Saban has declared that attendence at the games will be limited to only those fans who can pass a special I.Q. test developed by Saban himself.
This is going to seriously cut into Wayne Huizenga's profits from the team, but the owner has told Saban that whatever he feels is best for the Dolphins, will be done.
"It gets distracting with all those people in the stands" said Saban when asked about the radical change. "All the yelling, and noise, besides most football fans are just plain ignorant." "If you can limit the attendance to those folks who know all the nuances of the game, it saves me from having to have press conferences, and explaining to the 'football stupids' why players did what they did on the field".
When asked about the new policy Huizenga replied; "Yeah it's going to cut into my profits quite a bit, but I gave him full control of the team and all it's affairs." "Besides, I am loaded, you think I am going to miss a couple million dollars?"
How hard is Sabans' test? "The entire team took it, and everyone except Sage Rosenfels failed it," said Saban. "However I am looking into Sage's score." "I don't understand how he passed the test as I forbid any of the players from attending on test day."
Saban went on to say, "I am hopeful that one day the mini-camps, training camps, pre-season, and regular season games can all be played out in my head." "That will be a great day...HEY! GET AWAY FROM MY LITTLE DEBBIE SNACKS!!"
Hey Saban, what's with the life size picture of Hitler?
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