Raoul Duke
Connoisseur of the Herbage
The Duke's Rant...
Ok i know i usually dont start threads and what not, but this boring offseason has got me wanting to vent just a tad or to opinionize (is that even a word?). Whatever. But let me start off as saying i do like what the big tuna and the "GM" have done so far. I mean we could have gone and gotten a better QB than McCown but **** why not have both McCown bros in the state of Florida, but hey look on the bright side big bro Josh has a better shot at starting than little bro Luke cuz for some odd reason Gruden just has man crushes on QBs. Weird? I know. So staying on the QB position...who the hell knows who the qb for this team is going to be?! The freakin season is 6 months away. Its anybodys job for the taking. Hey look on the brightside at least we're not going into a season after winning ever single game of the regular season and then choking in the superbowl. Things could be worse haha BULLSPIT. Man now i know how all those bucs fans of the early 90s used to feel every time they watched anything that even suggested the name Buccaneers, and i actually found humor in that...man karmas a *****.
Let me move back to last year for a second or two. Watching last season was like running round on fire and have gasoline poured on top of me. i mean i had ronnie brown to watch, but then cleo "******* i ain't got **** for brains" lemon threw that pick and for some reason Ronnie believed he could tackle a ***** but that seriously back fired on him. Man that draft class from 2005 is looking great (Alex Smith, Ronnie Brown, Cedric Benson, Cadillac Williams). Dude you couldnt go wrong with anyone of those...yeh haha. And then later in the season i knew we were gettin the man back, Ricky Williams. The ***** gets the ball 8 times or something, i really cant remember, and he ****ING GETS ****ING STEP ON! WTF!!!!! so that game drastically shot my entire reason for thinking that this dolphin team was even going to win a game. Then in some miraculous turn of events Brian "I think I'm the smartest man alive" Billick decided to go for the tie instead of going for the win for some ****ing reason that will never be explained to any of us sending the game into over time. Where Cleo "****smooch" Lemon actually hit a reciever in stride and of all ****ing people he hits Greg "WHO?!" Camarillo on a 60 some odd td. Longest i ever held my breath and i swear i was looking for a yellow hanky saying some one held and we had to repeat the down. And then the season went back to ****. But the worst thing of this season was actually watching the Patriots go undefeated in the regular season while the dolphins continuously lost game after game after game after game. I felt like an alcoholic in a Yuengling brewery when Cam and Mueller got the can, and then came in the Tuna and turned the dolphins into the Cowboys en Espanol.
So then we get ride of everyone and bring in people hes work with before and players that are his "type". This dude has a type. Whatever tickles him dude whatever just as long as i get to see this team win. Watching this team lose and do nothing, NOTHING since Craterface bought the team. This dude started off making money with trash so i guess his logic is, "well i made money from other peoples trash lets see if i can do the same with my own trash." You i dont think he actually knows anything about the game of football and what it takes to win. He always goes for the big name coaches but always gets burned. This time he goes for the big name executive/ex-coach/ex-analyst and gives him total control to do whatever he wants with the team. Fire and hire anyone who he so chooses too. Wonder if he gave him some of the franchise too cuz lately he seems to be handing out parts of his franchise. hopeully this means he's trying to completely get out of the his ownership of this team. But seriously the only reason i believe he bought the team was because he could. I can see H. Wayne sitting there thinking, "Dude i totally have enough money to buy a football team." ****ing pricks and their billions to waste.
I'm tired of hearing fans boo-hoo over the loss of Zach Thomas and the potential loss of Jason "I'm a ****ing fairy now" Taylor. Who gives a **** if these guys are traded or released i mean honestly are you more of a fan of an individual player over the team they play for? If so you are a retarded cuz players come and they go tough **** i know. So wipe your tears from your eyes and smell the roses, though at this point they smell like a New York sewer. **** dude this team seriously needs to start winning. And now fans are crying that the team didnt go after any of the big name free agents out there. Why the **** would you want them to waste all the cap money on overpriced old players that are look for one more big pay day before they have to call it quits and they can get some money in the bank...joey porter. And that decision worked out real nice huh? Now i think we would defend the pass better if we just didnt take anyone from the secondary out there cuz **** they just get into each others way. Renaldo Hill gets hurt jumping for a ball...what the hell? Ronnie Brown gets hurt trying to tackle...wait who the hell on this team didnt get hurt? Everyones knees became as sensitive as ur very own sack and getting hit in the head for any of the players on this team meant the lights were out.
