Why Your Team Sucks 2015 : Miami Dolphins | FinHeaven - Miami Dolphins Forums

Why Your Team Sucks 2015 : Miami Dolphins

insomnia411

insomnia411

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http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2015-miami-dolphins-1723928510

This is the most talented roster we’ve had in 12 years. Harvard says we’re the best team in the AFC. Tom Brady is (for now) suspended for 25% of the season. And the Jets and Bills have the combined QB talent of Doug Funny. We’ll go 8-8. **** Joe Philbin.
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Every year follows pretty much the same script:
- Hey! We signed (insert BIG OVERPAID FREE AGENT name here)! I’m feeling pretty good about this season!
- ::BIG OVERPAID FREE AGENT disgruntled or injured by game 6::
- That draft pick is not bad! I can see him being a solid contributor
- ::Draft pick is bullied and gives up or is injured by week 7::
- We beat the Patriots/Seahawks/other team expected to do well early in the season!
- Lose 5 games in a row immediately after
- Ok, we’ve still got a shot at this. All we have to do is beat the 1-14 Jets in the last game and we’re in the playoffs!
- Lose to the Jets by 30
- Get obnoxiously drunk and talk **** about how much it sucks to be a Dolphins fan
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You can either laugh or cry, and I always find this hilarious. Pretty fitting statements above lol.
 
"LOL" is so overused and has turned into a lazy cliche. But I literally lol'd at this. Very audibly.

If you took every quarterback that has been on the Dolphins’ roster since Dan Marino retired and sewed them ass-to-mouth human centipede style, they could reach the moon and back three times.

Super**** Nick Saban with a rusty drive shaft.
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I was just about to post this article. It had me cracking up.

"I want to fight Jeff Ireland underwater" LMAO
 
I always like reading these every year (esp Jets) but they seem to be grasping this year for Miami. I guess that's a good thing :idk:
 
Daytona Fin said:
I always like reading these every year (esp Jets) but they seem to be grasping this year for Miami. I guess that's a good thing :idk:
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It is. We are not as laughable as even two years ago.

I read the Saints one and cringed. Talk about salt in the open wound.
 
AEGBRG said:
Best line in the article.
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That whole paragraph made my day.

---------- Post added at 03:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 PM ----------

"The defensive end ****s hookers bareback in the club and needs a Z-Pak afterward to keep his blood clean."

Gold
 
-=DolfanDave=- said:
That whole paragraph made my day.

---------- Post added at 03:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 PM ----------

"The defensive end ****s hookers bareback in the club and needs a Z-Pak afterward to keep his blood clean."

Gold
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Forgot to include that line -- equally as good.
 
Did anyone else laugh at Frog's comment? I laughed out loud for five minutes!!

Frog:


If you took every quarterback that has been on the Dolphins’ roster since Dan Marino retired and sewed them ass-to-mouth human centipede style, they could reach the moon and back three times.

Super**** Nick Saban with a rusty drive shaft.
Click to expand...
 
I love the one fan comment The last time the Dolphins were really good they had two white running backs. :sidelol:
 
-=DolfanDave=- said:
That whole paragraph made my day.

---------- Post added at 03:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:20 PM ----------

"The defensive end ****s hookers bareback in the club and needs a Z-Pak afterward to keep his blood clean."

Gold
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Ha. I literally had that one ready to cut and paste. RAWDOGGGGG!!!!
 
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