I truly feel that most of us are disappointed and have our hatred against Ricky because we feel betrayed. We feel like he walked out on us, which is true. This isn't like some teenager quitting his job at a fast food place every other month and walking out. A lot of people depended on and were counting on Ricky. He let his teammates down. He let the fans down. I understand that Ricky suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder. I may understand this better than a lot of people here for the simple fact that I have also been disagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder as well as Depression. I too, like Ricky have used the the anti-depressant Paxil (used for treating depression and anxiety). And let me tell you, those types of perscription drug medications really screw with your head. One of the biggest mistakes I made was taking that medication as well as going on and off it (sometimes without telling the doctor). I'm assuming Ricky made the same mistake as I did because I recall him saying that he stopped taking Paxil because it was interfering with his diet. Which is true any medication or drug can make you gain weight or lose weight. And we all know how important a diet is for a football player or any athlete for that matter. One of the most important things for a professional athelete is their diet, no doubt about that. I honestly don't blame Ricky for wanting to get off that medication. That is one of the only few things, I don't blame him for.
Also like Ricky I myself have also smoked marijuana a few times before. Never once in my life did I ever become addicted nor would I ever try any other drug. My brother was heroine addict, and I just seen all the stress and worst possible things imagined that, that could put through a family. I remember Ricky once saying "Marijuana works me better than Paxil ever could." When he said that... it just really hit me because I've experienced the same EXACT thing and completely agreed. Paxil didn't help me much, and I went off it too quick and it screwed my mind up... I almost ended up committing suicide because of it. Never once in my lfie was I ever truly suicidal before I had taken Paxil or any type of medication for that reason, that just is an example of how much if affects your brain and why you should never go off it without the doctor knowing and going off it slowly. I made a mistake, and I almost let a lot of people down because of it... unfortuately Ricky did let a lot of people down but in a different way. When it came to anxiety, smoking weed helped so much more than Paxil or any other medication ever could. It just hit me so hard when he said that. My favorite player at the time... quitting the NFL. Leaving the Miami Dolphins. Going off Paxil (The same medication I had taken) and smoking weed which I had tried when I never thought I ever would have.
As for now, I haven't smoked in months, actually don't think I have since last summer to be perfectly honest. I've only smoked a few times in my life, and for the most part it was more for treating the anxiety and helping with the depression more than it was just for fun. I was always with friends and girls whenever I did though, I never did it alone. And only a few times total in my lifetime. The point I'm trying to make by all this is, I don't condone Ricky's actions for what he did to the fans, the team, and this whole organization. I really truly can relate what he is going through or has went through and it's really ashame. I'm very fortuate, and I wish Ricky dealed with everything differently and it could have all turned out a whole lot better... and he could just be seeing a psychiatrist every so often... working on his problems... yet still be in the NFL. He didn't have to continue endorsing he smoked marijuana, bash the team... deny that he had done anything wrong. Deny any apologies whatsoever. I like Ricky, have made a mistake (many mistakes... hell we all have), and I truly feel I have changed and become a better person. Ricky is (well was) in his mid to late 20's when this all happened. He's got to be more mature and more responsible for his actions and what he says.
They say some people never change, I would like to believe that doesn't go for everyone, but I realize it some cases, it's true. I understand this may just be wishful thinking on my part, but I want to believe that if Ricky does come back he will be a changed man and not only like he was in 2002 but better than that. I'm just talking physically and athletically, but mentally. Because that's where the route of all his problems lie, mentally. First thing he has to do or if he hasn't already is get off the weed. Second is start working on being more positive, being responbile, being mature, and not only showing but believing in hardwork and dedication that he still has love for this game and would still like to play for this organization. Next he should continue working out to get back in shape to what he once was or the best he can be, if he hasn't already.
Again, this is all just wishful thinking but I want to be positive about it and hope for the best. I learn never to count on Ricky again and what he has done for us, but I'm not giving up hope yet. I'm still going to believe there's a chance he can change and prove a lot of the doubters wrong, and that it will all be for the best. I know better than to count on that happening, but my by no means am I counting on that. I'm sorry I wrote like 500 pages worth of me blabbering, but I've wanted to share my personal insight on the situation. I've been delaying posting in this thread because I wanted I knew I would have a lot to say and I wanted to think about it before I actually did it. Hell, I could go on for so much more but for anyone who's made it this far. Thanks reading. And apologize for everyone else for taking up so much space. Thanks you.
--Mike