Back to Jason Taylor, i dont care if the team lets him go or not. One individual does not make up a team, but if you can trade JT to Minnesota like the rumors now suggest and get a mountain of a man in mount Mckinney they **** yeh you do it. you do it in a heart beat. you do it faster than you do the drunk horny chick at the bar that just whispered the right thing into your ear. The game is won on the Oline and Dline and they have JT projected as an OLB. Why would you even hesitate in doing this trade? Were you dropped on your head as a child? Seriously i cant think of a reason why not to do this trade. If this trade goes down it'll be a sign that the world has stopped ****ting on the Phins, but the stench is still left behind. And the stank *** smell is only left behind because we've still only won one game. But with an oline like this: Bryant McKinney, Random dude, Satele, Smiley, and Carey ****ing Gilbert Brown could get a grand. (ok thats a dream but still a person can dream).
The QB position has been a mess since the retirement of Danny Boy (which i doubt anyone will ever get off his jock i mean yeh the dude was good but he didnt win ****). Then we get these dudes that make us scratch our heads and hold our breath everytime the ball was in their hands. The incompetent's of the front office and coaching has caused us fans to suffer year after year. But a great oline will make any decent QB look better, but my question is do we have a decent QB on this roster? I have no clue. The offense all in all i believe will be decent this year especially if we get back a healthy RB and Ricky Williams come back healthy and the recievers acutally catch the ball and get open for once. Man it seems like we say the same **** year after year. Oh by the way we need a ****ing TE that can actually catch AND hears the big part ****ING BLOCK!!!!!
Who ****ing knows whats going to happen next year? No one on hear is Nastrodomous (is that how you spell his name? who ****ing cares), and homie if you say you can predict the future what kind of **** are you on? Who are we going to draft this year Ryan, Long, Long? ***** last year we thought we were getting Quinn and Okoye, but low and behold TED GINN JR started flashing on the bottonline on ESPN so i thought it was a **** up and switch it to NFL Network and there it was again. So why play the speculation game and try to guess what the big Tuna has up his sleeves? "Because thats what fans do they want the best for their teams." Yeh i know i know, but honestly why drive yourself crazy.
Now everyone relax grab a cold brew and sit back and enjoy the ride. Cuz before you know it you'll prolly slam your head into a wall trying to figure **** out and stressing yourself out. Go out tonight party get ****ty do whatever it takes to tickle yourself in the stop that makes u happy. Just step away from the Phins for a moment and let it ride out. Well homies i'm out i appreciate you listening to me hope we can do it again sometime. Oh, and always remember dont be a fool, cover your tool.
Ok i know i usually dont start threads and what not, but this boring offseason has got me wanting to vent just a tad or to opinionize (is that even a word?). Whatever. But let me start off as saying i do like what the big tuna and the "GM" have done so far. I mean we could have gone and gotten a better QB than McCown but **** why not have both McCown bros in the state of Florida, but hey look on the bright side big bro Josh has a better shot at starting than little bro Luke cuz for some odd reason Gruden just has man crushes on QBs. Weird? I know. So staying on the QB position...who the hell knows who the qb for this team is going to be?! The freakin season is 6 months away. Its anybodys job for the taking. Hey look on the brightside at least we're not going into a season after winning ever single game of the regular season and then choking in the superbowl. Things could be worse haha BULLSPIT. Man now i know how all those bucs fans of the early 90s used to feel every time they watched anything that even suggested the name Buccaneers, and i actually found humor in that...man karmas a *****.
Let me move back to last year for a second or two. Watching last season was like running round on fire and have gasoline poured on top of me. i mean i had ronnie brown to watch, but then cleo "******* i ain't got **** for brains" lemon threw that pick and for some reason Ronnie believed he could tackle a ***** but that seriously back fired on him. Man that draft class from 2005 is looking great (Alex Smith, Ronnie Brown, Cedric Benson, Cadillac Williams). Dude you couldnt go wrong with anyone of those...yeh haha. And then later in the season i knew we were gettin the man back, Ricky Williams. The ***** gets the ball 8 times or something, i really cant remember, and he ****ING GETS ****ING STEP ON! WTF!!!!! so that game drastically shot my entire reason for thinking that this dolphin team was even going to win a game. Then in some miraculous turn of events Brian "I think I'm the smartest man alive" Billick decided to go for the tie instead of going for the win for some ****ing reason that will never be explained to any of us sending the game into over time. Where Cleo "****smooch" Lemon actually hit a reciever in stride and of all ****ing people he hits Greg "WHO?!" Camarillo on a 60 some odd td. Longest i ever held my breath and i swear i was looking for a yellow hanky saying some one held and we had to repeat the down. And then the season went back to ****. But the worst thing of this season was actually watching the Patriots go undefeated in the regular season while the dolphins continuously lost game after game after game after game. I felt like an alcoholic in a Yuengling brewery when Cam and Mueller got the can, and then came in the Tuna and turned the dolphins into the Cowboys en Espanol.
