a trend here?
Mike Singletary - Bizarro Joe Philbin. He's an awful coach, but people are already speculating that we could interview him to satisfy the Rooney Rule. Could be this season's Hickey hire, except we know Singletary blows.
Late additions who seem plausible:
Adam Gase - Joe Philbin redux. Peyton Manning's current gofer. Probably gets an interview, at least. Because we don't learn. (Thanks, SoS)
Hue Jackson - Not content with having two dysfunctional head coach / front office situations in his brief tenure as owner of the team, Steve Ross brings in someone guaranteed to cause a power struggle. (Thanks, roy_miami)
Dick Jauron - Because he went 13-3 one time on the strength of like literally 20 return touchdowns in the same season. (Thanks, Mad Dog)
Jim Schwartz - Legitimately one of the worst head coaches we've seen in the NFL in the past decade, Jim Schwartz could be on the short list because 'he's done a great job with the Bills' defense.' (Thanks, dobrasz54)
So there you have it, Finheaven. Predict your Nightmare Coaching Scenario! Write-ins are encouraged, as always.
DISCLAIMER: This thread intended to be humorous. To provide a bit of levity and entertainment. If you truly feel that we will get it right and make a slam dunk hire this time, then at least play along.
I have collaborated with a crack team of experts in the VIP Chat, and here are some of the scenarios that we came up with:
Joe Philbin - Standing pat with Joe. This would be a nightmare for a lot of posters here, so I'm including it for that reason. If you think that Steve can't bring himself to pull the trigger, vote for this one!
NO COACH - Steve Ross finds a way to bungle the coaching search so badly that we are still flailing around and looking for a coach in February. With any other owner, I wouldn't include this option, but with Steve Ross, it's possible.
Any Patriots Assistant - Josh McDaniels, Matt Patricia, or any other worthless bum riding off of the coattails of Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Because watching Charlie Weis, Josh McDaniels (first time around), Romeo Crennel, and Scott Pioli fail miserably in other cities wasn't warning enough.
Dirk Koetter - With a resume as unimpressive as Dirk Koetter, he seems like a perfect candidate to succeed Joe Philbin. Normally I'd wonder why this guy is even on the radar, but given that Barry Jackson floated his name, I've now got that sinking feeling in my stomach about him.
Mike Mularkey - Bland, boring, and we've already seen first-hand what a crummy coach he was in 2006. He was the head coach of the Buffalo Bills (and they weren't very good) before deciding out of the blue to quit one day. After that, he was the head coach of the Jaguars, went 2-14, and got fired for being terrible.
Norv Turner - No comment.
Mike Shula - This strikes me as the kind of move that Ross could make after all of the 'name' Candidates turn us down. He's sort of a 'name,' right?
Herm Edwards - Former Jet coach. I think Carl Peterson likes him, too. He's on TV. Seems like a Ross hire.
Eric Mangini - Former Jet coach.
Rex Ryan - Former Jet coach. See a trend here?
Mike Singletary - Bizarro Joe Philbin. He's an awful coach, but people are already speculating that we could interview him to satisfy the Rooney Rule. Could be this season's Hickey hire, except we know Singletary blows.
Late additions who seem plausible:
Adam Gase - Joe Philbin redux. Peyton Manning's current gofer. Probably gets an interview, at least. Because we don't learn. (Thanks, SoS)
Hue Jackson - Not content with having two dysfunctional head coach / front office situations in his brief tenure as owner of the team, Steve Ross brings in someone guaranteed to cause a power struggle. (Thanks, roy_miami)
Dick Jauron - Because he went 13-3 one time on the strength of like literally 20 return touchdowns in the same season. (Thanks, Mad Dog)
Jim Schwartz - Legitimately one of the worst head coaches we've seen in the NFL in the past decade, Jim Schwartz could be on the short list because 'he's done a great job with the Bills' defense.' (Thanks, dobrasz54)
So there you have it, Finheaven. Predict your Nightmare Coaching Scenario! Write-ins are encouraged, as always.
DISCLAIMER: This thread intended to be humorous. To provide a bit of levity and entertainment. If you truly feel that we will get it right and make a slam dunk hire this time, then at least play along.
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