Sorry, it looks weak, and I know it wouldn't motivate me if I were in the room listening to him. Looks impersonal and out of touch with the moment.
Really, how many talking points do they have to cover during a few minutes after a game? It's not like he was giving a State of the Union Address.
Well if you needed to be motivated by a speech after the game, you wouldn't be in the NFL would you.
I think its a sign of being detailed and thorough. He writes down specific things that he wants to point out to a team, I have no problem with that. I'll always value content over delivery. How a coach delivers a post game speech wont have any effect whatsoever on the performance of the team, but what he says will.