Post your fictional 2015 Miami Dolphins Conversations Here

[Aqua and Orange]

This season is hot garbage. In an attempt to stay sane I've started imagining the ridiculous conversations that could have happened behind closed doors with this year's Dolphins. I've found that it actually helps make sense of some of the idiotic things that have happened this season.


So have at it, chums. Let your creative juices fly and write your fictional 2015 Miami Dolphins conversations here. I'll start:
-----------------------------------------------------------
In my mind's eye, this is what happened in the preseason:


Bill Lazor: "Welcome to the team, Devante."


Devante Parker: "Thanks! Happy to be here."


Lazor: "Say, do you have any experience running screens?"


Parker: "Nah, my bread and butter is more north-south, catching the football on the run down the field. I'm good at winning jump balls in the endzone."


Lazor: (Stares at Parker, squints) "...So no screens? What about end-arounds? Swing passes?"


Parker: "Um, I kinda excel at passes further down the field. I think all of those plays start your receiver at or behind the line of scrimmage."


(Silence)


Lazor: "You do realize there is no higher percentage throw than a pass behind the line, with the QB and receiver 2 yards away from each other, preferably with the ball travelling slightly backwards?"


Parker: "I'm not sure that's accurate. Isn't a play that starts with the ball going backwards technically a fumble?"


(Lazor glares at Parker. Suddenly he jumps and stomps down on Devante Parker's foot, re-injuring it. Parker writhes in pain.)


Lazor: "Matthews, put down that Mad Magazine! Your day has finally come! You're going into the first string!"


Rishard Matthews: (Pointing at himself) "MEEEEEEEE?!"

 

[DuderinoN703]

Someone has time on their hands

 

[SCLSU Mud Dogs]

Someone has time on their hands

So he's like...wearing a watch?

 

[DuderinoN703]

So he's like...wearing a watch?

If his wrist is his hand sure.

 

[fishfanmiami]

Dallas Thomas: Coach I could not play tackle or right guard so what makes you think I can play left guard ?

Coach: As a draft pick we are developing you. Next you'll play center then you would have completely failed at every O line position.

DT: I don't get it coach

Coach: Exactly.

 

[tcdrover]

Team meeting

Suh: Ryan, own up! You need to step up and earn that contract.

I mean STEP UP SON, pass the rock to the 2nd and 3rd option and make the 3rd down conversions that are there to be made.

I'm not blind, I see open guys out there. My sister could complete some of those passes

Lazor: Shhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Suh, go easy on him you might hurt his feelings,

and then he won't be good for anything at all

 

[maralieus]

Dallas Thomas: sorry about that play man, I thought you were going left and so I went right, tell Ryan I'm sorry too? I can't look him in the eyes right now, that hit was so hard!!

Pouncey: which play are you referring to? There was so many like that....

 

[fishfanmiami]

Coach Rizzo: No need to bodyslam the guy returning your punts Darr

punter Darr : You want some of this ... COME ON BITCH


One bad azz punter and probably the best tackle we've seen all year.

 

[fishfanmiami]

Coach Lazor: Here's the play. Ryan takes the snap and hands to jarvis on the end around who flips in back to Ryan who then hands off to Miller on a draw then Miller flips it back to Ryan who pitch to Cameron on the TE around who throws a short screen to Stills across the field. Got it

Offense: :confused: