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We MUST Pick Up Jimmy Sweeney

infiltrateib

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He had hopes for a 3rd round selection, but was unfortunately undrafted. It is amazing that Maurice Clarett went above him.

According to some front offices, their scouts questioned his dedication to the game. According to an NFC East scout, "He left the combine for Stove Top at 7" and tested positive for Juicy Juice, a new designer steroid that has plagued middle schools.

There are also concerns about his knee, which he scraped playing dodgeball. Middle school nurse Patricia Legrange said "he'd be fine" but he winced when the Bactine was put on there so it's still a concern.

His character issues have been resolved, as he issued a letter to all 32 times stipulating that he'd put a clause in his contract forbidding him from "using swears."

His agent, Rockman McStrongArm, has been considered "shady." His number is listed as the same as Jimmy's and whenever you call asking for Mr. McStrongArm the person on the phone changes his voice to a gruff tone and says "this is Rockman." He also has seemingly outrageous contract demands which include the yet-unreleased PS3 and "like 350lbs of candy." Similar to Alex Smith, analysts have called him "unsignable."

He's likely to lower his demands, however, and is scheduled for a visit after school on Monday.
 

Phinz4Life

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Those character concerns are way too much of a risk.
 

fishypete

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Phinz4Life said:
Those character concerns are way too much of a risk.

Character concerns? After Roth and Crowder....this guy must be related to the Devil....LOL.
 

inFINSible

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I don't think we need the headaches of someone who would call someone else a "poopsicle". I mean, what if one day he decides to just take his ball and go home??

What would we do for a ball then?? Huh!?!? Answer me that, Sweeney lover!

Just say no to players who are 7 old and already showing signs of anger management issues. :yell: :yell: :fire: :fire: :yell: :yell:
 

phunwin

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I say we make a move. PHENOMENAL upside! He's got 14 years to grow into his frame, so we can just stash him on the practice squad. Moreover, given that he's age 7, we can probably sign him for pocket change and Pokemon cards.
 

Buddwalk

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infiltrateib said:
He had hopes for a 3rd round selection, but was unfortunately undrafted. It is amazing that Maurice Clarett went above him.

According to some front offices, their scouts questioned his dedication to the game. According to an NFC East scout, "He left the combine for Stove Top at 7" and tested positive for Juicy Juice, a new designer steroid that has plagued middle schools.

There are also concerns about his knee, which he scraped playing dodgeball. Middle school nurse Patricia Legrange said "he'd be fine" but he winced when the Bactine was put on there so it's still a concern.

His character issues have been resolved, as he issued a letter to all 32 times stipulating that he'd put a clause in his contract forbidding him from "using swears."

His agent, Rockman McStrongArm, has been considered "shady." His number is listed as the same as Jimmy's and whenever you call asking for Mr. McStrongArm the person on the phone changes his voice to a gruff tone and says "this is Rockman." He also has seemingly outrageous contract demands which include the yet-unreleased PS3 and "like 350lbs of candy." Similar to Alex Smith, analysts have called him "unsignable."

He's likely to lower his demands, however, and is scheduled for a visit after school on Monday.

wats amazing is how someone like clarrett goes ahead of

Marion Barber
Darren Sproles
and
someone like kay jay harris goes undrafted
 

inFINSible

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phunwin said:
I say we make a move. PHENOMENAL upside! He's got 14 years to grow into his frame, so we can just stash him on the practice squad. Moreover, given that he's age 7, we can probably sign him for pocket change and Pokemon cards.
You're crazy no way will he sign for that...Did you see who his agent is?!?...I bet he doesn't sign for anything less than 1,000,000 lbs of candy.
 

touborg

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I was really into Sweeney after he burned Clarett on his 40. He would be a steal as an undrafted FA.
 

Dol-Fan Dupree

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That sucks. I used to love Juicy Juice. It was like juice but without all those pesky vitamins and fruit juice. Flavored sugar water, just what a kid likes. Now that name is tainted by some stupid steroid. There is no god
 

phinfan2003

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infiltrateib said:
I'd watch it, Jimmy is pretty popular around these parts...

The reason I'm boooing is not because of the kid, it's because I actually thought it was a 2005 NFL prospect that the Dolphins could have used. Had this joke been made on a different board, I wouldn't have booed.
 
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