"Master"... I like that.
Well young grasshopper, let's start with the coaching staff he's assembled. We have a very inexperienced quarterback and Philbin hired a very inexperienced quarterback coach to teach him. Nepotism trumped necessity in that case. Next, he hired Mike Sherman to call the offense and Sherman just isn't very good at play-calling.
Let's move on... stay with me here, grasshopper. It's Sunday, October 20th. The Miami Dolphins, after starting 3-0, are now 3-2 having lost the previous two games. We can right the ship though. We have a bye-week and all that extra time to prepare for a division game at home against the Bills. Division games being incredibly important and often a deciding factor in making the playoffs, we expect the Dolphins to come out fired up and beat the Bills. We expect our new coach to have this team primed, pumped, and prepared to smack the Bills in the mouth and raise our hands in victory when the ref blows the last whistle of the day. But it doesn't happen that way. Instead of being pumped to beat a division rival on our home turf, we come out flat and uninspired. And we lose. Despite having an extra week to prepare, we lose to an inferior division opponent.
Come grasshopper, let's travel to the next hill, shall we? We have an offensive guard who has managed to make himself unwelcome at every goddamned stop in his football career. The man has serious character flaws and left to his own devices can find trouble the way a hound can find a fox. Everything about this guy's history indicates that he needs some kind of mentor or at least someone to nudge him in the right direction. But instead of setting that man up to succeed, Philbin allows him to assume a leadership role on a young team. Philbin set him up to fail.
Now sit, my young apprentice, and contemplate these words: One does not have to live with the wasp to know it's nature if one has seen a wasp before.
In peace, I leave you now.
And make sure my car is washed in the morning.