Best-case scenario:
Dante makes it back to pre-injury form and responds very positively to Cam’s coaching, the new OS, and some really cool homedics Rick Williams discovered while on spiritual retreat in Pakistan. We draft some real diamonds on the OL, which looks something like:
New Stud LT (draft), Hadnot LG, New Stud C (draft), Toledo RG and Carey RT
Lemon, whose name is now pronounced, Laay-monn, proves to be a legitimate hall of fame prospect for the future and a solid backup in the present. Chambers finally decides to be a real football player every down of every game and throws his GI Joe collection away. Booker stays healthy and productive, and Hagan improves his game exponentially in his 2nd year --- becoming the teams most “complete†WR since…(have we ever had a “complete†wide receiver?)
We also draft a TE in the 2nd or 3rd round who proves to be a steal --- possessing speed, power, hands and an intense competitiveness for kicking arse!
Of course Ronnie Brown emerges as the games premiere “power back†and rushes for 1,609 yards and scores 20 ½ TD’s. Ronnie’s success is due to (1) the vastly improved OL, which now opens holes and knocks defenders 5 yards off the line of scrimmage, and (2) the new OS which features Ronnie along with a well conceived passing game designed to spread defenses laterally, vertically, and horizontally into the Lotus position --- thereby annihilating defensive resistance with Offensive Zen (known only by Cam and 3 others who coach High School Lacrosse in Norway)!
Last, our Defense collectively shares Zack’s hyperbolic hyperbaric [whatever] tank and shaves an average 5 years off their collective age. The combo and Joey Porter and Jason Taylor (both in their Prime thanks to the above treatment) means:
Brady sports 2 broken legs early in the year (oops, can you say compound fracture!)
Pennington literally has his right arm torn off and thown at that Fireman midget during a J-E-T-S chant!
All other QB’s, upon witnessing our new terrorist unit, fall down and play dead whenever a pass is called. Thus, we give up a net –666 yards in passing for the year! (Obviously an NFL record)
Worst-case scenario:
Reality takes hold (probably around game 3)
J
Dante makes it back to pre-injury form and responds very positively to Cam’s coaching, the new OS, and some really cool homedics Rick Williams discovered while on spiritual retreat in Pakistan. We draft some real diamonds on the OL, which looks something like:
New Stud LT (draft), Hadnot LG, New Stud C (draft), Toledo RG and Carey RT
Lemon, whose name is now pronounced, Laay-monn, proves to be a legitimate hall of fame prospect for the future and a solid backup in the present. Chambers finally decides to be a real football player every down of every game and throws his GI Joe collection away. Booker stays healthy and productive, and Hagan improves his game exponentially in his 2nd year --- becoming the teams most “complete†WR since…(have we ever had a “complete†wide receiver?)
We also draft a TE in the 2nd or 3rd round who proves to be a steal --- possessing speed, power, hands and an intense competitiveness for kicking arse!
Of course Ronnie Brown emerges as the games premiere “power back†and rushes for 1,609 yards and scores 20 ½ TD’s. Ronnie’s success is due to (1) the vastly improved OL, which now opens holes and knocks defenders 5 yards off the line of scrimmage, and (2) the new OS which features Ronnie along with a well conceived passing game designed to spread defenses laterally, vertically, and horizontally into the Lotus position --- thereby annihilating defensive resistance with Offensive Zen (known only by Cam and 3 others who coach High School Lacrosse in Norway)!
Last, our Defense collectively shares Zack’s hyperbolic hyperbaric [whatever] tank and shaves an average 5 years off their collective age. The combo and Joey Porter and Jason Taylor (both in their Prime thanks to the above treatment) means:
Brady sports 2 broken legs early in the year (oops, can you say compound fracture!)
Pennington literally has his right arm torn off and thown at that Fireman midget during a J-E-T-S chant!
All other QB’s, upon witnessing our new terrorist unit, fall down and play dead whenever a pass is called. Thus, we give up a net –666 yards in passing for the year! (Obviously an NFL record)
Worst-case scenario:
Reality takes hold (probably around game 3)
J
