Okaym the real question... no of course not, but it happened. Am I proud of it no, am I a wife beater, not in my eyes. I was a flash situation that I reacted to to, in my eyes, survive.
I don't take pride in it, but I also don't feel asamed. I was dealing with an individual that could not be dealt, rationaly, with plain an simple.
I was debilitated and I came back with the force I felt neccesary to end the situation.
At the time, I had no idea what that force actually was. But it did have the outcome I wanted. All the pain and suffering ended at that point. To this day, my wife thanks me for it(even though I loath myself for it). The point is, you can't truely put yourself or you loved one there, unless you have in FACT been there!