So then we get ride of everyone and bring in people hes work with before and players that are his "type". This dude has a type. Whatever tickles him dude whatever just as long as i get to see this team win. Watching this team lose and do nothing, NOTHING since Craterface bought the team. This dude started off making money with trash so i guess his logic is, "well i made money from other peoples trash lets see if i can do the same with my own trash." You i dont think he actually knows anything about the game of football and what it takes to win. He always goes for the big name coaches but always gets burned. This time he goes for the big name executive/ex-coach/ex-analyst and gives him total control to do whatever he wants with the team. Fire and hire anyone who he so chooses too. Wonder if he gave him some of the franchise too cuz lately he seems to be handing out parts of his franchise. hopeully this means he's trying to completely get out of the his ownership of this team. But seriously the only reason i believe he bought the team was because he could. I can see H. Wayne sitting there thinking, "Dude i totally have enough money to buy a football team." ****ing pricks and their billions to waste.
I'm tired of hearing fans boo-hoo over the loss of Zach Thomas and the potential loss of Jason "I'm a ****ing fairy now" Taylor. Who gives a **** if these guys are traded or released i mean honestly are you more of a fan of an individual player over the team they play for? If so you are a retarded cuz players come and they go tough **** i know. So wipe your tears from your eyes and smell the roses, though at this point they smell like a New York sewer. **** dude this team seriously needs to start winning. And now fans are crying that the team didnt go after any of the big name free agents out there. Why the **** would you want them to waste all the cap money on overpriced old players that are look for one more big pay day before they have to call it quits and they can get some money in the bank...joey porter. And that decision worked out real nice huh? Now i think we would defend the pass better if we just didnt take anyone from the secondary out there cuz **** they just get into each others way. Renaldo Hill gets hurt jumping for a ball...what the hell? Ronnie Brown gets hurt trying to tackle...wait who the hell on this team didnt get hurt? Everyones knees became as sensitive as ur very own sack and getting hit in the head for any of the players on this team meant the lights were out.
Back to Jason Taylor, i dont care if the team lets him go or not. One individual does not make up a team, but if you can trade JT to Minnesota like the rumors now suggest and get a mountain of a man in mount Mckinney they **** yeh you do it. you do it in a heart beat. you do it faster than you do the drunk horny chick at the bar that just whispered the right thing into your ear. The game is won on the Oline and Dline and they have JT projected as an OLB. Why would you even hesitate in doing this trade? Were you dropped on your head as a child? Seriously i cant think of a reason why not to do this trade. If this trade goes down it'll be a sign that the world has stopped ****ting on the Phins, but the stench is still left behind. And the stank *** smell is only left behind because we've still only won one game. But with an oline like this: Bryant McKinney, Random dude, Satele, Smiley, and Carey ****ing Gilbert Brown could get a grand. (ok thats a dream but still a person can dream).
The QB position has been a mess since the retirement of Danny Boy (which i doubt anyone will ever get off his jock i mean yeh the dude was good but he didnt win ****). Then we get these dudes that make us scratch our heads and hold our breath everytime the ball was in their hands. The incompetent's of the front office and coaching has caused us fans to suffer year after year. But a great oline will make any decent QB look better, but my question is do we have a decent QB on this roster? I have no clue. The offense all in all i believe will be decent this year especially if we get back a healthy RB and Ricky Williams come back healthy and the recievers acutally catch the ball and get open for once. Man it seems like we say the same **** year after year. Oh by the way we need a ****ing TE that can actually catch AND hears the big part ****ING BLOCK!!!!!
Who ****ing knows whats going to happen next year? No one on hear is Nastrodomous (is that how you spell his name? who ****ing cares), and homie if you say you can predict the future what kind of **** are you on? Who are we going to draft this year Ryan, Long, Long? ***** last year we thought we were getting Quinn and Okoye, but low and behold TED GINN JR started flashing on the bottonline on ESPN so i thought it was a **** up and switch it to NFL Network and there it was again. So why play the speculation game and try to guess what the big Tuna has up his sleeves? "Because thats what fans do they want the best for their teams." Yeh i know i know, but honestly why drive yourself crazy.
Now everyone relax grab a cold brew and sit back and enjoy the ride. Cuz before you know it you'll prolly slam your head into a wall trying to figure **** out and stressing yourself out. Go out tonight party get ****ty do whatever it takes to tickle yourself in the stop that makes u happy. Just step away from the Phins for a moment and let it ride out. Well homies i'm out i appreciate you listening to me hope we can do it again sometime. Oh, and always remember dont be a fool, cover your tool.
Thats funny I like that...
