The Spielman Manifesto

[endorPHINS72]

- Today, Rick Spielman signed Professor Stephen J. Hawking to a 6 year $56 million dollar contract. At a press conference, Spielman said Professor Hawking would start at free safety and would add athleticism and an intimidation factor to the Vikings' secondary.

- In a recent statement to the press, Rick Spielman announced that he believed in extraterrestrial intelligence. In a related matter, extraterrestrials ruled out the possibility of intelligent life in the Minnesota Vikings front office.

- When God said he could create the world in 6 days, Rick Spielman said he could create it in 5, plus trade away Miami's 1st and 2nd round picks for space debris.

- When Abraham Lincoln was writing the Gettysburg Address, Rick Spielman was confused because he couldn't find it on Mapquest.

- After reading "The DaVinci Code", Rick Spielman immediately traded the entire Minnesota Vikings roster for Mary Magdelene and announced she would be the starting quarterback.

- After attending the 2006 Hall & Oates Fan Club Convention, Minnesota police arrested Spielman for arriving at Daryl Hall's house sobbing, drunk and naked, covered in oil and carrying two dozen red roses. Hall had a restraining order put on Spielman but said he would repeal it if he would buy 50 of "Hall & Oates Greatest Hits" CDs.

- Some people see a tree stump as a tree stump. Not Rick Spielman. He sees a starting NFL quarterback.

- CNN is reporting that part of the Abu Ghraib torture scandal involved Rick Spielman signing Reggie Howard to a multi-million dollar contract and trading a 2nd round pick for A.J. Feeley in front of lifelong Dolphins fans. These acts are strictly forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Spielman is facing charges as a war criminal.

- Before signing on as the Vikings' President of Personnel, it is rumored that Mr. Spielman tried his hand at being a financial advisor. Mr. Spielman was recently sued after clients said he encouraged them to invest in such commodities as the XFL and The Paris Hilton Foundation for Morality in America, citing them as "excellent long term investments".

- Before being hired by the Miami Dolphins by Dave Wannstedt, Rick Spielman was the spokesmodel for the "Flowbee".

 

[fish fan 4 life]

:sidelol:

 

[jason8er]

- Today, Rick Spielman signed Professor Stephen J. Hawking to a 6 year $56 million dollar contract. At a press conference, Spielman said Professor Hawking would start at free safety and would add athleticism and an intimidation factor to the Vikings' secondary.

- In a recent statement to the press, Rick Spielman announced that he believed in extraterrestrial intelligence. In a related matter, extraterrestrials ruled out the possibility of intelligent life in the Minnesota Vikings front office.

- When God said he could create the world in 6 days, Rick Spielman said he could create it in 5, plus trade away Miami's 1st and 2nd round picks for space debris.

- When Abraham Lincoln was writing the Gettysburg Address, Rick Spielman was confused because he couldn't find it on Mapquest.

- After reading "The DaVinci Code", Rick Spielman immediately traded the entire Minnesota Vikings roster for Mary Magdelene and announced she would be the starting quarterback.

- After attending the 2006 Hall & Oates Fan Club Convention, Minnesota police arrested Spielman for arriving at Daryl Hall's house sobbing, drunk and naked, covered in oil and carrying two dozen red roses. Hall had a restraining order put on Spielman but said he would repeal it if he would buy 50 of "Hall & Oates Greatest Hits" CDs.

- Some people see a tree stump as a tree stump. Not Rick Spielman. He sees a starting NFL quarterback.

- CNN is reporting that part of the Abu Ghraib torture scandal involved Rick Spielman signing Reggie Howard to a multi-million dollar contract and trading a 2nd round pick for A.J. Feeley in front of lifelong Dolphins fans. These acts are strictly forbidden by the Geneva Convention. Spielman is facing charges as a war criminal.

- Before signing on as the Vikings' President of Personnel, it is rumored that Mr. Spielman tried his hand at being a financial advisor. Mr. Spielman was recently sued after clients said he encouraged them to invest in such commodities as the XFL and The Paris Hilton Foundation for Morality in America, citing them as "excellent long term investments".

- Before being hired by the Miami Dolphins by Dave Wannstedt, Rick Spielman was the spokesmodel for the "Flowbee".

Funny stuff. But in all seriousness, I would give anything to be Atlanta's GM right now. I'd make a blockbuster trade with the Vikes now for Michael Vick.

