Master!
I hear ya on Buffalo, but then he came right back on short week and made Andy Dalton, who was so great coming in, and made him look....well...jonathan martin like.
Poor young grasshopper, your orange and teal enthusiasm has elevated inconsistency to the ranks of preparedness, motivation, and a solid game plan.
Think long on this, grasshopper: The lion is king of the jungle, but if he is outsmarted by the field mouse, fewer will respect or fear him.
And so who is the king of the Jungle this year Master!?
The lion is king of the jungle.
Listen to my story, young grasshopper...
On a brisk fall afternoon, a very young brave and his grandfather were walking across a grassy plain when the young boy spotted a band of wild horses. His eyes were drawn to a majestic black and white pinto who was galloping at the head. The boy stared at the animal in awe, tugged at a beaded leather strip hanging from his grandfather's deer skin jacket and said, "Grandfather, someday I will catch that horse."
The grandfather replied with a question, "How do you catch a loose horse?"
The young brave, never having caught a horse in the wild, quizzically looked up at his grandfather. "I don't know, grandfather, how do you catch a loose horse?"
"Make a noise like a carrot," came the old man's reply.
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The NFL is very bad at making a noise like a carrot this year. They will not catch the Broncos.
Master!
The carrots ankles.... have seemed.... to take a turn... for the worst.
How can the carrott..... catch the horse.... with painful ankles?
Grasshopper, you seem to have your horses and carrots mixed up.
Sometimes you have to know you will never reach some people and just give up my friend. This guy is one of them."Master"... I like that.
Well young grasshopper, let's start with the coaching staff he's assembled. We have a very inexperienced quarterback and Philbin hired a very inexperienced quarterback coach to teach him. Nepotism trumped necessity in that case. Next, he hired Mike Sherman to call the offense and Sherman just isn't very good at play-calling.
Let's move on... stay with me here, grasshopper. It's Sunday, October 20th. The Miami Dolphins, after starting 3-0, are now 3-2 having lost the previous two games. We can right the ship though. We have a bye-week and all that extra time to prepare for a division game at home against the Bills. Division games being incredibly important and often a deciding factor in making the playoffs, we expect the Dolphins to come out fired up and beat the Bills. We expect our new coach to have this team primed, pumped, and prepared to smack the Bills in the mouth and raise our hands in victory when the ref blows the last whistle of the day. But it doesn't happen that way. Instead of being pumped to beat a division rival on our home turf, we come out flat and uninspired. And we lose. Despite having an extra week to prepare, we lose to an inferior division opponent.
Come grasshopper, let's travel to the next hill, shall we? We have an offensive guard who has managed to make himself unwelcome at every goddamned stop in his football career. The man has serious character flaws and left to his own devices can find trouble the way a hound can find a fox. Everything about this guy's history indicates that he needs some kind of mentor or at least someone to nudge him in the right direction. But instead of setting that man up to succeed, Philbin allows him to assume a leadership role on a young team. Philbin set him up to fail.
Now sit, my young apprentice, and contemplate these words: One does not have to live with the wasp to know it's nature if one has seen a wasp before.
In peace, I leave you now.
And make sure my car is washed in the morning.
i hope we are not stupid enough to fire the only competent head coach we have had in quite a long time...
Sometimes you have to know you will never reach some people and just give up my friend. This guy is one of them.