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Your Best Impression Of The Dolphins News Reporters

Aqua and Orange

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This Dolphins offseason is barely a month old and has been littered with inaccurate, pompous, and poorly informed reporters. To help blow off a little steam, please insert your best impressions of them in this thread:

Chris Mortenson: "I dunno. Joe Philbin may or may not become coach of the Dolphins. I give it about a 50/50 chance. Beats me."

Armando Salguero: "My sources all over the Dolphins organization have told me that we can expect...it to be sunny in Florida today! My amazing sources also tell me that the Dolphins helmet in the logo may have an M in it. PLEASE OH PLEASE LISTEN TO MY RADIO SHOW!"

Jason La Canfora: "Put it in writing: The Colts are not going to draft a QB with Manning there." (One day later) "Put it in writing: The Colts are drafting Luck and getting rid of Manning."

Adam Schefter: "Someone just tweeted information that I do not have. Time to discredit them!"

Omar Kelly: "Due to a lack of inside info, I'm going to spend this article comparing this coaching hire for the Dolphins to a completely unrelated story involving my college girlfriend..."
 
I love the Omar one...I cannot write anything funnier. Good work.
 
Omar Kelly and Ben Volin are useless, Dave Hyde and Barry Jackson are ok and Armando is hot and cold.
 
Omar does entertain me on twitter. He seems like a chill dude, but he really doesn't have inside information.

Armando is fairly meh, but IMO is the best when it comes to camp reports

My favorites were/are Jeff Darlington, Ethan Skolnick (when he covered the Fins), and Dave Hyde. They are the most level headed.
 
Why would one bother reading the schitzophrenic ramblings of the beat writers, when one could simply peruse the schitzophrenic ramblings contained here?

:lol:
 
Oh god don't get me started on Marvez. I called him out on twitter for those comments after he ripped us for NOT getting Fisher and he blocked me.
 
Oh god don't get me started on Marvez. I called him out on twitter for those comments after he ripped us for NOT getting Fisher and he blocked me.

haha wow. If there is one sports writer that I think just outright hates the Dolphins, its him. He doesn't even pretend to be objective. Can't stand him.
 
Oh god don't get me started on Marvez. I called him out on twitter for those comments after he ripped us for NOT getting Fisher and he blocked me.

He does not like the Fins and takes any chance he can to take a shot like the article this morning on Peyton and Caldwell somehow he slips this in where he did not have to. Whether you agree or not there was little need to add it like he did.


A healthy Manning will be in high demand, especially by franchises with head coaches desperate to win now, like Mike Shanahan (Washington), Rex Ryan (New York Jets), and whatever poor schmo gets hired by the Miami Dolphins to work with bumbling team owner Stephen Ross and overmatched general manager Jeff Ireland.


http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/...olts-Peyton-Manning-future-Andrew-Luck-011712
 
Enduro------"My source inside the dolphins organization just happens to be ****ing one of Ross' nieces and he says there's a 60% chance we take a tackle, but we also are looking to trade down or possibly trade up."
 
Barry Jackson is really the only local professional sports writer writer worth anything. :up:

Armando actually gets good info sometimes but he is pettier than a 12 year old girl on the day before her 13th birthday. He can be really unbearable, it's actually funny sometimes he is so egotistical and shallow. He seems to really believe that the Dolphins deserve anything that happens to them because they don't respect HIM as much as they should. :loser1:

The other guys are not even funny anymore they are so completely lacking perspective and understanding.

In fairness to la Confora, he is getting tips and passing them on. He never says that anything is more than that and he is also a consumate professional.

I stopped watching ESPN a few years ago. Those guys are just pathetic.
 
Why would one bother reading the schitzophrenic ramblings of the beat writers, when one could simply peruse the schitzophrenic ramblings contained here?

:lol:

Love your Sig Mr. Bumpus.

Well played.
 
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