After Many Sleepless Nights, I’ve Finally Pinpointed How the Miami Dolphins Angered the Football God

[multistage]

This is such a crock of ****.

The team's been bad because Shula drafted like a dickhead, JJ ran his offense like a dickhead, Dave Wannstedt coached, picked personnel, and ran the team like a dickhead, Nick Saban was the human embodiment of a dickhead, Cam Cameron had no ****, Bill Parcells was a mercenary dickhead using us as a laboratory for his dickhead experiment, Joe Philbin literally looked like a dickhead, and uhhh yeah I don't know.

Now this one got me laughing with both the humor and the accuracy.

 

[The Ghost]

Dumb.

 

[TheJetsBlow]

This is such a crock of ****.

The team's been bad because Shula drafted like a dickhead, JJ ran his offense like a dickhead, Dave Wannstedt coached, picked personnel, and ran the team like a dickhead, Nick Saban was the human embodiment of a dickhead, Cam Cameron had no ****, Bill Parcells was a mercenary dickhead using us as a laboratory for his dickhead experiment, Joe Philbin literally looked like a dickhead, and uhhh yeah I don't know.

The team is cursed. There's always someone who has to throw cold water on this kind of stuff, but curses in sports exist and this franchise is most certainly cursed.

 

[Blackcreekbandit]

This is such a crock of ****.

The team's been bad because Shula drafted like a dickhead, JJ ran his offense like a dickhead, Dave Wannstedt coached, picked personnel, and ran the team like a dickhead, Nick Saban was the human embodiment of a dickhead, Cam Cameron had no ****, Bill Parcells was a mercenary dickhead using us as a laboratory for his dickhead experiment, Joe Philbin literally looked like a dickhead, and uhhh yeah I don't know.

Saving this to remember to nominate it for post of the year

 

[Highzenga]

Let's be honest, while the Marino years were great as far as watching him play...the team was still pretty average, maybe above average. I think we had a nice 3-year span from 83-85 and after that, it was very hit or miss.

But we were a threat to win the super bowl every year much like Rodgers and Green Bay are today

 

[J. David Wannyheimer]

The team is cursed. There's always someone who has to throw cold water on this kind of stuff, but curses in sports exist and this franchise is most certainly cursed.

Dude, the Bears also hired Dave Wannstedt, who imploded their franchise for at least a decade. Are the Bears cursed, too?

 

[TheJetsBlow]

Dude, the Bears also hired Dave Wannstedt, who imploded their franchise for at least a decade. Are the Bears cursed, too?

I'm just saying- look at the total history of the franchise since they left the OB. Look at the totality of it- the comical bad luck. Of course horrible mismanagement is the problem, but there's seemingly been a black cloud over the franchise for years. There's a systemic culture issue that's infected the franchise for decades. I mean, some of the stuff that happens to the Dolphins isn't just incompetence- the kind of bad luck that's befallen the franchise over the years is hard to explain.

 

[FSU Truth]

But we were a threat to win the super bowl every year much like Rodgers and Green Bay are today

Not really, never had a defense or real running game. Man, we have low expectations as a fan base.

 

[gregorygrant83]

But we were a threat to win the super bowl every year much like Rodgers and Green Bay are today

Not including his rookie season or the year he got injured and only played 5 games, Marino had 8 other seasons where he won 9 games or less, so there were some middle of the pack years.

 

[gregorygrant83]

Not really, never had a defense or real running game. Man, we have low expectations as a fan base.

Don't know if it's low expectations or just being realistic. There are 32 teams so there's a 50% chance you'll be in the 9 thru 24 range. Only a 25% chance of being in either the bottom 8 or top 8.

 

[Fins1971]

Not really, never had a defense or real running game. Man, we have low expectations as a fan base.

That is so untrue.

85 beat the eventual Champs, missed SB due to loss to NE and turnovers in Conference championship
90 beat by Bills (Nemesis) in Playoffs, Could have beaten Oakland and Giants that year. Top 5 defense.
92 beat by Bills again in Conference Championship. Not sure we could have beaten Dallas but we would have done better than 51-3, had top 10 d that year also.

There are 3 where we really had a chance.

 

[DolfanISS]

The only time it lingers is when it gets brought up on Finheaven. Otherwise I would never think about it. We had our asses whipped plenty of times in the playoffs with Marino at the helm.

I wish the Seahawks drove down the field and kicked the winning field goal the week before. It would have sucked at the time but we all got one last glimpse of vintage Marino when he put together the go ahead drive. Going out with that would have been better.

 

[johngarryvo]

can we like arrange some kind of fan ceremony in the lot, or touch Garfinkel to see if he'd ok something mid-field (barefoot & no fire)

 

[Aqua Shadow]

After our playoff season in 2016, I figured our Tequesta Curse was over.

Before the remodeling of the stadium, I had visions of semi trucks filled with cash backing up to the tribe chiefs door with Ross riding on top holding a greeting card. Inside the card, it reads like this:

 

[Viggen]

This is such a crock of ****.

The team's been bad because Shula drafted like a dickhead, JJ ran his offense like a dickhead, Dave Wannstedt coached, picked personnel, and ran the team like a dickhead, Nick Saban was the human embodiment of a dickhead, Cam Cameron had no ****, Bill Parcells was a mercenary dickhead using us as a laboratory for his dickhead experiment, Joe Philbin literally looked like a dickhead, and uhhh yeah I don't know.

I would say this isn’t a bad readout, but if Shula had access to Free Agency like there is today, Marino would have had rings like Brady. Shula went after Emmitt Smith, and he got Keith Jackson. His drafting was a downfall, and not holding onto, nor bringing back Arnsbarger were costly non moves.