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Rex Ryan Tombstone

Chubby

Chubby

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Stole this from one of the commentors on the Herald Website. I loved it.

What will Coach Ryan Tombstone will say?
Here lies Coach Ryan
He could never go on a diet
In the middle of another losing season
His heart gave up for apparent reasons.

He coached the loser Jets
And he would always regret
Being rejected by Miami
When they hired Tony instead

His players mirrored his own self
Lowly souls with no class
The clowns of the NFL
In the present and the past.

We wanted to keep these writings simple
As we placed him in the coffin
Otherwise all we would say is
HE COULD NEVER BEAT THE DOLPHINS
Click to expand...
 
Epitaph for Rex Ryan's Gravestone

Here lies Mr. Creosote
Who tragically became a goat
New York? Epic fail!!!
Miami hammer pounds Jets nail
He choked. Phishbone to the throat.
 
Cryin' Ryan lies here in this grave
Drowned by a Finz tidal wave
What makes this so sweet
Was the whine in defeat
And the excuses he lamely gave.
 
When you win, then you are the best
But when you lose, your talk should be less.
Whinin' Ryan d'not learn
And for this he got burned.
Miami!! His downfall...his mess!
 
Buddy laid an egg.
Sanchez ate a dog.
Scott cried a tear.
While I drank a beer.

(2nd verse same as the 1st)
 
'Tis too early to tell if the Jets graveyard bell
has rung.
But the Jets fell and now there's a smell
they're dung!
The Fans are in hell. Tickets for sell!
Death's sung.
 
Are you ready Kids.....aye aye captain

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Who lives in delusion by the sea
Sponge Headed Jets Fan!!!!

Classless, teary and whiny is he
Sponge Headed Jets Fan!!!

If football buffonary is something you wish
Sponge Headed Jets Fan!!!

Than put on a Jets game and watch them lose to the phish.
Sponge Headed Jets Fan!!!

Sponge Headed Jets Fan...Sponge Headed Jets Fan.....Sponge Headed Jets Fan!!!!!

Sponge Headed Jeeeeeeets Faaaaaaaan!!! HAHA
 
Here lies Rex Ryan
In the midst of him dyin'
The world's less full of hot air.

He really epitomized
The term "fat *** prick"
His *** couldn't fit in a chair.

All of that talk
So very ****y
Arrogance overflowed his cup

When will he learn?
You just can't beat them Fins
Maybe next time you should shut the Frick up.
 
5nrjmd-1.jpg
 
That's the best one Vaark!

The rest of us can stop trying now. Can't beat it...nor should we!

Your post...as awesome as it is...and SUPER FUNNY!!! ...effectively ended this thread.

Your one post should now become a STICKY! It is that good!
 
I like this one :

There once was a fat guy from New Jersey
Whose toilet was too small to s*it in
So he dug a hole,
A five-foot-wide bowl
That his *ss could just barely fit in
 
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