Ok. I won't kill the messenger. I'll kill the guy who
wrote this ****ing "story", a hapless dweeb named Larry Seely.
This is a fuzzy picture of Larry.
I assume that's him in the middle, rather than being really distant picture of a guy throwing himself in front of a rollercoaster.
And this is how he describes himself on his "Gather.com" profile:
That's right. Larry just got back into the "writing thing." Which apparently doesn't mean getting back to the "attributable sources" thing, as this story quotes nothing other than the vibrations Larry gets through his lead fillings and his aluminum foil hat. But I guess he's kind of busy with his main business,
Seely Virtual Services, which has this Web site:
http://www.seelyvirtualservices.com/joomla/
This site has an "About Us", where Larry has yet another profile.
Larry likes profiles.
That's right, folks. Larry has a creative writing background. Including poetry! He's a published poet, which given Larry's diligence on sourcing things means he probably wrote haiku in poop on wall of his childhood bedroom. Also, Larry writes "social network articles", which is just good old fashioned poetry-speak for saying he used myspace once and managed to updated his "interests" so that means you should definitely hire him.
Oh, was this the part where you expected to find out that Larry actually has some journalism experience? Because sadly, for all Larry's varied and fascinating life experiences as a social media updater and published poet... he has none.
But that sure hasn't stopped him from pretending! Check out some stories Larry's posted in the last few days.
"Tim Tebow to Redskins"
"Chris Johnson to Cowboys?"
"Albert Haynesworth to Broncos".
A little note for m'pal Larry: Haynesworth was traded to the Patriots on July 28th, almost a month before you wrote this.
"Osi Umenyiora to Bears?".
This story touts the -- and I quote -- "much needed piece" a Umenyiora trade would bring to the locker room.
Can I go on? Yes, I can go on.
Here is Larry's
twitter account:
http://twitter.com/#!/golfnut1965. It includes helpful links to all his made-up bull****.
Just a tip, if you decide to follow him:
If Larry says the rumors are the Sun will come up tomorrow, make sure you get a second source.