1. NE @ MIA W Yep. No Gronk. New England's first look at the new offense. New England comes out of the gate slow.
2. MIA @ BUF W Vengeance.
3. KC @ MIA L Haters immediately call for Tannehill's head, despite a 3 TD, 1 INT performance.
4. MIA @ OAK (London) W You know how many time zones are in between Oakland and London? Nine. I know they're coming off a bye, but that's silly.
5. Bye
6. GB @ MIA L Multiple threads pop up about how the Dolphins "aren't ready for Prime Time"
7. MIA @ CHI L WVDolphan and ElleClouds start a "Shouright was right" thread, and offer to drive Ryan Tannehil to the airport after a lackluster performance.
8. MIA @ JAC W Yeah. The Phins pull out a squeaker they should have won handily, because Toby Gerhart ran for 280 yards.
9. SD @ MIA W The Dolphins roster Kellen Winslow Jr. for this game, then declare him inactive. Just for karma.
10. MIA @ DET W Hereafter referred to as "The Will Davis Game."
11. BUF @ MIA W The Bills start Thad Lewis for this game. In a stroke of genius, Philbin retaliates by starting Matt Moore. Fins win 35-28.
12. MIA @ DEN L Despite giving up 500 yards of total offense, WVDolphan insists Matt Ryan would have won the game anyway if he was a Dolphin.
13. MIA @ NYJ L Because they're the Jets.
14. BAL @ MIA W Because I'm going to tell you a little secret. Baltimore isn't very good.
15. MIA @ NE L The Dolphins get blown out. Anarchy reigns on FinHeaven.
16. MIN @ MIA W The Fins put eight in the box as Teddy Bridgewater gets his first start.
17. NYJ @ MIA W A "win and you're in" for the Dolphins, Bill Lazor's offense finally becomes what it's supposed to as the Fins torch the Jets CBs for over 400 yards receiving.