 

[endorPHINS72]

Funny stuff. But in all seriousness, I would give anything to be Atlanta's GM right now. I'd make a blockbuster trade with the Vikes now for Michael Vick.

Yeah, if Spielman gave up a 2nd for Feeley, what would he give for Michael Vick???

 

[fish fan 4 life]

Funny stuff. But in all seriousness, I would give anything to be Atlanta's GM right now. I'd make a blockbuster trade with the Vikes now for Michael Vick.

Spielman would give up his hole draft for the next two seasons for Vick.The Feeley trade is 1 of the worse trades ever IMO.

 

[FinInYpsi]

- Some people see a tree stump as a tree stump. Not Rick Spielman. He sees a starting NFL quarterback.

:sidelol: That one is great.

 

[endorPHINS72]

Spielman would give up his hole draft for the next two seasons for Vick.The Feeley trade is 1 of the worse trades ever IMO.

Hell, I think Spielman would give up the Vikings' entire draft picks in 2007 and 2008 plus his Yanni and Michael Bolton CD collections.

 

[STANK-STASH]

When he was still with us on draft day he was the only one left in the draft room waiting for round eight to start.

 

[killakimo]

funny **** but dang dude, you got waaay too much time on your hands

 

[MDFINFAN]

And yet Spielman's better at the GM position than you..since he also signed to the Dolphins - Jeno James, Bell, Hadnot, Bua, Chambers, McMicheal, Poole, Bell, D. Bowens, Pope, Wade, Booker, Morris, Sage, AJ (even if he didn't work out), McIntosh, Freeman, Howard (even though he didn't workout), Adgunleye, and on and on, he laid the ground work for the O you're about to see hopefully take off..but you guys eyes are too narrow to see that big picture. He was still GM for Saban's first draft, we don't want to give him any credit for last year, but his fingerprints are there, plus he help bring in holiday, Carter, Traylor, Schulter, Tillman, and Tebuck.. he was still GM, just didn't have final authority...but under him I still believed we would have flourish..period.

 

[Amars]

:lolcry: :spit: :rofl3: :roflmao: :bry: :vault:

Post of the day. That was funny.

 

[endorPHINS72]

funny **** but dang dude, you got waaay too much time on your hands

I think of it as therapeutic relief. I was layed off last Friday and I needed to do something to make myself and others laugh.

 

[endorPHINS72]

And yet Spielman's better at the GM position than you..since he also signed to the Dolphins - Jeno James, Bell, Hadnot, Bua, Chambers, McMicheal, Poole, Bell, D. Bowens, Pope, Wade, Booker, Morris, Sage, AJ (even if he didn't work out), McIntosh, Freeman, Howard (even though he didn't workout), Adgunleye, and on and on, he laid the ground work for the O you're about to see hopefully take off..but you guys eyes are too narrow to see that big picture. He was still GM for Saban's first draft, we don't want to give him any credit for last year, but his fingerprints are there, plus he help bring in holiday, Carter, Traylor, Schulter, Tillman, and Tebuck.. he was still GM, just didn't have final authority...but under him I still believed we would have flourish..period.

Rick? Is that you???

 

[studsatele]

And yet Spielman's better at the GM position than you..since he also signed to the Dolphins - Jeno James, Bell, Hadnot, Bua, Chambers, McMicheal, Poole, Bell, D. Bowens, Pope, Wade, Booker, Morris, Sage, AJ (even if he didn't work out), McIntosh, Freeman, Howard (even though he didn't workout), Adgunleye, and on and on, he laid the ground work for the O you're about to see hopefully take off..but you guys eyes are too narrow to see that big picture. He was still GM for Saban's first draft, we don't want to give him any credit for last year, but his fingerprints are there, plus he help bring in holiday, Carter, Traylor, Schulter, Tillman, and Tebuck.. he was still GM, just didn't have final authority...but under him I still believed we would have flourish..period.

i dont buy that crap. he simply brought nick coffee and oatmeal cream pies while saban did the dealing.

 

[endorPHINS72]

i dont buy that crap. he simply brought nick coffee and oatmeal cream pies while saban did the dealing.

I don't buy it either. Most of the guys he mentioned were also due to Dave Wannstedt as well. Should we give him credit for the future success of the Dolphins as well???