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TV Doctor
OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA (AP/REUTERS) - Sources close to the Oakland Raiders' Organization confirmed reports that Justice Sandra Day O'Connor will retire from the Supreme Court and then promptly join the Oakland Raiders to compete for a starting job on the OL. Coach Callahan commented, "We're trying to really infuse younger talent. She's going to bring youth and excitement to this team. She's raw and considerably younger than the majority of our roster, but we've watched the film and she's got talent." Tim Brown was quoted as saying, "I remember my college years back in '81 when she was drafted by Reagan in the first round. Tough competitor. Brings it on every down." Center Barret Robbins added, "Monkey shorts doofie, blabbala blabbala hooey hooey."
O'Connor, 73, will need weight training to strengthen her upper body. Offense coordinator Marc Trestman isn't worried, however: "115 lbs in two weeks? Easy. She'll be fine. [Bill] Romanowski has all kinds of good **** for that."
Romanowski was also quite happy with the acquisition, as he stated, "O'Connor? Feisty. I remember blowing lines with her in the 70s, man. She used to illegally give me all sorts of prescription drugs for free. Oh wait, no, I'm thinking of my wife. Where am I?" and then spit in a cameraman's face.
Justice O'Connor is expected to compete at LT, where the incumbent Barry Sims is struggling. Team officials are hopeful she can start week 1.
O'Connor, 73, will need weight training to strengthen her upper body. Offense coordinator Marc Trestman isn't worried, however: "115 lbs in two weeks? Easy. She'll be fine. [Bill] Romanowski has all kinds of good **** for that."
Romanowski was also quite happy with the acquisition, as he stated, "O'Connor? Feisty. I remember blowing lines with her in the 70s, man. She used to illegally give me all sorts of prescription drugs for free. Oh wait, no, I'm thinking of my wife. Where am I?" and then spit in a cameraman's face.
Justice O'Connor is expected to compete at LT, where the incumbent Barry Sims is struggling. Team officials are hopeful she can start week 1.
